tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-92113422179012112362024-03-08T14:11:11.816-08:00Going Pigeon: The darker side of Phillies FandomDon Pigeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02935719013014134165noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9211342217901211236.post-29845683370409499402010-09-26T11:01:00.000-07:002010-09-26T11:01:42.566-07:00Going Pigeon: Mets at Phillies - 9/25/10: djpigeon@comcast.net<script type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
The magic number stays at 2 as the Braves snap their 4-game losing streak in Washington this afternoon.<br />
<br />
As for the Phils, plently of bad omens for tonight: playing Mets on Saturday . . . with Kyle Kendrick on the mound . . .against a rookie pitcher (Dillon Gee).<br />
<br />
But the Phils bested R.A. Dickey last night, so 12 straight wins can happen!<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
You know the Phils are on fire when Kyle Kendrick walks off the mound after just 10 pitches! Strikes out Reyes and his dreadlocks, and gets Chris Carter and Carlos Beltran on soft groundouts.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: JUST SAYIN'</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">On the WPHT radio broadcast Scott Franske quotes Gerry Manual as saying that Gee's best attribute is 'his ability to throw strikes'.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">When a pitcher reaches the Major Leagues; I would assume that 'ability to throw strikes' is implied.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">CONSPIRACY THEORY</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Chase Utley has a way of pissing off the New York baseball community (Boo? . . F--- you!).</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">The Phils second baseman did it again last night when he attempted to break up a double play with a textbook take-out slide in the fifth inning.</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: red;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">David Wright got has panties in a bunch, accusing Utley of crossing the line by trying to injure 2nd baseman Ruben Tejada. I suppose Wright figures the long history of bad blood between Tejada and the Phillies, plus Tejada's potential to beat Philly in the upcoming postseason, are lthe motives for Utley's terroristic behavior.</span></strong><br />
<br />
Dillon Gee is downright polite in his approach to pitching Utley in the first inning. The rookie falls behind Utley 3-1 before Chase lines a single to left.<br />
<br />
Gee starts Ryan Howard with changeups, and nearly strikes him out with a 1-2 changeup in the dirt - if Scott Barry had worked tonight's game, Howard's check swing would have been strike three.<br />
<br />
Gee then moves from his best pitch (changeup) to his second best pitch. Howard uses his best swing to send the ball 430-feet and send the Phils to a 2-0 lead. The CBP crowd is the loudest it's been all week.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: PHI 2 - NYM 0</strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">MyPhilly17 shows highlights of the Philadelphia Baseball Writers Association awards presented to Phillie players before the game.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">In a display of creative thinking, the PBWA named Ryan Howard the 2010 Phillies Most Valuable Player.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">If I were a member of the PBWA, my ballot would have looked like this:</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">1. Carlos Ruiz (brilliant job handling staff and frequent clutch hitting)</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">2. Wilson Valdez (bench signee anchored the defense and even won a handful of games with his bat)</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">3. Placido Polanco (best pure hitter and played stellar defense at 3rd)</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">4. Ryan Howard (best run producer on team but essentially lost a month with ankle sprain on 7/31)</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Way to think outside the box guys!</span><br />
<br />
Kyle Kendrick erases the Mets on 15 pitches, working around Angel Pagan's two-out single.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: PHI 2 - NYM 0</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">As Geoff Jenkins kibitzes with Tom McCarthy and Chris Wheeler, the Phllies offense starts to slip into auto-pilot. Raul Ibanez jams himself on a high change-up. Carlos Ruiz then strikes out by flinging his bat into the Mets dugout; fooled badly by a Gee change-up . . .OR WAS HE??</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Carlos Ruiz can barely speak English, but he can understand what he hears and reads. Gerry Manual wanted to send the Phils a message after the Utley-Tejada incident. We all know that terroristic threats don't play well in Panama . . .the bat just misses Gerry Manual</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Well played Carlos . . .well played . . .</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Wilson Valdez ends the inning with a soft liner to Reyes </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: PHI 2 - NYM 0</strong><br />
Kendrick continues his mastery of the Mets, setting the visitor down on just six pitches. Reyes blasts the final pitch to the CF fence, but Victorino snags it alongside the Turkey Hill sign.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: PHI 2 - NYM 0</strong><br />
Kyle Kendrick senses the moment tonight, but apart from Ryan Howard, his teammates aren't joining him. Kendrick strokes a single between Wright and Bob Marley, er, Jose Reyes.<br />
But instead of letting rookie Dillon Gee baste in the pressure of 45.000 bloodthirsty fans, Shane Victorino chases an outside change-up and grounds into a double-play.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: EDITORIAL CONFESSION</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">I have two teenagers and 50-plus hour per week job - so sometimes I write these things in the present tense off DVR. But even if I didn't know the future of this blog; I'd be troubled that the Phils aren't battling harder against Gee with a 2-0 lead.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 4th: PHI 2 - NYM 0</strong><br />
The Phils hit the ball hard, but Chase Utley's line drive and Ryan Howard's fly ball find leather. Jayson Werth singles with two outs, but Ibanez lunges after an outside fastball for an inning-ending groundout.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: PHI 2 - NYM 0</strong><br />
The Phils offense continues to play like it has Ruth Crist's dinner reservations. so Kyle Kendrick only has a two-run margin to begin the seventh.<br />
<br />
Carlos Beltran leads off with a single to right, and J.C. Romero begins to warm up alongside Chad Durbin in the bullpen.<br />
David Wright grounds softly to Kendrick, who wheels and fires to Chase Utley - make that Wilson Valdez, who cuts off Utley and records the force-out.<br />
The mix-up at second base may have costs the Phils a double-play, since Valdez's momentum carried him away from any throw to first.<br />
<br />
Ike Davis continues his hemorrhoid-like habits against the Phils with a looping single to left, moving Wright to second.<br />
Angel Pagan slaps a routine grounder to Ryan Howard, but the ball takes a sudden bounce and glances off Howard's glove for an error that loads the bases.<br />
<br />
The Mets have paid for swinging early all night against Kendrick, but Josh Thole is rewarded for his first-pitch hack with an RBI single just past Utley's glove. The single brings Charlie Manual out of the dugout to pull Kendrick after a great performance.<br />
<br />
Chad Durbin has been one of the Phils more dependable relievers in 2010, but the recent string of deep starts has left him idle since a 1-inning stint against the Nationals on Sept 18.<br />
Durbin's rust shows when he fires a batting-cage fastball to Lucas Duda, who clears the bases with a double to right-center.<br />
<br />
Durbin strikes out Gee for the second out, but his 3-1 hanger to Jose Reyes is lined to the gap in right-center for the fifth and final Mets run.<br />
<br />
The Phils go down meekly against Met relievers Elmer Dessens, Pedro Feliciano and Hisnori Takahasi.<br />
The winning streak ends at 11 and the magic number remains at 2.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final score: Mets 5 - Phillies 2</strong><br />
<strong>Magic number to clinch NL East: 2</strong><br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
One of my son’s all-time favorite XBOX games is Gears of War. It’s a shooter game with aliens batting humans; very violent and very popular.<br />
The best finishing move in the game is the CURB STOMP. One player wounds another, and as the fallen player is dying, his opponent will crush his neck to finish him off.<br />
<br />
Tonight, the Phils have a chance to curb stomp the Atlanta Braves. Roy Oswalt (13-13, 2.90 ERA) goes for the Phils against Braves right-hander Tommy Hanson (10-11, 3.62 ERA).<br />
<br />
I like the Phils chances.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Roy Oswalt came here to win a World Series. He isn’t about to let a thundershower get in his way.<br />
Omar Infante makes solid contact with an 0-1 change-up, but he sends the ball straight at Chase Utley.<br />
Jason Heyward nearly face-plants after sending a soft grounder to first, and Martin Prado taps out to Oswalt to end inning.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
Good news/Bad news – The Phils know Tommy Hanson and he is a hard thrower, but he has top-of-the rotation stuff and he commands it well in the first inning.<br />
Victorino, Polanco and Utley ground out softly.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
Brian McCann and Derrick Lee go down swinging, and Nate McLouth fouls five pitches before grounding out to first.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
Jayson Werth works a walk, steals second with two outs and moves to third when McCann throws well behind the runner.<br />
But Ruiz is fooled on a changeup and flies weakly to right to end the inning.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: 0-0</strong><br />
Roy Oswalt takes Hanson’s challenge and dominates the bottom of the Braves order: striking out Alex Gonzalez and Rick Ankiel while forcing Hanson into a 6-3 groundout.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: 0-0</strong><br />
Wilson Valdez bids for a line single to leadoff the third, but the wicked liner finds Martin Prado’s glove for the first out.<br />
Roy Oswalt shatters his bat on a change-up and Shane Victorino grounds softly to first.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: NOTHING FUNNY HERE</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">During Victorino’s at-bat, Tom McCarthy announces that Shane Victorino made a Public Service appearance at Pennridge HS this afternoon to warn against texting while driving.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Given every current Phillie to choose from, I would think Shane Victorino is ‘Most Likely to Text while driving’.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Sorry folks, that’s the best I’ve got so far . . .</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 4th: 0-0</strong><br />
After starting the game perfect through 11 batters, Roy Oswalt makes a decent pitch with a 94-mph outside fastball. But Martin Prado makes a better swing, staying back and launching a double to the warning track in right center.<br />
But Brian McCann falls victim to an Oswalt change-up, grounding softly to Ryan Howard.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 4th: 0-0</strong><br />
Placido Polanco works a 3-2 count and chases ball four, popping up to Derrick Lee in foul ground.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: DO AS I SAY; NOT AS I DO</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">During one of Chase Utley’s at-bats on Tuesday night, Tommy Hanson was seen in the Atlanta dugout warning teammates about how Utley leans in to collect HBP.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Naturally, Hanson’s first pitch to Utley smacks off his left hip.</span></strong><br />
<br />
On Monday afternoon, Braves GM John Scherholz whined about how small Citizens Bank Park plays for opposing pitchers. But the left-field corner plays big enough for Nate McLouth to catch Ryan Howard’s fly ball for the second out.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 5th: 0-0</strong><br />
If CBP plays big enough for Tommy Hanson, then Roy Oswalt figures it can play big for him too.<br />
Derrick Lee, Nate McLouth and Alex Gonzalez each send can-of-corn fly balls to Shane Victorino.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 5th: 0-0</strong><br />
Raul Ibanez grounds weakly to Omar Infante on a 3-2 slider for the first out, but Carlos Ruiz ends Hanson’s no-hit bid with a liner to the gap in left-center. Nate McLouth charges and appears to have a chance, but instead of sliding to the ball he slides under it, allowing Ruiz to chug into second with a double.<br />
<br />
Wilson Valdez works a walk to put runners on first and second.<br />
Roy Oswalt fouls two bunt attempts but places his third pitch in front of the plate, forcing McCann to throw to first as the runners advance.<br />
<br />
Shane Victorino wades through a series of sliders before fouling off a 2-2 fastball.<br />
The Flyin’ Hawaiian doesn’t expect another fastball, but there’s no excuse for him to watch one sail down the middle for a called third strike.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 6th: 0-0</strong><br />
Moments after Tommy Hanson survives a 27-pitch fifth inning, Roy Oswalt sets the Braves down with just 8 pitches – including three pitch strikeouts of Ankiel and Hanson<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 6th: 0-0</strong><br />
Placido Polanco battles Hanson but grounds to second on a 2-2 sinker.<br />
Chase Utley then battles back from a 0-2 count to line a 3-2 fastball to center.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: HELPING HAND</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Tommy Hanson has pitched a tremendous game through 5.1 innings. But after Utley’s single, home plate umpire Larry Vanover decides that Hanson needs some extra help.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Hanson tries to finish Ryan Howard off with a 1-2 curveball, but the pitch sails past Howard’s elbows – making it a ball in the 21st century. But Vanover rings up the Big Piece for the second out.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Jayson Werth then watches a 0-1 fastball sail a foot outside. Vanover decides that Hanson needs help against the Big Bad Phillies, so he buries Werth 0-2. </span></strong><br />
<br />
Werth fights his way back to draw a walk, but Raul Ibanez falls victim to yet another change-up as he grounds out 4-3.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: 0-0</strong><br />
As the thunderstorms that have surrounded Philadelphia all evening creep into Citizens Bank Park, Roy Oswalt concludes his outing by striking out Jason Heyward, jamming Martin Prado into a groundout and striking out Derrick Lee to strand Brian McCann (two-out walk) at first.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 7th: 0-0</strong><br />
Carlos Ruiz greets reliever Peter Moylan with a single to center, and Wilson Valdez bunts him to second.<br />
With the potential go-ahead run on second with one out, Charlie Manual decides to replace Roy Oswalt (.145 batting average) with Greg Dobbs (.128 batting average as a pinch-hitter).<br />
<br />
Dobbs - a dead-red fastball hitter – watches Craig Kimrbel fire a 96-mph fastball down the middle for strike three.<br />
<br />
Shane Victorino draws a walk – with Ruiz advancing to third on a wild pitch, but Placido Polanco pops a 2-0 fastball along the rail in shallow right. Omar Infante ends the inning with a legitimate web-gem sliding catch at the rail.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 8th: 0-0</strong><br />
Ryan Madson overpowers Nate McLouth (4-3 groundout), Alex Gonzalez (fly to center) and Rick Ankiel (pop to short).<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 8th: 0-0</strong><br />
Facing Jonny Venters, Chase Utley draws his second HBP of the night, but is erased on Ryan Howard’s double-play grounder.<br />
The left-handed Venters pitches carefully to Jayson Werth , knowing that another left-handed hitter follows in Raul Ibanez. <br />
Venters walks Werth and falls behind Ibanez 2-0, before firing a fastball on the outside corner. Ibanez takes the laser to the right-field corner, and Jayson Werth starts thinking home plate.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: NO CRYING IN BASEBALL</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">In the classic film, A League of their Own, Rockford Peaches manager Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) brings his left-fielder to tears because she repeatedly missed the cutoff man at third.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Tonight, Atlanta left-fielder Nate McLouth brings Bobby Cox to tears by missing cutoff man Alex Gonzalez at third and allowing Jayson Werth to score the first run of the night</span></strong>.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 9th: PHI 1 – ATL 0</strong><br />
Brad Lidge hangs a slider to Freddie Freeman, but the rookie flies softly to right-field.<br />
<br />
Lidge then sends Infante off-balance with a better slider, and the second baseman flies to center.<br />
<br />
Following a walk to Jason Heyward, Lidge falls behind Martin Prado 3-2. But Lidge fools Prado with another slider, and Jayson Werth squeezes the final out.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final score: Phillies 1 – Braves 0</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Magic number to clinch NL East title: 4</strong><br />
<br />
Can the Phils clinch against the Mets this weekend?<br />
<br />
Stay tuned . . . <br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
On paper, the Phillies appear to be in outstanding shape to take game two of their pivotal series against the visiting Braves, as Roy Halladay goes for his 20th win.<br />
But the Phils have won 8 straight and games are not played on paper. Expect more playoff tension at 10th and Pattison.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
The Braves know as well as anyone that Roy Halladay has experienced some fatigue during September, resulting in a 4.79 ERA and numerous home runs allowed.<br />
This should be an advantage for a Braves team that leads the league in batters walked and pitches taken.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">From his seat on the Phillies bench, the Lefty Knight continues honing his mind bending skills.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "Halladay is vulnerable early."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Omar Infante: <em>"Halladay will throw a first-pitch cookie."</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Infante grounds Halladay's first pitch - a 91-mph sinker - to Wilson Valdez for an easy out.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "You can't take pitches all night."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Jason Heyward: <em>"I can wait . . . I can wait . . . I GOTTA SWING!!!"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Heyward grounds a 1-1 fastball softly to Ryan Howard for the second out.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "You can't lay off the change-up."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Martin Prado: <em>"This change-up is going YARD!!!"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Prado grounds weakly to Placido Polanco to end the inning.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Sith Lord Cox: "Weak-minded Fools!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
Desperately needed to win, the Braves bring a double-whammy to the mound. Mike Minor is not only a rookie - which makes him dangerous for Phillies hitters - but he's also left-handed.<br />
<br />
Shane Victorino, batting right-handed, pops a 1-1 change-up to short<br />
Placido Polanco sends a wicked liner to center-field, but the ball hangs up for Rick Ankiel in shallow center.<br />
Chase Utley works a 2-2 count and drills a fastball to center for a single.<br />
Ryan Howard works the same count and gets the same pitch, producing the same result.<br />
<br />
Sith Lord Cox sees a weak-mind of his own to bend . . .<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "You get more runs if the ball travels further . . ."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Jayson Werth: <em>"I'm gonna hit a FIVE-RUN HOMER!!!"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Swinging from his heels, Werth sends a Nitro Zone fastball 500-feet . . . into the sky. Martin Prado waits . . . and waits . . . and waits until the ball falls to earth. End of inning.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: <em>"I sense the Dark Lord is near . . ."</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
Raul Ibanez fouls off three 3-2 pitches before grounding out to second.<br />
Pitching 1-1 to Carlos Ruiz, Mike Minor misses the inside target of Brian McCann. But Ruiz misses his spot on the belt-high fastball and flies softly to left.<br />
Super-sub Wilson Valdez keeps his hands back and smacks an opposite-field single to right. <br />
Roy Halladay takes advantage of an E.L. Fudge cookie and singles past Infante at second.<br />
<br />
As Wilson Valdez breaks for third on the 1-1 pitch to Victorino, Hamels takes on a stronger minded Atlanta foe.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "Roy Halladay has blazing speed."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Brian McCann: <em>"I'd better throw to first to keep Halladay honest . . . WHAT AM I THINKING???"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Slick fielding Derrick Lee keeps the game scoreless with a Jedi-like wave of his glove to snare McCann's ill-advised throw. Victorino then ends the inning with a weak grounder to short.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: 0-0</strong><br />
Bobby Cox cannot conjure enough mind tricks to keep Mike Minor's pitch count down as the game enters the third. <br />
Placido Polanco works a leadoff walk, and Chase Utley follows with a wicked single to right.<br />
Ryan Howard protects the outer half of the plate, and scolds a liner to right-field. But Jason Heyward manages to corral the ball for the first out.<br />
Jayson Werth comes to the plate with a chance to ammend for his first-inning failure.<br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "You must swing even harder - the ball will fly further"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "Stay within yourself, trust your own stength."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Werth: <em>"My head hurts! Make these voices stop!"</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "You hate the pain! Swing at the voices! Swing at the former teammate sticking out his tounge!"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "Melody from the Miami Hooters likes patient guys with short swings!"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Werth: <em>"MY GIRL!!! I'll swing short for you BABY!!!"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Mike Minor leaves a fastball over the plate, and Jayson Werth drives it to perfection. The ball arcs high and deep into the left-center field seats for a 3-run homer.<br />
<br />
Lord Cox is enraged.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "Young Hamels has acquired great skill in the Force. But he cannot bend every player and umpire at once!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
After Werth's home run, the Phils re-load the bases on an Ibanez double, a intentional walk to Ruiz and an error by third baseman Martin Prado on a slow roller by Wilson Valdez<br />
<br />
Roy Halladay, who has acquited himself well at the plate for a career American Leaguer, hopes to help his cause with the bases juiced and one out. Home plate umpire Mark Kellogg watches Cristhian Martinez's next pitch soar out of the strike zone.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Kellogg: "That isn't even close. I must call a ball."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "The pitch painted the inside corner; you'll call a strike."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Kellogg: <em>"That pitch painted the inside corner; I'll call a strike."</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Halladay and Shane Victorino strike out to end the threat.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 5th: PHI 3 - ATL 0</strong><br />
Leadoff hitter Alex Gonzalez bloops a weak fly toward right field. Jasyon Werth can't quite charge in quickly enough to make the catch.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "The score is tied; you must make the catch."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Werth:<em> "I must dive for the ball."</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Werth slides in vain and allows the ball to skip past for a double. Rick Ankiel singles to move Gonzalez to third, where he scores easily on Eric Hinske's fielder's choice grounder.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 6th: PHI 3 - ATL 1</strong><br />
Martin Prado fights off an inside fastball from Halladay for a leadoff single. Roy Halladay catches too much of the plate with 2-1 fastball, and Brian McCann sends a deep fly to the right field wall. Jayson Werth tracks it well and gets ready record the first out.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "The ball is too high! You'll need to jump to reach it!"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Werth: "Melody will dig this leaping catch on ESPN!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
Werth jumps up when he should step a foot to his left, and the ball falls just beyond his glove for a double. The Braves have runners at 2nd and 3rd with no outs.<br />
<br />
Cole Hamels realizes what that Lord Cox has victimized his friend Jayson for the third time. In anger he is tempted to take on Cox directly. But an echoing voice gives him pause:<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Jamie Moyer: <em>"Violence will not this battle win . . . use the Force at the right moment."</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Derrick Lee sends a fly ball to center to score Prado easily from third base. Brian McCann has seen Shane Victorino many times in NL East play and knows the Hawaiian has a tremendous arm.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "Shane Victorino throws like a girl. You can walk to third."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">McCann: <em>"Lord Cox will be so proud that I moved up a base - WHAT AM I THINKING???"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
The mortified catcher slides and stops five feet short of third base. The ball has been in Polanco's glove for about ten minutes, and Polly tags out the Atlanta catcher.<br />
<br />
Bottom 6th: PHI 3 - ATL 2<br />
The Braves pull Mike Dunn from their endless supply of bullpen flame-throwers. The left-hander easily retires Polanco and Utley before walking Ryan Howard. Jayson Werth's bid for two HRs falls about ten feet short as he settles for a single off the left-field wall.<br />
<br />
Left-handed Raul Ibanez stands in against Dunn, hoping simply not to embarass himself.<br />
<br />
Cole Hamels suddenly feels great power from the Force.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "Dunn will throw a 94-mph fastball inner-half."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Dunn: <em>"I think I can get this guy with a 94-mph fastball inner-half"</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Ibanez: <em>"No way he gets a 94-mph fastball past me on the inner-half"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Ibanez scolds Dunn's 2-2 fastball into the right field corner. Howard scores easily, but Jayson Werth has to cross three bases.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "Melody digs how your hair flies when you run!"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Werth: "<em>HEY BABY!!! CHECK OUT MY FLYING HAIR"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">At 9:19 PM EST, the happiest Caveman in the world sprints across home plate to give the Phils a 5-2 lead.</span><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: PHI 5 - ATL 2</strong><br />
Wtih the bases empty and two outs, the Braves send Freddie Freeman to pinch hit for reliever Peter Moylan.<br />
Roy Halladay tries to stop laughing at the name, but a chuckle escapes as he releases a first pitch fastball.<br />
<br />
The fellow with the cartoon-character name sends Halladay's gift into the Phillies bullpen beyond right-center for his first major-league home run.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Freeman: "My Lord - I am forever indebted to you for making Halladay throw me that cookie!"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "Roy Halladay long ago learned to resist the Dark Side - that was an honest mistake. Besides, I was taking my Geritol while you were batting."</span></strong><br />
<br />
Ryan Madson comes in to pitch a scoreless eighth, and Brad Lidge collects his second save in as many nights to cap the Phils 5-2 win.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final score: Phillies 5 - Braves 2</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Magic Number to clinch NL East title: 6</strong><br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Pre-game:<br />
An already tense mood surrounding the Phillies-Braves series morphed into the bizarre as scheduled Atlanta starter Jair Jurrgens was scratched in favor of rookie rightnader Brandon Beachy, who compiled a 5-1 record with a 1.73 ERA record at the AA and AAA levels.<br />
While Jarrgens has baffled the Phils over the past two seasons, basically any pitcher whose name begins with ROOKIE has the potential to stifle the Phillies. Take Florida's Adalberto Mendez, who brought a 1-8 minor league record to Citizens Bank Park on Labor Day and tossed 6 shutout innings before leaving the game with a groin pull.<br />
Cole Hamels (11-10, 3.01 ERA), who has shown the ability to dominate in the spotlight, takes the ball for the Philles.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: RETURN OF THE LEFTY</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Looking above a model of Citizens Bank Park on a table in the war room of the rebuilt Douche Star, Imperial Commander John Scherholz complains to Sith Emperor Bobby Cox as Imperial fleet apporaches South Philadelphia.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Scherholz: "This Citizens Bank Park plays like a Band Box. Our rookie pitcher will be heading to slaughter against those savage hitters."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "If young Beachy surrenders himself to the Dark Side of the Force, no harm will come to him."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Scherholz: "You and your silly religion make me sick! You're sending the rookie into that fortress un . . .ACCCHHKKK . . .ACCCHHKK . . .</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">The Emperor raises his sand and clenches his fist as Scherholz begins floating off the floor.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "DO YOU DARE DOUBT THE POWER OF THE FORCE IN MY PRESENCE???"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Scherholz: "I . . . accchhkk . . .mis-spoke . . .sir . . .aaccchhhkk"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox: "You're lack of faith digusts me.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox lowers his hand and Scherholz collapses to the floor, hyperventilating.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cox then brings his hands to his face and blows softly upon the model of Citizens Bank Park on war room table.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<em><strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Cole Hamels enters the Phillies bullpen to begin his pre-game warm-up tosses.</span></strong></em><br />
<br />
<em><strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "Man, it sure got windy here all of a sudden!"</span></strong></em><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Hamels delivers a clean first inning, allowing only an infield single to Jason Heyward.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
After a Victorino pop-out, Polanco crushes a 1-1 fastball to the gap in left center. But a strong head-wind allows Matt Diaz - a platoon player who kills the Phillies - to go into web-gem mode for a sliding catch.<br />
Chase Utley rips an opposite-field liner, but the wind also kills this liner as Diaz makes a more routine running catch to end the inning.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
In typical Braves fashion, Derrick Lee fouls off three two-stirke pitches before slapping a single to left.<br />
<br />
The Naked Emperor notes that Hamels got away with a hanging change-up that could have been a home run.<br />
<br />
Hamels' next pitch is a 93-mph in the Nitro Zone. All-Star catcher Brian McCann has hit plenty of those into the seats over the years, but this one luckily smacks the right-field wall about five feet from the top. The RBI double gives the Braves a 1-0 lead.<br />
<br />
Matt Diaz slaps a single past a drawn-in Wilson Valdez to move McCann to third.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">The Lefty sees the runners around him and tight strike zone authored by home plate umpire Mark Carlson and looks toward the sky . . .and grieves for the departed Lefty Master Jamie Moyer.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels: "I can't do it Charlie . . . I can't do it alone"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">The voice of Charlie Manual echos around Hamels</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Manual: "Jamie-he done-he's-you know-done always gonna-well-when you-you know-with you"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hamels summons the courage to strike out Alex Gonzalez and jam Melky Cabrerra into an inning-ending double play.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>Bottom 2nd: ATL 1 - PHI 0</strong></span><br />
With Ryan Howard leading off, Beachy leaves a fastball on the inner-half. In August that pitch is missed or grounded to second base. But in September, Ryan Howard scolds a double into the right-field corner.<br />
After a Jayson Werth fly out and a Raul Ibanez grounder, Howard is on 3rd with two outs.<br />
But Beachy allows his first major league run when Carlos Ruiz crushes a hanging curve into the left-field corner to tie the game.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 5th: PHI 1 - ATL 1</strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Frustrated by his team's inability to solve Brandon Beachy - and the relentless wind - through four innings, Lefty Knight Cole Hamels decides to use the Force.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">As Shane Victorino sends a high Beachy changeup toward Braves Rookie of the Year candidate Jason Heyward, Hamels stares intently toward the distant rightfielder.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Hamels: "The wind will knock it down."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Heyward: <em>"The wind will knock it down."</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Hamels: "The ball won't hook right."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Heyward: <em>"The ball won't hook right."</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Hamels: "You don't have to reach further."<br />
Heyward: <em>"I don't have to reach further."</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
To the delight of the sold-out Citizens Bank crowd, Heyward first circles, then short-arms the routine line drive off the tip of his glove; allowing Victorino to sprint to third.<br />
<br />
Placido Polanco sends a grounder to short. Going on contact, Victorino hesitates long enough to get himself thrown out by Braves shortstop Alex Gonzalez.<br />
<br />
But the Hamels feels the Force once more.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Hamels: "You can't beat the runner home."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Gonzalez: <em>"I can't beat the runner home."</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Hamels: "You should take the sure out at first."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Gonzalez: <em>"I should take the sure out at first."</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Victorino crosses home and Polanco is credited with an RBI.</span><br />
<br />
Chase Utley lines a single to center, and tries to steal second on Braves All-Star Brain McCann. Martin Prado short arms McCann's throw, allowing Utley to move to third. Raul Ibanez grounds softly to short, allowing Utley to score for a 3-1 lead.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">The Sith Emperor Cox mutters to himself in the Braves dugout.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">"The Force is strong in this one."</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 6th: PHI 3 - ATL 1</strong><br />
Cole Hamels quickly retires Omar Infante on a fly ball to Werth. But a walk to Heyward brings Martin Prado to the plate as the potenital tying run.<br />
With the count 2-2, Hamels leaves a 92-mph fastball middle-in. Prado sends a rocket toward the left field foul pole.<br />
<br />
Hamels stares at the soaring ball and stares intently: the ball suddenly hooks harmlessly about 20-feet foul.<br />
<br />
Prado sends a hard grounder to Chase Utley, who joins with Wilson Valdez to complete a sweet 4-6-3 double play.<br />
<br />
Cole Hamels goes on to complete eight innings for the Phils, allowing just the second inning run on six hits and striking out six.<br />
<br />
Brad Lidge then comes in to pitch a perfect ninth inning for his 24th save of the season.<br />
<br />
Final score: Phillies 3 - Braves 1<br />
<br />
Magic Number to clinch the NL East: 8<br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
Pre-game:<br />
For the second straight day, the Phils will start a right-handed pitcher with historical stuggles against the Nationals. Joe Blanton (7-6, 5.00 ERA) enters the contest with a career 6.45 ERA against Washington.<br />
More encouraging is Blanton's 3.50 ERA and 4-1 record over his 12 starts since the All-Star break.<br />
<br />
Top 1st:<br />
Blanton starts out strong - striking out Danny '1-2-3 strikes your out' Espinosa with a sweet change-up. He then shatters Ian Desmond's bat for a 1-3 groundout before blowing away Ryan Zimmerman with a 90-mph fastball at his armpits.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GONG PIGEON PRESENTS: NON-SEQUITR</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Joe Blanton blows away Ryan Zimmerman</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
The Phils will be tested against another Hispanic righthander, Yunesky Maya ,with terrible stats (6.53 ERA)but the funky kind of style that has given them fits throughout the Charlie Manual era.<br />
Ryan Zimmerman gifts the Phils a scoring chance when he fires an off balance throws past Adam Dunn on Chase Utley's 2-out grounder.<br />
Following a semi-intentional walk to Ryan Howard, Jayson Werth grounds weakly to short on a hanging curve ball to end the inning.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
The Phils mount another threat when Raul Ibanez walks, moves to second on a balk and moves to third on Brian Schneider's infield single.<br />
Wilson Valdez comes up with a runner at 3rd and no outs. Valdez has been often compared to Jimmy Rollins over the past week, and he does a great Rollins impersonation here as he jams himself on a 1-0 88-mph fastball.<br />
<br />
Jimmy Rollins leaps off the bench and screams to Manual . . ."Put me in coach! I'm ready to play . . . today!!"<br />
<br />
Joe Blanton manages to fail on three bunt attempts for the second out. Like Valdez before him, Victorino jams himself - this time on a hanging curve - and flies out harmlessly.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: 0-0</strong><br />
The baseball gods take revenge on Joe Blanton and the Phillies for failing to score in the home second, as Willie Harris blasts a hanging two-strike changeup into the right-field seats.<br />
<br />
<strong>Botton 3rd: WSH 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
After Polando flies weakly to right, Chase Utley works a 3-2 count. But on a bright sunny afternoon, Utley somehow fails to pick up Maya's 78-mph curveball. The result is T-ball dribbler to mound for an easy out.<br />
Ryan Howard works a 3-2 count of his own, before jumping at a hanging 72-mph curve for another easy out.<br />
<br />
Bottom 4th: WSH 1 - PHI 0<br />
Jayson Werth opens the inning in CroMagnon mode as he muscles a bat-handle liner into center field for a single. Raul Ibanez drops a beer-league softball swing on a 2-1 curve and guides it through the hold past second base, sending an alert Jayson Werth to 3rd.<br />
<br />
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: NON-SEQUITR (2)<br />
Alert Jayson Werth<br />
<br />
Junesky Maya reached the fourth inning scoreless by avoiding the Nitro Zone on every pitch of the afternoon.<br />
When Maya finally leaves Napalm over the plate, Brian Scheider is ready and sends a double off the center field wall to score Werth and Ibanez.<br />
<br />
Top 5th: PHI 2 - WSH 1<br />
The Nationals threaten as Mike Morse and Pudge Rodriguez hit singles off of Cowboy Joe. But with runners at the corners and two outs, the ever-dependable Danny '1-2-3 strikes you're out!' Espinosa waives through a fastball to retire the side.<br />
<br />
Bottom 5th: PHI 2 - WSH 1<br />
Maya starts the fifth by thumping a fastball off Polanco's waist.<br />
Following a fly-out by Chase Utley, Ryan Howard is called out on an 'Evil Knevil' curveball that jumps the strike zone. Fortunately, Polanco is running on the pitch and steals second base. <br />
The Brain scores easily when Jayson Werth lines a single to right field.<br />
<br />
Top 6th: PHI 3 - WSH 1<br />
The Nationals threaten once more an Ian Desmond single and an Adam Dunn walk put runners on first and second. Blanton gets the second out when Roger Bernadina pops out, and gets Mike Morse into a 1-2 count.<br />
But the stubborn right-fielder fights off a pair of fouls and is rewarded with a cookie sprinkled with Napalm. Morse blasts the cripple into the seats behind Jayson Werth.<br />
<br />
Top 7th: WSH 4 - PHI 3<br />
With the Phils trailing in what looked like a sure victory just ten minutes earlier, Charlie Manual brings Danys Baez in to pitch the seventh inning.<br />
But after two easy outs, Baez sends some 93-mph Napalm toward Danny '1-2-3 strikes you're out'. Espinosa avenges his Going Pigeon nickname with a solo HR to extend the Washington lead.<br />
<br />
Top 8th: WSH 5 - PHI 3<br />
With the Phils trailing in what looked like a sure victory just twenty minutes earlier, Charlie Manual brings J.C. Romero in to pitch the eighth inning<br />
But after two easy outs, Romero surrenders a double to Roger Bernadina, an intentional walk to Mike Morse and an RBI single to Willie Harris.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: FAIR WEATHER FAN</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">4:42 PM - The past 60 minutes have not been kind to Don Pigeon.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">First, the Braves rallied from a 2-1 7th inning deficit to defeat the NY Mets and cut the Phils NL East lead to 2.5 games.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Then Joe Blanton goes into Apocalypse Now mode and gives up a 3-run home run to Mike Morse that puts the Phils behind to the Nationals.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Next, the Minnesota Vikings lose 14-10 to the Miami Dolphins to knock Don out of the 2010 Suicide Pool at his office. Little Pigeon is going to have to wait a while for that car when he turns 16.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">As Placido Polando steps to the plate to begin the Phillies ninth, Don takes a break from sports to bring his daughter to a movie matinee.</span></strong><br />
<br />
Bottom 9th: WSH 6 - PHI 3<br />
Drew Storen comes in to try and close a getaway win for Washington.<br />
Between pitches, close-ups reveal that Storen resembles a young Brad Lidge.<br />
While Don is driving his daughter to the movies, the Bus Lady notices this and remembers that Washington torched Brad Lidge a month ago for a Saturday night walk-off win.<br />
<br />
Placido Polanco leads off with a ground single to left. Chase Utley follows with an opposite-field double in the left-field corner.<br />
This is promising, but remember, the Phils began the seventh inning with a pair of hits by Polanco and Utley, only to see Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth struck out to kill the threat.<br />
But after getting Howard to chase a high 95-mph fastball, Pudge Rodriguez forgets to call for a curve ball. Storen's 0-1 fastball comes in at the knees, which is Nitro Zone for a left-handed bat. Howard smashes a liner to center to score Polanco and Utley.<br />
<br />
With the score 6-5, Jayson Werth represents the game-winning run.<br />
<br />
The battle is very long and very satisfying <br />
<br />
94-mph high, 93-mph low, 94-mph fouled back, 83-mph high/inside, 94-mph fouled off, 84-mph fouled off<br />
94-mph fouled back . . .<br />
<br />
Somewhere in Chester County, a Phillies fan and his daughter park at a movie theater as Jayson Werth battles Drew Storen.<br />
<br />
With the film about to start, Don shuts off the Philies game and heads toward the box office.<br />
The cell phone in his pocket rings . . .<br />
<br />
Bus Lady: "Well, it's a 6-5 game now<br />
Don: Yeah, I know . . . Werth was still batting when I parked . . . what did he end up do - <br />
<br />
94-mph: 425-FOOT WALK OFF HOME RUN<br />
<br />
Bud Lady: Oh My God, they won! Werth just hit a homer.<br />
<br />
So easy - a CAVEMAN could do it!!!<br />
<br />
Final score: Phillies 7 - Nationals 6<br />
Final score from Flushing: Braves 6 - Mets 3<br />
<br />
Magic number to clinch the NL East: 10<br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
The Phillies send Kyle Kendrick (9-9 4.85) to the mound against Washington righthander Jordan Zimmerman (0-1, 5.29), who is recovering from Tommy John surgery. Earlier in the day, the Braves edged the New York Mets by a 4-2 score as Philly's favorite Apopka famer Billy Wagner collected his second straight save at Citi Field.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Kyle Kendrick enters the contest with a .319 batting average allowed to left-handed hitters and a 7.06 career earned run average against the Washington Nationals.<br />
In other words, Kendrick doens't need to huff Fear Toxin to get stressed against this bunch.<br />
Leadoff hitter Danny Espinosa lines an 0-1 pitch to center for a single. Ian Desmond takes a funky inside-out swing at a high 0-1 fastball and lines an opposite-field triple to right that socres Espinosa.<br />
<br />
Pitching coach Rich Dubee comes out to pay a visit to Kenrick.<br />
<br />
<em><strong><span style="color: blue;">Dubee: "What's the matter son? I thought that Phantic doll was helping with those terror attacks."</span></strong></em><br />
<em><strong><span style="color: blue;">Kendrick: "Well . . .um . . .the Phanatic is great! I sleep real good when curl up with him under the covers with my Roy Halladay nite-lite turned on."</span></strong></em><br />
<em><strong><span style="color: blue;">Dubee: "OK, well the Braves already won today so we need you to give us a chance tonight, you know. The Braves are coming in and - Kyle can you stand still? You look like you're about to pee your-</span></strong></em><br />
<em><strong><span style="color: blue;">KYLE! Did you forget to pee before you went out to the bullpen for warmups?</span></strong></em><br />
<em><strong><span style="color: blue;">Kendrick: "Um . . . my Mom packed me a Red Bull to drink before the game . . . but I was only half-done when warmups started so I chugged it . . . and I really have to pee BAD!! Can you take me out and let Vance Worley pitch now?</span></strong></em><br />
<em><strong><span style="color: blue;">Dubee: "No son. You filled your bladder and now you have to deal with it like a man. Get me three outs and I'll make sure the guys take their time batting so you can go pee."</span></strong></em><br />
<br />
The next hitter, Ryan Zimmerman, owns a .500 lifetime batting average against Kyle Kendrick Thinking outside the box, Kendrick plunks a high-inside fastball off his left shoulder.<br />
Cleanup hitter Adam Dunn represents potential disaster, but Kendrick is motivated by visions of the clubhouse urinal. He keeps Dunn off-balance with sinkers for a strikeout, than dusts Roger Bernadina with with third strike cutter.<br />
After a walk to Mike Morse loads the bases, Kendrick earns his biological break by forcing Wilson Ramos into a weak grounder to second.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: WSH 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Shane Victorino leads off with a single up the middle. The Phils lead the National League in steals during their 13-3 September, Victorino's attempt is doomed by some poor footing and a strong throw by catcher Wilson Ramos. Naturally, Chase Utley slaps a two-out single that goes to waste.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: WSH 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
With Jordan Zimmerman still regaining his strength after returning to the majors, the Phils hope to push his pitch count tonight.<br />
Jayson Werth works a 3-2 count plus a pair of fouls, before Zimmerman tries to finish him with a curve ball. But Werth puts a short swing on the ball and lets his CroMagnon strength send the ball into the left-field bleachers to tie the game.<br />
Raul Ibanez and Carlos Ruiz follow with 3-2 singles to center.<br />
Wilson Valdez comes to the plate and slams a liner into the left-field corner. Ibanez scores easily, Ruiz cruises into third and Valdez has his sights set on a double . . .<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CRIMINAL MINDS PART VI (from 9/13/10)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Special Agent Derrick Morgan has always struggled with issues of faith and the supernatural. The former Northwestern running back is examining a sock puppet in the apartment of Wilson Valdez, which he is searching with Liutennant Aaron Hochner. The Phillies jersey sewn onto this puppet is blank.</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Morgan: "So tell me again how this is supposed to work."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hochner: "When Valdez wants one of his teamates to get hurt, he simply makes up a sock puppet, reads an incantation and performs some short of abuse to the talisman to cause an injury to the player.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Morgan: "OK . . . I think I got this. I'll take this red maker . . . write the letters VALDEZ on the back of the jersey above the number 21 . . .read a little incantation - OWHATAGOOFIAM! . . .and tug a little on the left hamstring and presto! Wilson Valdez will pull his left hamstring!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
. . . but as Valdez runs over the spot just beyond first where Victorino slipped during his stolen base attempt, his left foot plants on loose dirt, causing his left leg to extend fully for a split second. Valdez gingerly jogs into second base, but keeps rubbing his left hamstring.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Hochner: "MORGAN! I know this is a joke to you, but many things in this world can't be explained by science.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Don't mess with things you don't understand!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: PHI 2 - WSH 1</strong><br />
Buoyed by Kendrick's first 1-2-3 inning of the night, the Phils continue their assult on Jordan Zimmerman's pitch count.<br />
Chase Utley draws a walk on five pitches. With the runner on first, the Nationals adjust their usual over-shift on Ryan Howard to account for a possible double-play grounder.<br />
But Howard sends the 1-1 pitch where shifts don't matter; over the left-field fence just past the outstretched glove of Roger Bernadina.<br />
Raul Ibanez, who has been guilty of over-swinging through much of 2010, decides to duplicate Howard's short swing with one out. Like Howard, Ibanez is rewarded with an opposite-field home run out of Bernadina's reach.<br />
After Ruiz comes within five feet of his own opposite-field home run, Wilson Valdez brings his tender hamstring to the plate. The reserve shortstop slaps a base-hit past the first base bag, and easily legs out his second double of the game. Valdez ends the inning on second base, but Phillies fans are thrilled nonetheless.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: PHI 5 - WSH 2</strong><br />
Kyle Kendrick responds to Rich Dubee's 'tough love' sermon by pitching six full innings; allowing just two runs on six hits.<br />
Chad Durbin enters the game in the seventh and promptly walks pinch-hitter Willie Harris. Durbin then recovers to strikeout Alberto Gonzalez for the first out.<br />
Danny Espinosa looks at strike one, two pickoff attempts, and strike two before swinging and missing at strike three.<br />
Thinking that the rules of baseball have been changed to four strikes for this one plate appearance, Espinosa and manager Jim Riggleman argue the matter briefly with home plate umpire Angel Hernandez.<br />
<br />
This may be the second dumbest moment I've seen from a baseball player at Citizen's Bank Park this season.<br />
<br />
<em>Mr.Werth - would you care to tell us what 2010's DUMBEST moment might be?</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 8th: PHI 5 - WSH 2</strong><br />
Ryan Madson pitches his was into trouble by issuing one-out walks to Adam Dunn and Roger Bernadina. The mercurial set-up man shatters the bat of Mike Morse, but with Wilson Valdez moving toward third base as Placido Polanco fields the ball, the third baseman has nowhere to throw the baseball.<br />
Madson escapes disaster when Raul Ibanez makes a nice play on Wilson Ramos' liner to left for the second out. Madson then blows away Willie Harris to end the inning <br />
<br />
<strong>Top 9th: PHI 5 - WSH 2</strong><br />
Brad Lidge gave Phillies fans - at least sentient ones - a reason to worry on Wednesday night as he allowed three walks and a single against the five Marlin batters he faced.<br />
But Lidge appears to be in command tonight, as Kevin Mench pops a 1-0 pitch to Ryan Howard, Danny "1-2-3 strikes you're out" Espinosa sends a weak grounder to Chase Utley, and Ian Desmond sends an even weaker grounder to Lidge.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final score: Phillies 5 - Nationals 2</strong><br />
<strong>Final score from Flushing: Braves 4 - Mets 2</strong> (Thanks for NOTHING Mets!!!)<br />
<br />
Magic Number to clinch NL East: 11 games<br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pre-game:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Phils regained a bit of pride last night with a 3-2 win over the Florida Marlins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The win snapped a five-game losing streak, which included a three-game sweep by the Mets in which the Phils did not score a run.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Roy Halladay (6-3, 2.22 ERA) looks to recover from last Sunday’s 8-3 pounding by the Boston Red Sox, while the Phils bats will again be tested against Florida phenom Josh Johnson (5-1, 2.43 ERA)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As he prepares to blog a game that he witnessed nearly four months ago, Don Pigeon rubs his eyes and recalls how he ended up here.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>THE POWER OF LOVE</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">9/16/10 6:00 PM – Chester County PA</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Another day of Fixed Asset accounting has ended, and as he walks to his car through a steady rain, Don Pigeon is relieved that his beloved Phillies are not playing baseball tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He contemplates the notion actually eating with his family, helping his son with homework and watching some TV with his wife.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">But Don’s plans change when he sees his car resting on four slashed tires.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the rain begins to soak through his clothes, Don pulls a note from his windshield.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">“Your blog is retarded and you are a jackass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t ever post your @#$% on the internet again!”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 1<sup>st</sup>: 0-0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Halladay runs a 3-2 count on Chris Coghlan before striking him out with a fastball on the outside corner.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Gaby Sanchez (why exactly is his name spelled with just one ‘b’?) flails helplessly at a 2-2 curveball.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hanley Ramirez works a 3-1 count before watching a 92-mph fastball sail six inches outside.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Strike two.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ramirez then swings at ball five and grounds softly to Chase Utley for the final out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Home plate umpire Mike DiMuro is calling the inside corner, the outside corner and the knee-high stuff for strikes.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With a strike zone that big – Roy Halladay just might be unhittable tonight.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Furious and indignant, Don screams aloud:</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">“I’m never going to stop blogging!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if no one reads it, I’ll keep writing it just to PISS YOU OFF!!!”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Suddenly, Don hears the scream of a rice-burner engine at red-line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Angered by the hater’s note, he never noticed the yellow 1989 Mazda Miata facing him across the empty lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His inattentiveness could prove fatal . . .</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 2nd: 0-0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jorge Cantu runs a 3-1 count, but Halladay induces a foul tip and an empty swing to record the strikeout.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dan Uggla is victimized by a pair of filthy curveballs, one taken and one missed, and becomes Halladay’s fourth strikeout victim.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cody Ross hacks at a first-pitch sinker and grounds softly to third base to end the inning.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Leaping at the last instant, Don hears the Miata roar past and smash broadside into his sedan.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Clutching his laptop for dear life, Don begins running toward the only other car in the massive parking lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a DeLorean that has been sitting idle for six months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Supposedly it belongs to someone in the labs department – a chemist who tests vials for leaching.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Terrified, Don watches the blog hater pries the Miata loose from the wreckage of his sedan. Choosing survival over his co-worker’s property, Don tugs on the DeLorean handle and ducks as the door swings just past his head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He closes the door and glances at the Miata which is crossing the parking lot aimed straight at him.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">“SON OF A . . . “</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don interrupts his oath by slamming on the dashboard of the DeLorean, and is shocked to see the instrument panel light up and the engine roar to life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a second to spare, Don floors the gas and pulls out of the space as the Miata screams harmlessly past.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Top 3<sup>rd</sup>: 0-0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The inning opens with Chris Wheeler asking Tom McCarthy; “What’s a Chewbacca?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wheeler may be the only person alive in 1977 who has never seen the most defining film of my generation. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">McCarthy: “Star Wars was kind of a cult movie; not many people saw it.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The repartee gets better . . . Wheeler confesses his allegiance to Davy Crockett, noting that title character Fess Parker had recently passed away.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wheeler:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You know; born on a mountain top in Tennessee?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">McCarthy: “Did he DIE on a mountain top in Tennessee?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wilson Valdez interrupts the hilarity by dunking a one-out single to center for his second hit of the night.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chase Utley then drops the bat-head on a low change up and sends a line drive to center.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This should be a routine play for centerfielder Cameron Maybin, but the rookie misreads the ball and then mistimes his catch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ball clanks off the top of Maybin’s glove and rolls to the fence, allowing Valdez to sprint home with the first run of the game.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The play is correctly ruled E-8</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">With his life in the balance, Don decides his only hope is to reach the PA Turnpike and get a State Trooper to notice his peril.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He flies through the EZ-PASS lane it at 60-mph.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A glance at the rear-view mirror shows the Miata gaining quickly despite severe front-end damage.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">A peek at the driver reveals a male, perhaps college-age, clumsily aiming<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>. . . A ROCKET LAUNCHER??? toward the DeLorean.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Merging onto the eastbound Turnpike, Don slams his right foot to the floor and begins to pray . . .</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 3<sup>rd</sup>: PHI 1 – FLA 0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pinch-hitter Brett Hayes pops a 1-0 fastball to Chase Utley.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybin, who gifted the Phils with their 1-0 lead, lifts a 1-0 fastball to center.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shane Victorino and Jayson Werth nearly collide, but the Caveman peels off at the last instant.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Halladay blows pitcher Josh Johnson away to end the inning and the first rotation of the Florida lineup.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">The speedometer climbs . . . 75 mph . . . 80 . . .</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don checks the rear-view and sees the rocket has launched and is streaking toward his back bumper . . .</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">85 . . .</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">A blinding flash suddenly fills the DeLorean windshield.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Figuring the rocket has reached struck the car, Don thinks of the wife, daughter and son that he will never see again. . .</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">But instead of a fatal explosion, Don hears a blast of static from the previously unnoticed AM radio.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">“This Sue Schilling with a WIP sports update . . . in just about 90 minutes the Flyers will take to the ice against the Chicago Blackhawks in Game One of the Stanley Cup Finals . . .</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don thinks to himself, “Did I just die and go to Philly Sports Heaven?”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">He then notices the odd display just above the radio console.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It shows an odd date and time:</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">5/29/10 – 6:30 PM</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 4<sup>th</sup>: PHI 1 – FLA 0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chris Coghlan grounds an 0-1 fastball sharply to second for the first out in the fourth.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Gaby Sanchez lines a fastball to center-field.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Victorino reads the ball perfectly for the second out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hanley Ramirez battles Halladay, sending a wicked liner into the Phillies bullpen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he watches a 93-mph fastball at the knees for a called third strike.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">12 batters up – 12 batters down.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">“And in Miami, Roy Halladay takes the mound for the Phils as they continue their weekend series against the Marlins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Halladay will be opposed by right-hander Josh Johnson; first pitch slated for 7:05.”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Suddenly realizing that he is driving well over 100-mph, Don taps the brakes and notices that the sky is brighter and the turnpike is bone dry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He glances at the surrounding traffic and sees no sign of the blog-hater and his yellow Miata.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don directs the DeLorean toward the King of Prussia exit so he can turn back toward home.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 5<sup>th</sup>: PHI 1 – FLA 0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jorge Cantu grounds sharply toward the hole at second.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chase Utley reacts nicely, cutting the ball off and gunning down Cantu at first.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Uggla works a 3-2 count, but gets jammed on a fastball and lifts a can-of-corn to Victorino.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Halladay splinters Cody Ross’s bat with a 93-mph fastball, and Ryan Howard gobbles up the weak grounder to end the inning.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">15 Marlins have batted and none have reached base.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">As much as Don wished he had created the Going Pigeon blog before this game was played, he has reason for concern.</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">He sure doesn’t want to relive moment of family drama from the past four months.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Suddenly, Don recalls a huge dispute over dishes he forgot to wash before his wife returned home from visiting her aunt on May 29.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He runs downstairs and washes the dishes – drying his hands just as his wife pulls into the driveway.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Hey! Thanks for doing those . . . I was sure you would forget!</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 6<sup>th</sup>: PHI 1 – FLA 0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Brett Hayes flails at a change-up for strike three.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carlos Ruiz drops the ball, but calmly grabs it and fires to first for the out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cameron Maybin works a 3-1 count, and then sends a slow hopper toward Wilson Valdez, who is playing short for the injured Jimmy Rollins.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Valdez has perhaps the best arm on the Phillies, and uses it to gun down Maybin by a fraction at first base.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Josh Johnson connects with a Halladay fastball, but the ball flies straight to Raul Ibanez for the final out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Just as Don begins jotting notes on every preventable misstep he can remember over the past four months, he hears the shrill bark of Sophie, the Pigeon’s West Highland Terrier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then he hears a familiar, angry voice:</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">“I’VE BEEN COMING INTO THIS HOUSE FOR TEN YEARS AND THAT STUPID DOG STILL DOESN’T KNOW ITS ME!!!”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">The sound of his own voice reminds Don of something he saw during a 1980’s movie . . . you must NEVER meet yourself during a time-travel experience!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The consequences will be . . . CATASTROPHIC!!!</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Don 9.16.10 panics as he hears Don 5.29.10 climb the stairs and open the door to the Cave of Insanity . .</i> .</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 7<sup>th</sup>: PHI 1 – FLA 0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chris Coghlan once again looks at a third-strike fastball on the outside corner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It appears to be a strike, and Mike DiMuro is calling everything close.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Gaby Sanchez works a 3-2 count; the fifth time Halladay has faced ball three.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Halladay throws a gutsy 3-2 curveball, which Sanchez sends to left field for the second out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hanley Ramirez works yet another 3-2 count.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Halladay’s fastballs are now reaching 94 and 95 mph.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 3-2 pitch paints the inside corner at 92-mph for his ninth strikeout.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don 9.16.10 grabs his laptop and scrambles underneath the bed as Don 5.29.10 enters the master bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He holds his breath as his parallel self rummages through the cluttered room, clearly looking for something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don 5.29.10 (to himself): “Where on earth did I do with that laptop?”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Suddenly remembering that he did some Saturday work at the office on 5/29, Don 9.16.10 takes a bold risk . . .</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don 9.16.10 (Whispers softly): “Oh no – I think I left the thing at work!”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don 5.29.10; “SON OF A B- I must have left the thing at work!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m such an Idiot!”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don 9.16.10 hears his parallel self stomp angrily down the stairs and grab his car keys off the kitchen nook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hears his wife scream from the laundry room “Where are you going?”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don 5.29.10: “I left my laptop at work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll be back in about 45 minutes.”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 8<sup>th</sup>: PHI 1 – FLA 0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jorge Cantu leads off the Florida eighth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 1-0 pitch nearly hits Cantu, but the proud slugger hops away rather than take a cheap base off his nuts.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cantu smashes a grounder toward third baseman Juan Castro, who is also filling in for an injured Phillie starter – Placido Polanco.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Castro lunges quickly to his left to snare the ball and fire Cantu out at first.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every perfect game has a bail-out defensive play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Juan Castro has just provided one.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With the count 2-2 on Dan Uggla, Halladay fires a 94-mph laser on the outside corner for strike three.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cody Ross ends the third inning with a weak pop-up to Wilson Valdez.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Roy Halladay is three outs from immortality.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don knows that he can’t get away with another move like that, but he also knows that Roy Halladay is a fast worker and the game should end just in time for him to escape in the DeLorean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will never get to blog another perfect game, and he is determined to bring it home.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bottom 9<sup>th</sup>: PHI 1 – FLA 0</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Marlins send left-handed pinch-hitter Mike Lamb to lead off the ninth inning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lamb crushes a 2-1 fastball to dead center.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At Citizens Bank Park, that ball is a home run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium, it is a long and loud out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cameron Maybin is called back to the dugout in favor of former Phillie and frequent Phillie-killer Wes Helms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The former third-base butcher watches a 93-mph fastball paint the inside corner for strike three.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ronny Paulino is the last pinch-hitter standing between Roy Halladay and history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With the count 1-2, Halladay throws a change-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paulino slaps a dangerous grounder to third, but Castro ranges to his left, rotates to aim correctly and fires a strike to Ryan Howard to end the game.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Don ignores his wife’s surprised shout (I thought you left a long time ago!) as he runs out the door with his keys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He slams the dashboard of the DeLorean and makes his way back to the Eastbound PA Turnpike.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">He adjusts the date-time setting of the dashboard to 9/16/10 – 4:45 PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He punches the accelerator and watches the speedometer climb to 88 mph.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">After the sky flashes and turns suddenly rainy, Don happens upon an FM station playing “Another Way to Die” by Disturbed.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">Inspired by the metalcore band, Don remembers that Little Pige left a box of nails in the trunk of his sedan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As after pulling the DeLorean into its original space, Don fetches the nails and places them into a vacant parking space.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: blue;">As he climbs into his own sedan, Don watches a yellow Mazda Miata pull into the vacant space and immediately puncture all four tires.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
The Phillies enter Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium knowing that the Alanta Braves have lost - at home - to the Washigton Nationals for the second straight day.<br />
All the Phils need to extend their NL East lead to 3 games is for Roy Halladay (18-10: 2.44 ERA) to outpitch Jorge Sosa (2-2: 5.82) and the current occupants of the Marlins bullpen - many of whom appeared on the NBC series Geeks and Freaks back in 1999.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Sosa retires Shane Victorino and Placido Polanco to start the game, then issues walks to Chase Utley and Ryan Howard.<br />
Mired in a 1-for-43 slump with RISP and two outs, Jayson Werth walks toward the batter's box as he recalls a conversation with Cole Hamels at lunch on the way to the Stadium.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: #741b47;">Hamels: "Check it, Jayson . . .your problem is that you're trying too hard. A wise friend once told me . . ."Do or do not; there is no try!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: #741b47;">Werth (conversing with the Hooters waitress): "Actually Melody, I use Herbal Essence on both my hair and my beard - now you're sure you're 18? I don't want to have another misunderstanding like back at Spring Training."</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: #741b47;">Hamels: "FOCUS, Jayson! We need you to produce in the clutch if we want to hear Chase Utley swear at the victory parade in November. Stop trying and just hit the baseball!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: #741b47;">Werth: "OK . . .just as long as the pitcher doesn't stick his tounge out at me - I forget where I am when pitchers do that!"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
As Werth grips his bat and stares down Jorge Sosa, a distant voice echoes in his head<br />
<br />
<em>"Do or do not; there is no try!"</em><br />
<br />
With the count 2-2, Werth sees Sosa release a tailing sinker off the outside corner. Years of experience tell Werth to take the pitch and force the count full.<br />
But the distant voice returns . . .<br />
<br />
<em>"You must unlearn what you have learned . . Swing now!"</em><br />
<br />
With more of a poke than a swing, Werth connects with the outside sinker and slaps an opposite-field single to right. Utley scores on the play and the epic streak of futility is broken.<br />
<br />
Raul Ibanez hears no voices tonight, but he sees a hanging change-up and slams a two-run double to the track in left-center.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: PHI 3 - FLA 0</strong><br />
Roy Halladay has heard the murmers of reporters who feel that fatigue is taking it's toll on the Phils ace. After Emilio Bonafacio legs out an infield single, Logan Morrison steps in to face Halladay.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CLASH OF THE TITANS PART I</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Traffic snarls around greater Miami as the Worlds Greatest Hitter in the World faces the Worlds Greatest Pitcher in the World.</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>That's not true - there is no traffic snarl because nobody in Miami gives a crap about the Florida Marlins.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>But on Mount Olympus, the Gods are gathered around the flatscreen watching MLB Extra Innings</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Change-up: fouled</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Fastball: called strike inside corner</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Change-up: swing and miss - strikeout</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Bonafacio eventually moves to second on a Hanley Ramirez groundout and scores on a Dan Uggla single, but Halladay doesn't care because he took round one against Morrison.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: PHI 3 - FLA 1</strong><br />
Jorge Sosa is pissed as the third inning begins. He was led to believe by manager Edwin Rodriguez that he would have to pitch two innings at most; maybe only one if he ran into trouble.<br />
But Sosa has thrown 49 pitches over his first two innings. With his right arm burning, the journeyman hurler begins the third inning with a belt-high Napalm fastball to Chase Utley.<br />
The ball streaks well above the fence just inside the right field foul pole.<br />
<br />
A walk to Howard and a one-out single by Ibanez bring up Carlos Ruiz. The catcher sends a hard, but routine grounder to Chad Tracy: who forgets to field the baseball while deciding what base to throw to.<br />
<br />
With the bases loaded and one out,Wilson Valdez draws a 2-2 count as Sosa seethes visibly. Sosa shatters Valdez's bat with a change-up, but the ball floats over short for an RBI single.<br />
<br />
Following the hit, which came on Sosa's 69th pitch of the night, Rodriguez pulls his beleaguered starter from the game.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: BETWEEN THE LINES</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">As Sosa and Rodriguez re-enter the dugout, the pitcher can't resist the temptation to tap his manager on the shoulder.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Rodriguez instinctively turns and is met a fist across his left cheek. Minutes later, as his throbbing jaw rouses him back to conciousness, the manager thinks to himself: "Yeah . . . I deserved that."</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: PHI 6 - FLA 1</strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CLASH OF THE TITANS PART II</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">After striking out Jose Seda and Emilio Bonafacio to start the 3rd, Halladay sets to battle Logan Morrison once more.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Round two goes to Morrison quickly, as TWGHIW smacks a single past Halladay's ankles.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">The clash is now even at one round apiece.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Morrison has now reached base in 35 straight games.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Back on Mount Olympus, Zeus quietly mutters under his breath: "Well done, my son."</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>Bottom 5th: PHI 9 - FLA 2</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CLASH OF THE TITANS PART III</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Roy Halladay has labored through the first 4 innings against the Marlins, but with a huge lead the righthander only cares about one opposing hitter.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Logan Morrison steps in for the third time, and Halladay fires a first pitch strike before fooling the Marlins rookeie with a filthy change up.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Halladay ends the clash by fooling Morrison with a sinker that is grounded weakly to Utley at second.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">HALLADAY 2 ROUNDS - MORRISON 1</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">As a dejected Zeus walks out of the Olympian Sports Bar, a pale fellow with red tatoos slams him against the parking garage wall.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Kratos, the newly crowned God of War, adresses Zeus in a low growl.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">"I believe you owe me $500"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>Bottom 9th: PHI 10 - FLA 4.</strong></span><br />
After pulling his struggling strater after six innings, Charlie Manuel nurses the game into the final frame with Chad Durbin and Ryan Madson.<br />
With a six-run lead, Manuel assigns Brad Lidge the task of clinching the crucial victory for the Phils.<br />
But Lidge is unable to locate his fastball, walking Morrison, Dan Uggla and Gaby Sanchez to force in Bonafacio (leadoff single).<br />
Jose Contreras puts out the fire without further damage, and the Phils enjoy a happy flight to Washington D.C. But with Lidge ineffective in his first back-to-back appearance since his 'hyperextended elbow' last weekend, there seems to be new reason for Phillie fans to be concerned in 2010.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final Score: Phillies 10 - Marlins 5</strong><br />
<strong>Final Score from Atlanta: Nationals 4 - Braves 2</strong><br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
Cole Hamels (10-10, 3.06) takes the ball for the Fightin Phils against Marlins farmhand Adalberto Mendez.<br />
Mendez has started just one major league game - and it was against the Phils on Labor Day.<br />
In the matinee of a day-night doubleheader, Mendez bamboozed the Phils using only two pitches: an average fastball and a mediocre slider. The rookie allowed just 1 hit in 6 innings.<br />
The Phils owe this punk a beat-down tonight.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Realizing that Mendez is nothing special, Shane Victorino and Placido Polanco start the game by slamming a pair of meat fastballs for base hits.<br />
Polanco sends his pitch to the warning track in left-center, scoring Victorino easily.<br />
The Phils rally ends there as Chase Utley jams himself on a high-outside fastball, Ryan Howard is robbed on a tremendous play by Dan Uggla and Raul Ibanez dives after an outside sinker and grounds out.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: NON-SEQUITR</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Tremendous play by Dan Uggla</span></strong><br />
<br />
Bottom 1st: PHI 1 - FLA 0<br />
With two strikes, Marlin leadoff hitter and pest Emilio Bonifacio fights off an outside change-up and is rewarded with a dunk single over 2nd.<br />
<br />
As <strong>The World's Greatest Hitter in the World,</strong> Logan Morrison, brings his .304 batting average to the plate, Chris 'The Naked Emperor' Wheeler dons his Captian Obvious Cape.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Wheeler: "Bonifacio is fast . . .once he gets a good jump it's hard to catch him."</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Pigeon: "Ferraris are fast . . .once they get a head start it's hard to catch them."</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
I haven't ripped the Emperor in over a week. . . it felt good.<br />
<br />
Ryan Howard snares Morrison's grounder and makes a nice throw to second to force out Bonifacio.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: THE OTHER PLACE</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: red;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Watching the game on MLB Extra Innings, Satan watches (1) the Phils retire Logan Morrison and (2) Ryan Howard complete a 3-6 force-out on the same play. Feeling a chill in his apartment, he peeks out the window at the thermometer on the Eternal Lake of Fire National Bank across the street.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">34 . . .33 . . .32 degress farenheit.</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: red;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">The Prince of Darkness mutters to himself: 'I hate when this happens!" and grabs a snuggli so he can resume watching the game.</span></strong><br />
<br />
Hanley Ramirez crushes an outside fastball to right. Cole Hamels paces the mound trying to remember where he left his accruate fastball. Dan Uggla dinks a 3-0 change-up through the spot Ryan Howard vacated to hold Ramirez on first - resulting in an RBI single and a tie ballgame.<br />
<br />
As he mourns the demise of his 25-inning scoreless streak, Cole Hamels begins to have flashbacks of his disasterous 2009 season. Pacing the mound at Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium, Hamels suddenly hears a voice from the recent past . . . 8/13/10, to be precise.<br />
<br />
<em>"Do, or do not . . .there is no try!"</em><br />
<br />
Unsure where that random piece of wisdom came from, Cole Hamels induces Gaby Sanchez to fly out to right, then freezes Mike Stanton with a 93-mph fastball to end the inning.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: PHI 1 - FLA 1</strong><br />
With one out and his Phils offense slipping back into their inexplicible coma against Adalberto Mendez, Cole Hamels hears the odd voice again as he steps to the plate.<br />
<br />
<em>"You must unlearn what you have learned."</em><br />
<br />
As if guided by a presence greater than his own, Cole Hamels closes his eyes as Mendez winds up to throw the 1-1 pitch. Hamels never sees the 92-mph fastball, but he times his swing perfectly and scolds a single past Uggla for a single.<br />
<br />
But Victorino and Polanco refuse to surrender their instincts and are retired to end the inning.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 5th: PHI 1 - FLA 1</strong><br />
Inspired by his otherworldly guidance, Cole Hamels begins to dominate the Marlin hitters; striking out 2 in the 2nd inning, 2 in the third and 3 in the fourth.<br />
<br />
But the Phillie hitters are again dazed and confused by the pedestrian skill of righthander Adalberto Mendez.<br />
<br />
Shane Victorino leads off the fifth by blasting a double that one-hops the wall in right-center. Polanco follows with a walk.<br />
The numbers on Mendez at this point should be impossible: 37 balls and 38 strikes, 1 run allowed on 4 hits<br />
<br />
Once thing helping Mendez tonight is Chase Utley, who interrupts a fine September with a brutal night at the plate. He sends a can of corn to right for the first out. <br />
After Ryan Howard draws a walk, Marlins manager Edwin Rodriguez decides to pull Mendez in favor of submarine reliever Burke Badenhop.<br />
The strategy works . . . sort of. Jayson Werth bounces a feeble grounder to Wes Helms at 3rd, but Victorino is too fast to risk a 5-2 force-out, and scores on a fielders choice.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 7th: PHI 2 - FLA 1</strong><br />
Regarded by many blue-collar Phillies fans fragile and weak-mended, Cole Hamels begins the Marlin seventh with 11 strikeouts on 107 pitches. The mercurial lefthander outalsts pinch-hitter Hector Luna in a nine-pitch dual that ends with a strikeout, then makes Bonifacio strikeout victim 13.<br />
Hamels gets to a 2-2 count on Logan Morrison, but eventually succumbs to a walk - after all, Morrison is the WGHITW.<br />
Charlie Manuel takes the ball at this point and the gathering (this cannot be honestly called a crowd) made up of 80% Phillies fans gives the lefthander a standing ovation. Hamels ends the night allowing 1 run on 5 hits, 2 walks and 13 strikouts.<br />
Like Ryan Madson: it would appear the Cole Hamels has 'done growed up'.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 9th: PHI 2 - FLA 1</strong><br />
Cole Hamels has given way to the Phils bullpen, and while Chad Durbin and Ryan Madson have (barely) kept the Marlins off the board, two runs does just does not feel like enough to win tonight, especially with Brad Lidge coming off his mysterious elbow injury.<br />
<br />
Jayon Werth can make life easier for everyone if he would just get a hit with two outs and runners on first and second . . .but Clay Hensely strikes him out.<br />
<br />
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: MATH AND THE CAVEMAN<br />
Werth's strikeout makes him 6-for-62 on the season with 2 outs and runners in scoring position.<br />
<br />
For some perspective: here's Werth's key batting stats:<br />
.288 batting average - 507 at-bats - 146 base hits - 73 walks - .379 on-base percentage<br />
<br />
When there are NOT 2 outs and runners in scoring position:<br />
.331 batting average - 445 at-bats - 140 base hits - 65 walks (estimated) - .402 OBP (est.)<br />
<br />
All joking aside: Werth might do better closing his eyes with 2 outs and RISP.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 9th: PHI 2 - FLA 1</strong><br />
Brad Lidge comes in for the first time in 8 days with a one-run lead at Florida. Not a good scenario, but Lidge is equal to the task as he retires the side in order to seal the win.<br />
As an exclamation point, Lidge gets TWGHIW to send a can-of-corn to Victorino for the final out.<br />
<br />
Final score: Phillies 2 - Marlins 1<br />
<br />
Final score from Atlanta: Nationals 6 - Braves 0<br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
The Phils take a 1-game lead into Miami for a three game series against the Marlins.<br />
Joe Blanton looks to continue his looong climb to respectibility against Florida lefthander Andrew Miller, who the Phils tagged for 7 earned runs in 4 innings.<br />
Miller's splits include a .545 opposing batting average against left-anded hitters.<br />
Looks like another night of beer-league softball between the Phils and the Fish.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Andrew Miller couldn't locate a breaking ball to save his life last week.<br />
It looks like Miller practiced, or something, because his off-speed pitches key a 1-2-3 inning tonight.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
Joe Blanton gets off to a strong start, retiring Emilio Bonifacio and even the Great Logan Morrison on grounders.<br />
Hanley Ramirez strokes a routine line-drive to left. It should be the third out, but falls in for a hit becuase Raul Ibanez is playing somehwere in suburban Jacksonville.<br />
Dan Uggla draws a walk to make things interesting, but Blanton locks Gaby Sanchez with a filthy curve to end the inning.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
While Jayson Werth scored plenty on South Beach during the Phils last visit to Miami, he was scoreless on the baseball diamond going 3-for-15 with 7 strikeouts.<br />
Looks like Werth layed off the nightclubs this time around, as he strokes his first ever hit against Miller over the right-field fence.<br />
Two batters later, Wilson Valdez bats as Chris Wheeler and Tom McCarthy sing his praises<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CRIMINAL MINDS PART IV (continued from 9/8/10)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">After hours of interrogation, Nate Robinson is released from Philadelphia Police Headquarters due to a lack of evidence.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">As Special Agent Emily Prentiss tries to grab a cat nap on the B.A.U. jet en route to Miami, she is jolted by her cell phone.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">FBI Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia is on the line.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Garcia: "Prentiss! I hope you haven't eaten because I got some disgusting news!</span></strong>"<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: "I was too tired to eat . . . by the way you woke me up."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Garcia: "The crime lab here figured out that the fecal matter on the sock puppet-"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: "REALLY, Garcia?"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Garcia: "-stay with me girlfiend - it contained traces and ground beef and A-1 sauce."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: "So you woke me to say the unsub ate a hamburger before he took a crap."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Garcia: "Wait for it . . .the only fast-food joint in Philly that serves burgers with A-1 sauce is Checkers. And the crime techs found a Checkers wrapper in one of the player lockers!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: "So our unsub is Joe Blanton?"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: PHI 1 - FLA 0</strong><br />
The Jayson Werth home run seems to have shaken the meager confidence of Andrew Miller. The Phils are collecting base hits but Miller keeps recording timely outs to keep the score 1-0.<br />
But no amount of timely pitches can defend against the Napalm that Miller tosses to Utley with 2 outs in the third. The ball lands about 25 rows back in the right field seats.<br />
<br />
A smiling blonde shows Utley's home-run ball to her brunette companion.<br />
<br />
"These Miami Heat pre-game shows are LONG, but they're kind of fun!"<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 4th: PHI 2 - FLA 0</strong><br />
Andrew Miller entered the game with only two home-runs allowed in 2010.<br />
The Phils enter the fourth inning having already doubled that total.<br />
Panamanian native Carlos Ruiz can recognize an explosive substance as well as anyone, and sends Miller's next ball of Napalm into the blue seats at Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium.<br />
<br />
Sounds like the makings of a Billy Joel song.<br />
<br />
Raul Ibanez (walk) scores ahead of Ruiz to make the score 4-0.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 5th: PHI 4 - FLA 0</strong><br />
The Florida Marlins are no friend of the Atlanta Braves, and as they become aware that the Braves are pounding the visiting Nationals, they decide they have nothing better to do that aid their erstwhile rivals from Philly.<br />
<br />
Chase Utley gets picked off first base, but Gaby Sanchez is too busy checking the NY Jets on his fantasy football team to bother thowing to second base.<br />
<br />
Andrew Miller than walks Ryan Howard before allowing Werth to dunk a single to left. Logan Morrison, who owned the Phils at Citizens Bank Park last week, is distracted when Joe Flacco - his fantasy quarterback is sacked by the Jet defense.<br />
<br />
Morrison grabs Werth's hit but sneaks a peek at his IPhone and heaves the ball into the Phillies dugout, allowing Howard to score behind Chase Utley.<br />
<br />
Carlos Ruiz continues his ownership of JRPPDLS Stadium with an RBI single to score Werth.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CRIMINAL MINDS PART V</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Penelope Garcia gathers herself after her collegue's snide remark.</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Garcia: "You leave my sweetheart Joe out of this . . . the locker with the Checker' wrapper belonged to Wilson Valdez!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Special Agent Spencer Reed becomes engrossed in the phone converstation and cuts off his Facebook chat with Pheobe from the Game Stop store outside of Qunatico.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Reed: "There is motive here. Wilson Valdez has been a journeyman infielder his entire career. Now he's with a championship contender where's he just one pulled hamstring away the starting lineup."</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: "Reed . . . there have been 17 Phillie players on the disabled list this year. Surely Wilson Valdez can't be repsonsible for all of the injuries?"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Garcia: "OMG! Guys . . . I just pulled up Valdez's work records from back in the Dominican Republic - his family struggled to make ands meet and he used to help his mom . . . sow sock puppets!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: Garcia! Get Hoch and Morgan! They need to get to Valdez's apartment NOW!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">TO BE CONTINUED . . .</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Unlike last Wednesday's nail-biter victory over Miller and the Fish, the Phils don't allows nerves to enter the picture. The Phils add 3 runs in the sixth and 1 run in the seventh. <br />
Cowboy Joe Blanton finishes 6 strong innings the the Marlins never draw closer than the final score of 11-4.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final score: Phillies 11 - Marlins 4</strong><br />
<strong>Final score from Atlanta: Braves 4 - Nationals 0.</strong><br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
The Phils are sending Roy Oswalt against Jonathon Niese.<br />
Niese brings a 3.85 ERA into the game, including 2 earned runs in 12 innings against the Phils in two starts.<br />
In other words - to paraphrase Richie Ashburn - 'Somebody's hitting against him!"<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Shane Victorino (ground single), Placido Polanco (walk) and Chase Utley (RBI single) get the first inning off to a promising start for the Phils. But with runners at 1st and 3rd and the heart of the Phils order on deck, Niese realizes what he fogot to do in the Mets clubhouse.<br />
<br />
The Mets rookie catches the toss-back from catcher Josh Thole and slips off his infielders mitt. Niese then pops open a ring that he wears at all times - and utters an odd phase:<br />
<br />
"The Secret compartment in my ring I fill . . .<br />
. . .with an Underdog Energy Vitamin Pill!<br />
<br />
After slamming down the pink tablet, Niese feels a burst of power and adrenalin. He blows away Ryan Howard with 91-mph heat, then dazzles Jayson Werth and Raul Ibanez with 87-mph cutters.<br />
K . . .K . . K and the side is retired.<br />
<br />
As Niese skips back to the Mets dugout, he sings softly to himself . . .<br />
<br />
When my Mets are in trouble, I am not slow . . .<br />
For it's hip-hip-hip and away I go!!!<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: PHI 1 - NYM 0</strong><br />
Niese fears that his Energy Pill may be wearing off as Placido Polanco smokes a double to the gap in center. Chase Utley taps a soft grounder to second for the second out, but Ryan Howard slaps a single up the middle to score Polanco.<br />
<br />
Niese opens his ring again, only to see that the secret compartment is empty.<br />
<br />
My pills are gone - I can't save the earth!<br />
Why am I worried? It's just Jayson Werth!<br />
<br />
Niese flutters an 0-2 curveball, and Werth chases it like a puppy chasing trash truck.<br />
K - to end the inning.<br />
<br />
Incidently, Roy Oswalt is mowing down Mets like he wants to get home for Sunday night football between the Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 5th: PHI 2 - NYM 0</strong><br />
Roy Oswalt isn't the only Phillie rushing so he can catch some opening day NFL football.<br />
With no one on and two outs, Placido Polanco swings at a high first-pitch fastball.<br />
<br />
Oswalt: "Yo, Polly! Could you let me get a little rest?<br />
Polanco: "No way, baby! Gotta get me some Eagles-Packers at 4:15. I got Aaron Rodgers as my fantasy quarterback!"<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: PHI 2 - NYM 0</strong><br />
Jonathan Niese is feeling tired. The game is still within reach, but he somehow misplaced one of his energy pills. He prepares to face Raul Ibanez to start the inning - and conjures a rhyme.<br />
<br />
"I'm starting to sweat and feel some chills. . . <br />
I'll need some help to beat the Phils!<br />
<br />
Niese has enough strength to push a fastball past Ibanez, but his next offering is at Raul's knees - which is Nirto Zone for a left-handed bat.<br />
<br />
Carlos Beltran made a lot of Phils fans rejoice when he face-planted the Citizens Bank Park fence last month. Today, the centerfielder breathes a sigh of relief as Ibanez's laser streaks over the fence.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 9th: NYM 3 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Roy Oswalt enters the 9th inning having thrown 104 pitches. His third pitch to Jose Reyes is smashed off his right calf, resulting in a single for Reyes and 500,000 stopped hearts across Phillies Nation.<br />
<br />
As trainer Scott Sheridan and manager Charlie Manual fumble through rosaries in hopes that Oswalt is not the latest victim of the Bobby Cox Voodoo Curse of 2010, Roy Oswat spots a pink tablet of some sort on the Citi Field mound alongside the rosin bag.<br />
<br />
He swallows the tablet and a rhyme pops into his head:<br />
<br />
"I don't care what the trainer says . . <br />
I'll be all-right 'cause I LOVE PEZ!!!<br />
<br />
Empowered by Jonanthon Niese's misplaced Underdog EngeryVitamin Pill, Oswalt jams Angel Pagan into a 1-6-3 double play and blows away Carlos Beltran on a 94-mph laser beam to end the game.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final score: Phillies 3 - Mets 0</strong><br />
<br />
Braves to host St. Louis later tonight.<br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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An off day and a busy Friday night kept me off the keyboard for 48 hours, but it's a fine Saturday for baseball and a little Eminem . .<br />
<br />
GUESS WHO'S BACK . . .<br />
<br />
BACK AGAIN . . .<br />
<br />
PIGEON'S BACK!<br />
<br />
TELL A FRIEND!<br />
<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
The Phils have a few obstacles to face today if they want to push their winning streak to 5 games.<br />
1 - They have to somehow conjure a quality start out of Kyle Kendrick: which is possible since Citi-Field is the last place where KK resembled a major league pitcher.<br />
2 - The Phils have the misfortune of playing in NYC on September 11. That's some serious Karma to overcome. I have to admit - this is one day that I despise the NY Mets just a little . . .bit . . . less.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
After Shane Victorino crushes a fly ball that Angel Pagan runs down in the right-center gap, Placido Polanco drops a ball perfectly on the right-field line for a double - WHAAAAATTTT??? The ball is called foul - the baseball sized divot on the foul line is attributed to aliens from the Men In Black movie.<br />
Karma, anyone?<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
With two outs and Jesus Feliciano (single) on first, Kyle Kendrick pulls out his travel size Fear Toxin inhaler and walks right-handed slugger David Wright on four pitches.<br />
Ike Davis brings some hefty power stats and a .259 batting average to the plate. But he also brings a left-handed swing, which against Kendrick adds about .150 to Davis's average. The new math works in New York's favor as Davis scores Feliciano with a liner to the RF corner.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: NYM 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Feeling guilty about stealing an RBI against the helpless Kendrick, Ike Davis tries to atone for his larceny by gifting a one-out rror to put the Geico Caveman on first. Left fielder Lucas Duda joins his teamate in the giving spirit by failing to call off Jose Reyes on Raul Ibanez's routine pop-up. But Brian Schneider bails out the Metropolitans by rolling a taylor-made 3-6-3 double play to Davis.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Bottom 3rd: NYM 1 - PHI 0</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WIRED FOR SOUND</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Kyle Kendrick: "Um, Mr. Reyes? My mom made some of the toll-house cookies, and um, I think you're a really good player and all, and um, I wonder if maybe um, you might want one.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Jose Reyes: "My MAN!! Hook me up with one of those!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Reyes lauches Kendrick's mom's best toll-house cookie into the second deck of cavernous Citi Field. </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Jose Reyes: "HEY KYLE! TELL YOUR MOM THANKS FOR THE COOKIE! AND FOR LAST NIGHT!!!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>Top 4th: NYM 2 - PHI 0</strong></span><br />
With a chance to drive in teammate Chase Utley with two outs and boost his Free Agent profile on FOX as the announcers discuss his earning potential, Jayson Werth dribbles a tee-ball grounder to Reyes for an inning-ending forceout.<br />
<br />
When Werth opens his locker after this game, the following message will be waiting on his cellphone<br />
<br />
<em>From: Scapegoat</em><br />
<em>To: Geico</em><br />
<br />
<em>You do know that the shadows have reached the mound AND home plate, right Jayson?</em><br />
<em>Keep it light - Milt T.</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 5th: NYM 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Nothing of note happens here, except for an odd discussion between FOX announcers Matt Vasgersian and Tim McCarver.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: FALLEN IDOL</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">When I was growing up in the 1970's, I loved catcher Tim McCarver. He always caught Steve Carlton and provided a steady and occasionally clutch bat for the contending Phils teams of Danny Ozard and Dallas Green.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">But Tim McCarver went into broadcasting after his career and convinced himself that he INVENTED THE SPORT.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">I'm no Mets fan, but Tim McCarver's suggestion that Citi Field should shorten it's fences for the sake of offense TO HELP THE METS is sheer lunacy.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">The only reason the Mets were a factor in the NL East race through the All-Star break is because of great pitching and small-ball hitting. If the fences at Citi Field are shortened, the Mets will lose what I think is their biggest home-field advantage. Surely a FORMER CATCHER knows better than to suggest otherwise.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Rant off.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 6th: NYM 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Kyle Kendrick gives the Phils 5 innings of solid if not spectacular work, and is rewarded with a seat on the bench as Greg Dobbs looks at strike three to lead off the inning.<br />
I mean - I'm not a baseball expert or anything, but I think Kyle Kendrick could have looked at a two-strike pitch on the inside corner. <br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 6th: NYM 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
After three pitching changes and two pinch-hitters, the Mets load the bases with one out. Jose Contreras gets pinch hitter Luis Hernandez to send a short fly ball to Werth in right. David Wright tags up on the play, but Geico makes a good throw home - where Brian Schneider makes a better tag to end the inning.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: NYM 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
With Chase Utley (HBP) and Raul Ibanez (bloop single) on base and two outs, Brian Schnieder should be looking fastball inner-half with the count 2-0 in his favor.<br />
Well, he gets the 2-0 fastball inner-half and belt-high. How he pops out to Jose Reyes behind shortstop I'll never know.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 7th: NYM 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Jose Contreras retires the first two batters easily, and then the September 11 Karma strikes the Phillies hard.<br />
Jesus Feliciano - bloop single to center<br />
Angel Pagan - line drive that Raul Ibanez plays into single plus error.<br />
David Wright - intentional walk<br />
J.C. Romero in to pitch:<br />
Romero starts Ike Davis - remember, he entered the game with a .259 batting average - with three balls out of the strike zone.<br />
And I mean way, way out of the strike zone. I've come closer to sleeping with Meghan Fox than Romero came to throwing a strike on those pitches.<br />
Romero reaps what he sows when Davis slaps a two-run single up the box to extend the Mets lead to 4-0.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 8th: NYM 4 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Blame it on 9/11 or Citi Field or day baseball, but the Phils have been unable to hit Mike Pelfrey this afternoon.<br />
But with one out in the eighth, pinch-hitter Ross Gload makes an important discovery.<br />
Realizing that Pelfrey IS NOT Bob Gibson, Gload smokes a towering one-out double to the warning track in right-center.<br />
Realizing that Pelfrey IS NOT Bob Gibson, Shane Victorino scorches a single to score Gload.<br />
Realizing that Pelfrey IS NOT Bob Gibson, Jerry Manuel pulls him for Mike Parnell.<br />
<br />
Placido Polanco continues the rally with single past Luis Hernandez to put runners at first and second.<br />
But Gerry Manuel brings in lefty Pedro Feliciano to bamboozle Chase Utley into a fielder's choice grounder to second.<br />
Ryan Howard - who had nothing to show for crushing three balls earlier in the game - dunks a Texas League single to center to score Victorino and Polanco.<br />
<strong>WE HAVE A BALLGAME!</strong><br />
<br />
Not so fast! Righthander Manny Acosta comes in to face Jayson Werth. Since there are two outs, the caveman is retired on a 96-mph fastball at his eyebrows.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 9th: NYM 4 - PHI 3.</strong><br />
Hisanori Takahashi recently told a reporter through an interpreter that he doesn't throw hard enough to be a true closer.<br />
Naturally, Raul Ibanez lines out to left on a fastball that registers 93-mph according to FOX.<br />
Nick Evans - who replaced strating LF Lucas Duda - makes a nice sliding catch on the ball. IIronically, banez has misplayed several such hits in the past month.<br />
Mike Sweeney then sends a BOMB off the wall in left-center for a double.<br />
<br />
**Remember when McCarver said the Mets needed to move that fence in? This is further proof that - for Mets fans - that is a BAD idea. That ball would have been gone almost anywhere else.<br />
<br />
Wilson Valdez bids for an infield hit, but unlike J.C. Romero, Takahashi can field his position, Valdez's groundout moves pinch-runner John Mayberry Jr. to third.<br />
But while pinch-hitter Carlos Ruiz has been dominant in many ballparks, he has sucked hard at Citi Field this season, batting just .176<br />
The Beast sends a dribbler to Wright at third, who easily fires to Ike Davis to end the game.<br />
<br />
Final score: <strong>Mets 4 - Phillies 3.</strong><br />
Final score in Atlanta: <strong>Braves 6 - Cardinals 3 (12 inn.)</strong><br />
<br />
Tied again.<br />
<br />
You really didn't think the Phils would make this easy, would you?<br />
<br />
<strong>I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!</strong><br />
<br />
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<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
Just when it looked like <strong><span style="color: blue;">Bobby Cox</span></strong> had used all of his <strong><span style="color: red;">2010 Philadephia Phillies voodoo dolls,</span></strong> the SOB finds another one . . .<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">BRAD LIDGE</span></strong><br />
<br />
This is unbelievable: Lidge finally starts to resemble a pitcher who resembles the pitcher who struck out <strong>Eric Hinske</strong> for the final out of the <strong>2008 World Series,</strong> and now he has a <strong><span style="color: red;">HYPEREXTENDED ELBOW???</span></strong><br />
<br />
Oh well! Business as usual. Adversity builds character, and this team is the <strong>1927 Yankees of freaking character!</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
By my estimation, the Phils need 7 complete innings from <strong><span style="color: red;">Cole Hamels </span></strong>to have a chance of winning this game. The first inning goes well as Hamels sets the Fish down in order.<br />
Hamels even retires <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Logan Morrison:</span></strong> <strong>The World's Greatest Hitter in the World!</strong><br />
Maybe we have a chance . . .<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
The Phils are facing another <strong>Build-A-Stiff</strong> in Marlin starter <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Andrew Miller</span></strong>, who has size and talent on his side but little else - like poise, savvy or control. He enters the game with just 15 innings pitched for the Fish after posting a <strong>minor league record of 1-8.</strong><br />
He is <strong>left-handed,</strong> however, so make no assumptions.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Shane Victorino</span></strong> guesses right on Miller's second pitch - a 91-mph fastball in the Nitro Zone - for a double to left-center.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> lines out to right field, but <strong><span style="color: red;">Chase Utley</span></strong> draws a walk to put runners at 1st and 2nd.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> goes into <strong><span style="color: blue;">pennant drive mode</span></strong> and crushes a liner toward Florida <span style="color: #3d85c6;"><strong>Mike Stanton</strong> </span><span style="color: black;">in </span><span style="color: black;">right</span>. The Phils catch a break as Stanton gets his <strong><span style="color: red;">Domonic Brown</span></strong> on and boots the ball back to the warning track, allowing both Victorino and Utley to score.<br />
The Phils miss a golden opportunity to score as Howard <strong>misplaces third base</strong> just long enough to get thrown out at home following a Rollins two-out single.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: PHI 2 - FLA 0</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> leads off by smoking a Miller fastball to the right-field fence. Stanton nearly makes a web-gem catch, but the ball spins off his mitt for a double.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Carlos Ruiz</span></strong> draws a walk, and <strong><span style="color: red;">Cole Hamels</span></strong> sends a sacrifice bunt toward third base. <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Wes Helms</span></strong> takes the opportunity to re-enact his Phillies fielding career and fires high-and-wide to first base for an error.<br />
<br />
But in typical <strong>2010 Phils fashion</strong>, the Phils manage just a single run when Victorino grounds to third to score Ibanez.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: A RETRACTION</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Typical 2010 Phils fashion would have meant no runs after bases-loaded and no-outs.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: PHI 3 - FLA 0</strong><br />
Somewhere in the Atlanta area, there is a very powerful <strong><span style="color: #741b47;">Voodoo Priestess</span></strong> who had a little too much to drink following a Braves game . . .<br />
In front of a elderly Braves fan . . .<br />
With a camrea . . .<br />
And that elderly fan is <strong><span style="color: blue;">BOBBY COX</span></strong>!!<br />
<br />
There is no other way in earth to describe what just happened. <strong><span style="color: red;">Jimmy Rollins</span></strong> finally starts to <strong>resemble a hitter who resembles the 2007 NL MVP</strong>, and then he injures his leg (calf? knee? vericose veins?) halfway between 1st and 2nd.<br />
<br />
Rollins eventually scores on a dink hit by <strong><span style="color: red;">Carlos Ruiz</span></strong>, but is forced to leave the game upon reaching the dugout.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CRIMINAL MINDS</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Deep in the bowels of Citizens Bank Park, a hispanic fellow in a Phillies jersey is furiously trying to flush an object down the toilet.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">COME ON-COME ON-COME ON!!!, the fellow shouts as he feels the familiar vibration of his IPhone 4.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">After 5 rings, he decides he needs to pick up.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">"Valdez! We need you out here. Jimmy's hurt his leg again!"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">The utility infielder dashes away from the toilet as the water starts to swirl. Seconds later, the toilet clogs and the offending item is pushed to the surface</span></strong>.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 4th: PHI 4 - FLA 0</strong><br />
Comcast Sportsnet shows three middle-aged men joyfully eating some barbecue, <strong>prepared with love</strong> by <strong><span style="color: red;">Greg Luzinski.</span></strong><br />
I'm guessing they have no idea that Rollins had to leave the game with a <strong>leg injury.</strong> <br />
I know I have <strong><em>no freaking appetitie</em></strong> right now!<br />
<br />
One thing you can say about <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard:</span></strong> when the <strong><span style="color: red;">Big Piece</span></strong> gets into <span style="color: blue;"><strong>pennant drive mode</strong>,</span> injuries to <strong>closers</strong> and <strong>MVP shortstops</strong> don't phase him. <br />
<br />
With Polanco and Utley on base, Howard ignites some <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Andrew Miller</span> </strong><span style="color: red;"><strong>Napalm</strong> </span>for a 3-run oppostive field home run.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CRIMINAL MINDS PART II</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><strong>With Vicks Vapor-Rub generously appiled to their noses, Special Agents Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reed examine the fecal-drenched object recovered in the home clubhouse lavratory at CBP.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Reed: "It would seem that someone was trying to dispose of this item."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: "You sure about that? I don't see any toilet paper on the roll - maybe the guy was just making do with what he had. What did he have, anyway?"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Reed: "It looks like some short of sack puppet - it reminds me of the dude from Little Big Planet"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: "What the hell are you talking about, Reed?"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Reed: "You know . . . Little Big Planet? The PS3 game? Game Informer PS3 Game of the Year?"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Prentiss: "You really . . . really need to find a girlfriend!"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Reed: "Funny you metioned that . . . the girl at Game Stop who sold me Little Big Planet wrote her cell number on the receipt"</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Bottom 5th: PHI 7 - FLA 0</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: black;">Phils add two more runs with the help of an infield hit by Hamels and a Gaby Sanchez error.</span><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Top 7th: PHI 9 - FLA 0</span></strong><br />
Hamels strikes out Brad Davis to end his night with 7 scoreless innings.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 8th: PHI 10 - FLA 0</strong><br />
After adding an insurance run in the home seventh, the Phils bring in newly acquired <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Nate Robinson -</span></strong> a former Marlin - to rest the back end of their bullpen.<br />
<br />
Robinson strikes out <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mike Rivera to</span></strong> start the inning, and then proceeds with his <strong><span style="color: red;">attempted homocide of the Phillies season.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Emelio Bonofacio</span></strong> lobs a single past the outstretched glove of Utley about 150-feet from home plate. Robinson then walks the invincible <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Craig Morrison.</span></strong><br />
<br />
Robinson then dominates <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Gabby Sanchez</span></strong> for five pitches. The sixth pitch . . . not so much . . . as Robinson grooves a Napalm rocket at the knees that slices a 20-mph headwind for a 3-run homer.<br />
<br />
After a walk to <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dan Uggla,</span></strong> Robinson strikes out <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mike Stanton</span></strong> for the second out. Wes Helms then reaches on a grounder as Chase Utley over-rotates while throwing to first .<br />
<br />
Robinson sends some <strong><span style="color: #741b47;">E.L. Fudge</span></strong> to <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Cameron Maybin,</span></strong> who lines a rocket into the left-field corner to score Uggla and Helms.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">David Herndon</span></strong> comes in to record the third out, but not before <span style="color: #3d85c6;"><strong>Scott Cousins</strong></span> rips a double to score Maybin.<br />
<br />
The Marlins score six runs and my dinner is coming back for an encore.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CRIMINAL MINDS PART III</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Special agents Prentiss and Reed are at Philadelphia Police Headquarters trying to identify the sock puppet evidence from the CBP crime scene.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Reed: "There's a lot of fecal matter here and the dye has bled in the material, but I think I can make out some letters: R-?-L-L-?-?-S</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Prentiss:"Hey, here's a note! </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;"><em>"The Phillies are going down! Los Braves rule!</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;"><em>Signed, Nate Robinson</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Prentiss: "I'm gonna call Agent Morgan to bring this guy in - he's got to be our unsub! He even pitched for the Marlins last year!"</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Reed: "Yeah, but it seems odd to me that a Caucasian relief pitcher from the Marlins would use te expresssion Los Braves."</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;"> . . . TO BE CONTINEUD</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 8th: PHI 10 - FLA 6.</strong><br />
During the golden age of baseball, teams would let up when they led 10-0 because old time ballparks and old-time baseballs didn't permit those kind of comebacks.<br />
<br />
The golden age of baseball is gone and the Phils enter the home eighth leading with a 4-run lead and a depleted bullpen in a shooting gallery stadium.<br />
<br />
Ross Gload tries to provide insurance, but comes up about 3 feet short with a double off the RF wall.<br />
<br />
In typical <strong><span style="color: red;">2010 Phillies fashion</span></strong>, Gload is stranded at second.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 9th: PHI 10 - FLA 6.</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Madson</span></strong> is forced to enter the game when Herndon walks <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The World's Greatest Hitter in the World </span></strong>with one out. Madson uses eight pitches to close out the Marlins and prevent countless suicides on the <strong>Walt Whitman</strong> and <strong>Betsy Ross Bridges.</strong><br />
<br />
Final score: <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Phillies 10 - Marlins 6</span></strong><br />
Final score from Pittsburgh: <span style="color: #0b5394;"><strong>Braves 9 - Pirates 3.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong>I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!</strong><br />
<br />
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Domonic Brown</span></strong> was supposed to bat 7th tonight, but he suffered a quad strain during last night's game.<br />
Might that be the reason Brown was thrown out by 10 feet in the second inning?? Hmmm<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Jayson Werth</span></strong> - who turned into a puddle when the Phils were in Florida last month - will bat 7th and play right.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
With one out, <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Logan Morrison</span></strong> - the <strong>World's Greatest Hitter in the World</strong> - comes up. Phils starter <strong><span style="color: red;">Joe Blanton</span></strong> couldn't finish his pre-game plate of <strong><span style="color: #741b47;">E.L. Fudge</span></strong> cookies, so he offers one to Morrison. Double to right.<br />
But Blanton zips the cookie bag shut by retiring Hanley Ramriez and Dan Uggla - both of whom are far more accomplished than <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">WGHIW.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
The trio of <strong><span style="color: red;">Shane Victorino,</span></strong> <strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> and <strong><span style="color: red;">Chase Utley</span></strong> allows Marlins starter <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Chris Volstad</span></strong> out of the inning on just 8 pitches.<br />
Brilliant.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Charlie Manuel</span></strong> has struggled to cure Phillie batting slumps this year, but he seems to have fixed Marlins slugger <span style="color: #3d85c6;"><strong>Mike Stanton. </strong></span><span style="color: black;">The rookie with the .246 batting average sends a double over Victorino's head in center.</span><br />
Now if he can only get opposing pitchers to lob<strong> 90-mph Napalm</strong> to <strong><span style="color: red;">Jimmy Rollins</span></strong> and <span style="color: red;"><strong>Raul Ibaez</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: black;">After an 11-pitch at-bat that <strong>lasts longer than my wife's C-section</strong></span><strong>, Cameron Maybin</strong> </span><span style="color: black;">sends </span><span style="color: black;">a lazer beam off Blanton's glove for a 1-3 grounder to first. Blanton then walks <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Brad Davis</span></strong> to get to Volstad, who grounds out to end the inning.</span><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd 0-0:</strong><br />
Using a short swing against a looping curve ball, <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard </span></strong>continues his dominance of Volstad by lining a leadoff double to left-center.<br />
Rollins follows by trying to bunt the first pitch he sees. The <strong><span style="color: red;">Naked Emperor</span></strong> takes umbrage.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>Chris Wheeler: "Rollins bunted on his own. He's in the five-hole but he's still thinking like a leadoff guy."</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>Don Pigeon: "Right, Chris. Phillie fans see more <span style="color: red;">solar</span><span style="color: red;"> eclipses</span> than Jimmy Rollins bunt attempts."</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Chris Volstad</span> </strong>must not have liked the bunt attempt either. The righthander lobs a <strong>slow change-up</strong> to Rollins as if to say; <span style="color: red;"><strong>Bunt This!</strong></span><br />
Even more amazing than the bunt attempt, Rollins takes a <strong>nice level swing</strong> and sends the cripple to the right-field corner to score Howard easily from 2nd.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: PHI 1 - FLA 0</strong><br />
Bonofocio tries to bunt for the 2nd time, and this time succeeds by sending the ball toward Rollins at short.<br />
Perhaps the Phils might want to call a <strong><span style="color: red;">high-inside fastball</span></strong> the next time Bonofacio bats?<br />
<br />
Blanton appears to retire the <span style="color: #3d85c6;"><strong>Worlds's Greatest Hitter in the World</strong></span>, but <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> has a <strong>panic attack </strong>when he realizes that he needs to <strong>throw to second base</strong>. His double-clutch and last-second throw nearly kills Joe Blanton covering first, as he is unable to maintain the ball while keeping his foot on the bag. Infield single for Morrison.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: orange;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: orange;"><strong>Philadelphia Region's</strong> <strong><span style="color: black;">Scariest Haunted Attractions</span> - as ranked by</strong> </span><span style="color: black;"><strong>Ryan Howard.</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange;">3. - Bates Motel, Lima, PA</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange;">2 - Terror Behind the Walls, Philadelphia, PA</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange;">1 - Jimmy Rollins waitng for a force throw at second base.</span></strong><br />
<strong><em>The big piece says: BOO!</em></strong><br />
<br />
The free-swinging Marlins continue their <strong>small-ball assault</strong> with a pair of sacrifice grounders and an RBI single by <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Gaby Sanchez.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 4th: FLA 2 - PHI 1</strong><br />
Blanton lobs a <strong>beer-league curve ball</strong> to <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Cameron Maybin</span></strong>, who swings from his heels and blasts a drive off the CF fence. Catcher <span style="color: #3d85c6;">Brad Davis</span> plates Maybin with a sacrifice grounder to third.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 4th: FLA 3 - PHI 1</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> keeps his hands back on a 3-1 outer-half fastball and homers to left-center. <br />
<br />
<strong>Gary Matthews</strong> notes that Ibanez settles into hitting streaks when he stops trying to pull everything.<br />
<strong><em>From your lips to God's ears, my man!</em></strong> That's been the 2010 hitting problem for the entire team!<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 5th: FLA 3 - PHI 2</strong><br />
With the Braves locked in a scoreless 6th inning tie with Pittsburgh, the Phils start dreaming of a chance to reclaim first place.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Shane Victorino</span></strong> brings that dream closer to reality when he drops the barrell on an inside change-up from Volstad for a solo HR.<br />
<span style="color: red;"><strong>Placido Polanco</strong></span> nearly gives the Phils the lead with a fly bal that <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mike Stanton</span></strong> tries to misplay in front of the RF Fence.<br />
Two batters later, <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> does the honors with an <strong>opposite-field blast.</strong><br />
<br />
Much to the chagrin of <strong>Frontrunners </strong>across the region who love to <span style="color: red;"><strong>boo Jimmy Rollins</strong>,</span> the mercurial shortstop keeps his bat level and lines a tough inside fastball to right field.<br />
Rollins ignites the crowd first by stealing second, then by <strong>scoring </strong>on an banez single.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: PHI 5 - FLA 3</strong><br />
After huffing and puffing his way though 6.1 innings, <strong><span style="color: red;">Joe Blanton</span></strong> is pulled from the game in favor of<strong> <span style="color: red;">Antonio Bastardo</span></strong> following a one-out walk to Bonofacio.<br />
But Bastardo is no match for the <strong>World's Greatest Hitter in the World,</strong> who launches a double just beyond Victorino's reach. <br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 7th: PHI 5 - FLA 4</strong><br />
The <strong>Marlin bullpen</strong> that blew a 6-1 lead in Atlanta last Sunday to keep the Braves in first place now has an opportunity to bring some love the <strong>Citizens Bank Park.</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Jorge Sosa</span></strong> is happy to oblige as he leaves a slider over the plate for a <strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> leadoff single, then sends another through the legs of catcher <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Brad Davis</span></strong> to move Polly to second.<br />
Following an Utley groundout, <strong><span style="color: red;">Jimmy Rollins</span></strong> finally hits a warning track fly ball when there's a runner on third base!<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> then continues his resurgence by slamming a triple to the gap in right center to score Howard.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 8th: PHI 7 - FLA 4.</strong><br />
About six weeks ago, when <strong><span style="color: red;">Brad Lidge</span></strong> was blowing saves in Washington, pundits began asking who should be closing for the Phils.<br />
At the time, I would say <strong><span style="color: red;">Joes Contreras</span><span style="color: red;"> </span></strong>because he was more unflappable than the <strong>supremely talented</strong> but fear-striken <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Madson.</span></strong><br />
Nights like this make me glad that Lidge has regained his form.<br />
Contreras sends <strong><span style="color: #45818e;">Mike Stanton</span></strong> some <strong>92-mph Nitro Love</strong> that soars into the left-field seats.<br />
<br />
Following a <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Brad Davis</span></strong> double, Jayson Werth's chronic <strong>brain lock</strong> resurfacees when Bonofacio grounds a single his way. Werth decides to make a fancy running lob to Polanco, who stops expecitng a throw when the slow footed Davis approaches third base. Bonofacio scores on the error.<br />
An obscure replay shows Houston righthander Brett Myers sticking his tounge out at Werth on Phanavision just before he picked up the Bonofacio single.<br />
<br />
And to think I was relieved that Domonic Brown's Little League caliber defense woudn't cost the Phils a win tonight!<br />
<br />
<br />
JC Romero enters the game and promply balks the runners up a base, then walks <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mighty Casey - err, Morrison.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">I guess that GNC supplement cost Mr. Romero a few brain cells after all!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><strong>Ryan Madson</strong></span> eventually cleams up the mess, but not before sendjng a two-strike changeup off the kneecap of <span style="color: red;"><strong>Carlos Ruiz</strong></span> to score Bonofacio with the tying run,</span></span><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 8th: 7-7</strong><br />
On a night of Marlin small-ball and Phillie home runs, the home team turns the tables when it matters most.<br />
After <strong><span style="color: red;">Shane Victorino</span></strong> lobs a single over the Marlin infield and steals 2nd base, Polanco puts a perfect opposite field swing on an outside fastball put the Phils ahead 8-7.<br />
<br />
With <strong><span style="color: red;">Brad Lidge</span></strong> unavailable due to the numerous nail-bitters over the past few week. <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Madson</span></strong> returns to the mound for the 9th inning, and gets the final three outs with a minimum of drama.<br />
<br />
In the words of our beloved Phils skipper; "<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>I think Ryan done just growed up!"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
Final score: Phillies 8 - Marlins 7<br />
Final score from Pittsburgh: Pirates 5 - Braves 0.<br />
<br />
The Phils are officially back in first place for the first time since May 30.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Hey Bobby Cox!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Yo Billy Redneck!</span></strong><br />
<br />
Objects in the rearview mirror are . . .<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">NOT THERE ANYMORE, SUCKER!!!</span></strong><br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
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The Phils turn to <strong><span style="color: red;">Roy Oswalt</span></strong> to avoid a Labor Day sweep at the hand of the Florida Marlins.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Oswalt works around a <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Logan Morrison</span></strong> single to keep Florida scoreless after the 1st. The Phils will have the rare pleasure of batting without trailing a game.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
Although the lack of thought at home plate has been the Phils biggest enemy the past two games, Manuel tries to tune up his offense by changing the order <span style="color: black;"><strong>(Victorino 1st - Rollins 5th) </strong></span>and playing <strong><span style="color: red;">Domonic Brown</span></strong> instead of <strong><span style="color: red;">Jayson Werth</span></strong>.<br />
<br />
So far, the result looks the same as <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ananbel Sanchez</span></strong> works around an Utley HBP to keep the Phils scoreless.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
Oswalt is cruisng so far, retiring <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Chad Tracy</span></strong> and <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Wes Helms</span></strong> to start the inning. <br />
But despite <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mike Stanton</span></strong> bringing a 5-for-60 horse collar to the plate with two outs, Oswalt pitches to him like he's <strong>Alex Rodriguez,</strong> falling behind him 3-0.<br />
After battling back to 3-2, Oswalt makes Stanton look like A-Rod by hanging an 83-mph change-up in his wheelhouse. The ball reaches the 2nd deck in left-center at an estimated 440-feet.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: FLA 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Strange how <strong><span style="color: red;">Jimmy Rollins</span></strong> uppercuts like a madman from the leadoff spot, but when he bats fifth he shortends his swing and lines a single.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> gets jammed on a Sanchez fastball with a 2-2 count, but for once swinging too hard pays off as he muscles the ball over second for a single.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Domonic Brown</span></strong> walks for just his second time as a Phillie to load the bases.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Carlos Ruiz</span></strong> walks to force in the tying run.<br />
After <span style="color: red;"><strong>Roy Oswalt</strong></span> flies out, Shane Victorino sends a flare to right field. Rollins scores easily, but third base coach Sam Ferlazzo channels his predecessor Steve Smith and sends Brown home to get thrown out by 10 feet.<br />
With two outs <strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> yanks a grounder over the third base bag. Ruiz scores from third and Victorino scores from second. The play becomes a ground-rule double when a <strong>middle-aged tool with a glove</strong> tries the field the ball while in play.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: LAW AND ORDER</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">You need a license to:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Drive a car</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Sell a beer</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Catch a Fish</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">You don't need a license to:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Join the military</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Have a kid</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Sit front row at a Phillies game</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Utley lines a single past short to score Polanco and complete the five-run inning.</span><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: PHI 5 - FLA 1</strong><br />
With their best inning of the homestand in the books, the Phils can just sit and watch co-ace <strong><span style="color: red;">Roy Oswalt</span></strong> pound the Marlins into submission before heading to <strong>Columbus Ave</strong> to celebrate.<br />
<br />
But after getting two quick outs, Oswalt faces the <strong>World's Greatest Hitter in the World</strong>, <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Logan Morrison.</span></strong> The WGHIW fouls off a pair of 3-2 pitches before drawing a walk. <br />
<br />
Oswalt quickly pays for the miscue when <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Hanley Ramirez</span></strong> sends a <strong>batting-machine fastball</strong> into the flower bed in left field for a two-run homer.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Top 5th: PHI 5 - FLA 3</span></strong><br />
With two outs, <strong><span style="color: red;">Roy Oswalt</span></strong> starts dreaming about <strong>Columbus Ave</strong> again and delivers another <strong>batting-machine fastball</strong> - this time to Cameron Maybin.<br />
With a .234 batting average and 7 home runs, Maybin is no Hamley Ramirez. But Napalm doesn't read fantasy baseball profiles, it just explodes when collides with Maple bats.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 5th: PHI 5 - FLA 4</strong><br />
After a weekend of hideous at-bats, <strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> remembers that he's a <strong>perennial .300 hitter</strong> and rockets a ball off the center-field fence and past the wandering Maybin for a triple.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Chase Utley</span></strong> continues the steady process of <strong>salvaging his 2010 season</strong> by smoking a single past second to score Polanco.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Gary Matthews: "The harder you hit the ball, the more likely that a pitcher will make mistakes."</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Don Pigeon: "The more mistakes a pitcher makes to major league hitters, the more times a ball will be hit hard."</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Jorge Sosa</span></strong> comes in for <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Anibal Sanchez</span></strong>, and <strong><span style="color: red;">Jimmy Rollins</span></strong> predictably pops up his first pitch.</span><br />
I'll drop it there, since the Frontrunner police have been known to patrol my neighborhood.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> dials down his <strong>swing-for-Camden approach</strong> and crushes a Sosa fastball off the centerfield wall to score Utley.<br />
<br />
The wild slugfest turns routine from this point. Oswalt finishes the 7th inning without throwing any more Napalm fastballs. <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Madson</span></strong> keeps his composure despite entering the game with no outs and a runner on in the 8th. <strong><span style="color: red;">Brad Lidge</span></strong> faces four batters and allows just a single to <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Emilio Bonafacio</span></strong> with two outs.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final Score: Phillies 7 - Marlins 4</strong><br />
<br />
I'm Don Pigeon and I'm OUT!!!<br />
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<br />
The Phils enter a dangerous Labor Day doubleheader against the free-swinging <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Florida Marlins</span></strong> with rookie righthander <strong><span style="color: red;">Vance Worley</span></strong> making the start.<br />
<br />
The Marlins counter with rookie righthander <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Adalberto Mendez,</span></strong> who brings a lusty <strong>minor league ERA of 4.00</strong> into thet contest.<br />
<br />
This looks winnable, but the Phils historically never hit rookies well.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Rookies typically have to earn respect from MLB umpires, and Worley is no expection. A first pitch ball on a perfect strike at the knees sets up a one-out walk to <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Logan Morrison</span></strong>.<br />
Worley strikes out <span style="color: #3d85c6;"><strong>Hanley Ramirez</strong></span>, but not before Morrison reaches second on a wild pitch. That miscue proves costly when <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dan Uggla</span></strong> fists a sinker into left for an RBI single.<br />
<br />
By the way; Raul Ibanez overthrows Polanco as Morrison scores, setting the stage for a Brian Schneider throwing error. <br />
Ibanez is starting to kill this team in left field.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A MARLINS ROOKIE?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Let's see how many mental mistakes Phillie hitters can make before Adalberto Mendez reaches 100 pitches!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Bottom 1st: FLA 1 - PHI 0</span></strong><br />
Mendez has two pitches: a fastball and a change-up, so the Phillie batters shouldn't have to think too terribly hard on this sunny afternoon!<br />
<br />
After <strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> popped out to right, <span style="color: red;">Shane Victorino</span> drew a four-pitch walk. <br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Chase Ultley</span></strong> swings at a well inside 1-0 fastball <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-1-</span></strong> then swings at a 1-1 fastball aimed at his collarbone <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-2-</span></strong> then swings at a 1-2 fastball at least a foot inside <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-3-</span></strong> then strikes out on a fastball HIGH and OUTSIDE <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-4-</span></strong><br />
<br />
By the way, Utley is one of the Phils smater hitters<br />
<br />
With Victorino on second with two outs, <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> looks fastball with a 2-2 count and flails at a crisp slider from Mendez -<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">5-</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: FLA 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
With the count 1-1, Worley fires a perfect strike at the knees to left-handed third baseman <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Chad Tracy.</span></strong> But home plate umpire <strong>Dale Scott</strong> is liking the high strike today so the count becomes 2-1. Not wanting to fall further behind, Worley satisfies Scott's strike zone with a <strong>belt-high fastball.</strong><br />
Scott never gets to call strike, but he does get to do that twirley thing with his finger as Tracy circles the bases.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: FLA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
After Jayson Werth flies out to the fence in left-center, Raul Ibanez looks at a fastball on the outside corner with the count 1-2. -Called strike 3. <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-6-</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: FLA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
With one out, <strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> jams himself on a high-inside fastball and pops out to second base. <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-7-</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 4th: FLA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
With one out, <strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> lunges outside on a 1-0 fastball and grounds out to 2nd. -8-<br />
With two out, <strong><span style="color: red;">Jayson Werth</span></strong> chases a 2-1 fastball aimed at his hands for strike 2. -<strong><span style="color: #990000;">9-</span></strong> He then swings through a 92-mph fastball in the Nirto Zone to end the inning. <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-10-</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 5th: FLA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> swings first pitch and sends a can of corn to center<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;"> -11-</span></strong> (He isn't the tying run - he CAN'T be swinging first pitch there; sorry!)<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 6th: FLA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> jams himself on a flat thigh-high fastball down the middle and taps out to Mendez. <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-12-</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> lines up a 91-mph Napalm fastball and sends it opposite field over the fence to tie . . .<br />
<br />
Oops, that's what <strong><span style="color: #990000;">SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED</span></strong>.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> fails to line up a 91-mph Napalm fastball and sends a can of corn fly ball to left to end the inning. <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">-13-</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: FLA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Adalberto Mendez</span></strong> addis injury to insult by hitting a one-out single to right off <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dave Herndon.</span></strong><br />
The pticher comes up lame as he reaches first base. The Marlins later ruled the injury a mild thigh strain, though I suspect the rookie pulled his abdomen laughing at the <strong><span style="color: red;">two-time defending NL Champions</span></strong> that he's owned the entire afternoon.<br />
<br />
Mendez ends the day with 86 pitches and the Phils took 13 ill-advised or flat out FAILED swings against him. <br />
<br />
Final score: <strong>Marlins 7 - Phillies 1</strong><br />
Final score from Pittsburgh: <strong>Pirates 3 - Braves 1</strong><br />
<br />
What? I should have been funnier and more insightful?<br />
Well look at it this way. I tried just as hard as the Phils hitters did today.<br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
Pre-game:<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Chris <span style="color: red;">the Naked Emperor</span> Wheeler</span></strong> mentions that struggling starting pitcher <strong><span style="color: blue;">Kyle Kendrick</span></strong> could benefit from Milwaukee's <strong>right-heavy batting order.</strong><br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Wheeler: "(Milwaukee) does not have a lot of left-handed hitters in their lineup, so mabye that can help him"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Pigeon: "But the left-handed slugger they do have is a BIG FAT PROBLEM"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>Top 1st:</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: TRAGIC NEWS</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">At 1:39 PM Chris Wheeler mentioned that home plate umpire Jim Joyce <em>missed a call</em> early in the season and cost Detroit Tiger pitcher Armando Gallaraga a perfect game.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">At 1:39 PM in a paralell universe, Bizarro Superman threw a <span style="color: black;">Dong Feng-15 SRBM short range ballistic missle</span> into the headquarters of the Daily Planet in Metroplolis. Estimated loss of life is 1,500. The home of the legenday paper is now a smoking crater.</span></strong><br />
<br />
With one out and runners on 2nd and 3rd folloiwng a Ryan Braun double, <strong><span style="color: blue;">Prince <span style="color: red;">Jabba the Hut</span> Fielder</span></strong> steps to the plate. The left-handed slugger is sporting a sexy pair of shades.<br />
<br />
On the planet <strong><span style="color: #741b47;">Tatooine</span></strong>, a huge Prince Fielder fan with <strong><span style="color: blue;">MLB Season Ticket</span></strong> likes what he sees.<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Jabba the Hutt: "I shall dispatch Bobo Fett to acquire me a pair of those sunglasses".</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong><span style="color: blue;">Carlos Ruiz</span></strong> lapses into a<strong><span style="color: red;"> George Custer moment</span></strong> and decides Kendrick should challenge the dead-pull hitting Fielder with an 87-mph inside fastball. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;">The ball reaches the 2nd deck faster than </span><span style="color: #990000;"><strong>Bizzaro Superman's Dong Feng Missile</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: MIL 3 - PHI 0</strong><br />
<strong>Chase Utley</strong> and <strong>Placido Polanco</strong> send line singles to center-field with one out. <strong><span style="color: blue;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> grounds into a <strong>4-6-3 DP</strong> on a 68-mph curve, but the Phils appear to be swinging the bats well.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: MIL 3 - PHL 0</strong><br />
With the count 2-2, <strong><span style="color: blue;">Jayson Werth</span></strong> shortens his swing nicely and lobs a leadoff double into left-center.<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Ben Francsicso</span></strong> sits on a 68-mph curve and tomahawks a single to left.<br />
<br />
In one of his classic 'hunch' moves, <strong><span style="color: blue;">Charlie Manuel</span></strong> starts <strong><span style="color: blue;">Carlos Ruiz</span></strong> in the matinee because of his sold numbers aginst <strong><span style="color: blue;">Randy Wolf</span></strong>.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">The Beast</span></strong> doens't disappoint as he slams a two-run double into the left-field corner.<br />
<br />
After two innings, Wolf has thrown 44 pitches.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: MIL 3- PHL 2</strong><br />
In typical <strong>Kyle Kendrick fashion,</strong> the righthander is unable to retire <strong><span style="color: blue;">Rickie Weeks</span></strong> after getting ahead 0-2. The leadoff hitter pokes a single past Utley's glove into center field.<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Corey Hart</span></strong> slaps a hot grounder past Polanco and into the left field corner to score the speedy Weeks.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Bottom 3rd: MIL 4 - PHL 2</span></strong><br />
The Phils patient approach to Wolf continues as Utley bats down a high Wolf fastball for a single to center.<br />
But as Wolf hits the 50-pitch mark with no one out in the third, the <strong><span style="color: #990000;">heart of the Phils lineup goes brain-dead.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Polanco</span></strong>: tries to pull 2-0 87-mph outside fastball and <strong>pops weekly to Fielder</strong><br />
<strong>Howard:</strong> tries to pull first pitch 76-mph curveball and <strong>pops weekly to McGhee</strong><br />
<strong>Werth:</strong> swings through 87-mph Nirto Zone fastball and <strong>strikes out.</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 4th: MIL 4 - PHI 2</strong><br />
With one out, reserve catcher <strong><span style="color: blue;">George Kottaras</span></strong> brings his .<strong><span style="color: blue;">205 batting average</span></strong> to the plate.<br />
Kyle Kendrick brings a <strong><span style="color: #741b47;">88-mph E.L. Fudge</span></strong> cookie to the plate.<br />
Kottaras closes his eyes and swings HARD, aunching a towering drive off the wall in right-center.<br />
After getting Wolf to ground into the second out, Kendrick has a chance to get out of the inning.<br />
But in typical <strong>Kyle Kendrick fashion</strong>, the righthander is unable to retire Rickie Weeks after getting two strikes, intead <strong><span style="color: black;">hanging an 87-mph sinker</span></strong> that Weeks strokes for an RBI single.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Bottom 5th: MIL 5 - PHL 2</span></strong><br />
With a little luck, Randy Wolf escapes potential disaster in the Phils 5th. After Rollins reaches on a leadoff error by Escobar, Chase Utley scolds a line drive at Prince Fielder for a double play.<br />
Polando extends the inning with a walk, but Jim Joyce calls a high 1-0 curve ball for strike one, changing Howard's approach and setting up an inning-ending strikeout.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 6th: MIL 5 - PHI 2</strong><br />
With no outs and the bases empty, <strong><span style="color: red;">Jayson Werth</span></strong> swings at a low and inside Wolf fastball and sends a fly ball to the fence where <strong><span style="color: blue;">Corey Hart</span></strong> makes the catch.<br />
This can only be described as <strong><span style="color: red;"><em>STUPID BASEBALL.</em></span></strong> Jayson Werth's job here should be to get on base and make Wolf throw pitches so the Phils can get him out of the game. With Wolf on the mound, <strong><span style="color: blue;">Ryan Howard</span></strong> is uesless and <strong><span style="color: blue;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> and <strong><span style="color: blue;">Domonic Brown</span></strong> remain glued to the Phils bench.<br />
Even if Werth goes yard, the Phils are still down two runs and Wolf has only thrown once pitch. <br />
Rant off.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 8th: MIL 5 - PHL 2</strong><br />
Righthanded reliever <strong><span style="color: blue;">John Axford</span></strong> pitches a very strange inning for the Brewers.<br />
<strong>Polanco (bats right):</strong> strike, ball, groundout.<br />
<strong>Howard (bats left):</strong> ball, ball, ball, ball, BB<br />
<strong>Werth (bats right):</strong> strike, strike, strike, K<br />
<strong>Victorino (bats left):</strong> ball, ball, ball, ball, BB<br />
With lefties <strong><span style="color: blue;">Domonic Bown</span></strong> and <strong><span style="color: blue;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> available to pinch-hit and Axford unable to throw a single strike to a left-handed batter, Manuel inexplicibly leaves right-handed <strong><span style="color: blue;">Ben Francisco</span></strong> in to hit with two outs.<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Francisco (bats right):</span></strong> strike, strike, ball, ball, foul, ball, foul, fly out to RF.<br />
<br />
Final score: <strong>Brewers 6 - Phillies 2</strong><br />
Final score in Miami: <strong>Marlins 7 - Braves 6 (10 inn.)</strong><br />
<br />
If the Phils had to lose, this was the time to do it. Kendrick pitched poorly and the Braves lost.<br />
<br />
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!<br />
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Roy . . .Rod . . . and Roopholyn <br />
9/4/10 - 6:18 PM<br />
<br />
A <strong>Federal Express</strong> package arrives at the visitors clubhouse at <strong>Citizens Bank Park</strong>.<br />
Utility infielder <strong>Alcides Escobar</strong> notices the item and reads the label.<br />
<br />
To: Milwaukee Brewers<br />
From: Los Angeles Dodgers.<br />
<br />
Hey guys! Good luck against <span style="color: red;">Roy Halladay</span>. A Dodger fan who was in that <strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Hangover</span></em></strong> flick hooked me up with some stuff and it helped me last Monday! Use it wisely!<br />
Best regards,<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Rod. B.</strong></span><br />
<br />
Escobar opens the package and sees a pouch of white powder. The native of <strong><span style="color: #38761d;">La Sabana, Venezuela</span></strong> knows exactly what to do next . . .<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
With a game-time temperature of <strong>76 degrees</strong> and a steady wind out of the northwest, <strong><span style="color: red;">Roy Halladay</span></strong> can feel a semblance of post-season energy for the first time in his career.<br />
<br />
The ace righthander has every pitch working as he sandwiches strikeouts of Rickie Weeks and Ryan Braun around a soft grounder from Corey Hart to retire the Brewers in order.<br />
<br />
With the home crowd cheers vibrating in the Phils dugout, Halladay notices the soft glow of <strong><span style="color: #0b5394;">blue Powerade</span></strong> along his traditional seat on the bench. It is cool night, but Halladay's heart is pumping and so he decides a drink would be nice. He sips the liquid . . .<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
Roy Halladay sets down the half-empty Powerade bottle and watches <strong><span style="color: red;">Jimmy Rollins</span></strong> walk to the batter's box. But just as Rollins' name is announced to the crowd, Halladay feels a buzzing sensation in his head. He rubs his eyes, but is interupted by Rollins shouting "<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Should've laid off that curve!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Halladay: "That's what you get for swinging first pitch!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Rollins: "The count was 2-2 with a foul - that's SIX pitches GENIUS!"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
Confused, Halladay settles to watch <strong><span style="color: red;">Placido Polanco</span></strong> go to work But the buzzing returns and Hallady rubs his eyes again.<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Polanco: "Got to lay off that outside change-up!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Halladay: "Try taking a pitch next time, Polly!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Polanco: "Dude, the count was 2-0. What game are you watching?"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
Halladay rolls his eyes and watches <span style="color: red;"><strong>Chase Utley</strong> </span><span style="color: black;">step to the plate.</span> He starts to rub his eyes again just as Ruiz taps him and says <strong><em>"Let's go big guy - side's retired!"</em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Halladay: "Can't anyone take a stinking pitch - I just sat down!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Ruiz: "Dude, Chase saw 8 pitches - he had 3 fouls! Get your head in the game bro!"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
Halladay doesn't dispute Ruiz's account. After all, he cant't understand a word his Panamanian catcher is saying.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
Halladay climbs the mound and reminds himself that <strong><span style="color: blue;">Prince Fielder</span></strong> would lead off the 2nd inning.<br />
<em><span style="color: blue;">"Got to be careful here! This guy's a tub of lard but he's strong as an ox!'</span></em><br />
<br />
The pitcher rubs his eyes, but is then interrupted by a loud chorus of boos. Halladay opens his eyes to see Fielder jog across home plate! The Phanavision score board confirms Halladay's worst fears . . . <br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Brewers 1 - Phillies 0.</span></strong><br />
<br />
Halladay slaps himself in the face, then retires <strong>Casey McGhee</strong> and <span style="color: black;"><strong>Chris Dickerson</strong></span> without incident.<br />
<em><span style="color: blue;">"I just have to get Alcides Escobar here and keep this at 1-0"</span></em><br />
<br />
The pitcher rubs his eyes, but is interrupted by even louder booing. He opens his eyes to see <strong><span style="color: blue;">Alcides Escobar</span></strong> jog across home plate!<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">ALCIDES ESCOBAR???</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: MIL2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Halladay sits in the dugout and wonders how on earth he gave up two homers he <strong><span style="color: #990000;"><em>didn't remember throwing.</em></span></strong><br />
Ruiz interrupts Halladay's ruminations.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Ruiz: "Let's go big guy! Time to work!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Halladay: "It's bad enough we're not scoring, but can't the guys at least let me get some rest!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Ruiz: "Howard and Werth went back-to-back! Game's tied 2-2! We've got this!"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
Since Ruiz's <strong><span style="color: red;">inability to use syllables</span></strong> renders his pep talk <strong><span style="color: red;">incomprehensible</span></strong>, Halladay glances at the Phanvision and nearly spits out his gum.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: 2-2</strong><br />
Halladay remembers facing <strong>Ryan Braun</strong> (pop to short), <strong>Prince Fielder</strong> (double), <strong>Casey McGehee</strong> (grounder to pitcher) and <strong>Chris Dickerson</strong> (liner to third).<br />
But he'll never remember the <strong><span style="color: red;">92-mph Napalm ball</span></strong> that <strong><span style="color: blue;">Corey Hart</span></strong> sent over the right-field fence.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: MIL 3 - PHI 2</strong><br />
The <strong><span style="color: red;">slow and steady recovery</span></strong> of the Phils left-handed sluggers continues as <strong><span style="color: blue;">Chase Utley</span></strong> lines a Bush change-up into center field to score <strong><span style="color: blue;">Jimmy Rollins</span></strong> from second.<br />
Roy Halladay cheers as he watches . . . on Comcast SportsNite two hours later.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: 3-3</strong><br />
Standing on the mound with two outs and four scoreless innings under his belt, <strong><span style="color: red;">Roy Halladay</span></strong> is relieved that his blackouts have ended.<br />
As <strong><span style="color: blue;">Corey Hart</span></strong> steps into the box, Halladay realizes that will be the ninth time he's <strong><span style="color: red;">allowed 3 home runs in a game.</span></strong> He rubs his eyes and wonders how he'll deal with the embarassment . . .<br />
BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!<br />
Halladay doesn't even open his eyes until <strong><span style="color: blue;">Ryan Braun</span></strong> is announced as the next batter.<br />
<br />
The return of Chase Utley to the Phillies infield has left <strong><span style="color: red;">Wilson Valdez</span></strong> with a lot more time to ruminate during games. The <strong>utility infielder</strong> knows something is up with <strong><span style="color: red;">Roy Halladay</span></strong>, but can't quite put his finger on . . . <strong><span style="color: red;">THAT'S IT!!!</span></strong><br />
<br />
The native of <strong><span style="color: #38761d;">Bani, Dominican Republic</span></strong> grabs the half-empty bottle of <strong><span style="color: blue;">Powerade</span></strong>. He suspects that the thrilling game might have made the Brewers catcher thirsty . . .<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 7th: MIL 4 - PHL 3.</strong><br />
While Roy Halladay was opening the bottle of <strong><span style="color: blue;">tainted Powerade</span></strong> before the game, several Phillie batters were <strong><span style="color: #990000;">flagellating themselves</span></strong> over being punked by Brewer releiver <strong><span style="color: blue;">Kameron Loe</span></strong> the night before.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Shane Victorino</span></strong> works a 2-1 count, then shortens his swing to poke a <strong><span style="color: blue;">Low Loe sinker</span></strong> (it looks funny at 2:28 AM - DON'T JUDGE ME!!) to center for a leadoff single.<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Carlos Ruiz</span></strong> shortens his swing and pokes another <strong><span style="color: blue;">Low Loe sinker</span></strong> to right for a single.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: MYTH VS. TRUTH</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">MYTH - The Phillies offense is built around hitting tons of home runs</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">TRUTH - The Phillies offense is AT IT'S BEST when guys shorten their swings, take pitches and put runners on base to create stress for the opposing pitchers. The 3-RUN HOMERS are the occasional by-product of Charlie Manuel's offense by attrition.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong><span style="color: red;">Wilson Valdez</span></strong> enters the game as a pinch-hitter with runners at first and second. He decides to have some fun with Brewers catcher </span><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Jonathan LuCroy.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>Valdez: "Man, these tight games in September make me thirsty!"</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>LuCroy: "I know, man! I just slammed half a bottle of Powerade between innings - really hit the spot!"</em></span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Lefthanded New Jersey native <strong><span style="color: blue;">Zach Braddock</span></strong> comes in to relieve </span><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Kameron (Cameron) Loe (Lowe).</strong></span> </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong><span style="color: red;">Valdez shows bunt</span></strong> as <span style="color: blue;"><strong>LuCroy rubs his eyes</strong>.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;">The catcher <strong>blankly holds down two fingers</strong> for a change-up, even though this is a <strong>clear fastball situation.</strong> Ball one. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;">LuCroy clears his head and calls for a fastball, but Braddock is now <strong>behind and nervous</strong>. Ball two. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>More nervous</strong>. Fastball in dirt. Ball three.</span><br />
<span style="color: black;">Fastball in dirt. </span><span style="color: red;"><strong>Four-pitch walk.</strong></span><br />
<br />
Once again, <strong><span style="color: red;">Jimmy Rollins</span></strong> <strong>abandons his uppercut</strong> when it could be useful, and nubs a weak grounder to McGehee at third. The third baseman makes a smart throw to LuCroy at the plate to force out Victorino.<br />
<br />
LuCroy hears a dejected buzz from the Phils faithful. He sees one out on the Phanavision, and wonders how that happened.<br />
<br />
The catcher rubs his eyes, only to be<strong> interrupted by a deafening roar</strong>.<br />
When LuCroy flips on <strong><span style="color: red;">Comcast SportsNite</span></strong> in his hotel room, this is what he sees.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Polanco</span></strong> flies to medium left field. <strong><span style="color: blue;">Ryan Braun</span></strong> settles and throws home. Ruiz breaks and the ball comes in about <strong>10-feet up the third base line</strong>.<br />
Forgetting his job is to <strong>secure the ball at all costs</strong>, <strong><span style="color: blue;">LuCroy</span></strong> blanky waits for the ball to <strong>arrive in his mitt.</strong> As <strong><span style="color: red;">Ruiz crosses home</span></strong>, <strong><span style="color: blue;">Zach Braddock</span></strong> races behind the batters box to retrieve the ball.<br />
LuCroy <strong><span style="color: red;">sees Wilson Valdez sprinting home</span></strong>, but fails to realize that <strong><span style="color: red;">Valdez is GOING TO SCORE</span></strong>. Braddock delivers a perfect throw that <strong>beats Valdez by five feet</strong>, but in his trance LuCroy catches the ball and stabs belt-high as<strong><span style="color: red;"> Valdez slides underneath his mitt.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Final score: Phillies 5 - Brewers 4</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!</strong><br />
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<br />
Fact one: Phils scored 12 runs last night<br />
<br />
Fact two: Cole Hamels is pitching<br />
<br />
Fact three: Brewers are starting left-hander Chris Capuano. His ERA is only 4.89, but he does have a pulse so he should be able to get Phillie hitters out with Hamels on the hill.<br />
<br />
<strong>Over/Under on Phillie runs - 1.4</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong><br />
Hamels is looking downright rugged tonight. He's wearing about 3 days worth of stubble. Wait, that's 3 days of Don Pigeon stubble, meaning about 10 days worth for Hamels!. Regardless, he strikes out Rickie Weeks and Corey Hart on change-ups, and jams Ryan Braun for the third out.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
Rollins pops an 88-mph Nitro Zone fastball to Weeks at second base. Man I wish that guy would learn to swing down on the ball!<br />
Utley walks and Polanco shortens his swing nicely to send an opposite field single to right.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS <strike>GRAMMER</strike> GRAMMAR 101 (Leave me alone! I'm an accounant, not an English teacher!)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Shorten: in baseball this means to reduce the area of a batter’s swing. </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Mr. Rollins and Mr. Polanco; your assignment is to write this definition 100 times on the whiteboard before leaving class!</span></strong><br />
<br />
With the count 2-2, Ryan Howard watches a fastball sail past the barrel of his bat on the outside corner.<br />
I'm pretty sure Mr. Howard had a Little League coach who told him <strong><em>PROTECT THE PLATE WITH TWO STRIKES</em></strong>. That fellow would be really pissed right now.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
Shane Victorino leads off by lifting a <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">can-of-corn fly ball</span></strong> to left-center field.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Here is why Domonic Brown should not start ahead of any current Phillie - as some bloggers have suggested. Rooke center fielder Lorenzo Cain prepares to catch the routine fly ball, then decides that Tony Luke's really does make a better cheezesteak than either Pat's or Geno's. As this epiphany occurs, Ryan Braun is left to make a desparate stab at the ball, which lands softly at Cain's feet for a double.</span><br />
<br />
This is the kind of judgement Brown has shown ON DEFENSE since coming up to the bigs.<br />
<br />
Raul Ibanez shortens his swing and moves Victorino to third by grounding to second.<br />
<br />
In honor of <strong>Goya's Latino Night</strong> at Citizens Bank Park, MyPhilly17 shows hispanic announcers Danny Martinez and Rickie Ricardo as they call the action in Spanish:<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: ROSETTA STONE</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Ricardo (translated to English): Raul Ibanez does a nice job shortening his swing so Victorino can move to third base - THIS JUST IN! - Bizarro Superman has just been spotted trying to blow Hurricane Earl onshore at Martha's Vineyard!!! Film at eleven!!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Carlos Ruiz taps a soft grounder to 3rd, allowing Victorino to sprint home from third.</span><br />
<br />
Bottom 4th: PHI 1 - MIL 0<br />
<em>Exhuasted from a recent illness and hefty overtime at the office, Don Pigeon dozes off . . .</em><br />
Ryan Howard leads off with a sharp grounder, but Prince Fielder robs him with a spectacular diving stop. Cuddling beside me, <strong><span style="color: purple;">Meghan Fox</span></strong> says, "<strong><em>Hey, that guy lost some serious weight!"</em></strong> <br />
<br />
<em>Don Pigeon wakes up and checks the DVR</em><br />
Ryan Howard leads off with a sharp grounder as Prince Fielder watches and says "Oh, Yeah! Tony Luke's cheesesteaks are WAY better than Pat's or Geno's!!!<br />
<br />
A Jayson Werth single and a Victorino walk load the bases for Raul Ibanez, who lunges after a telegraphed Capuano curve ball and strikes out.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: ROSETTA STONE II</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Ricardo (translated to English): Raul Ibanez completely lost his balance on a curve that my six-year-old could have spotted - THIS JUST IN! - Clark Kent has just defeated Bizarro Superman and spared thousands of vacationers at Martha's Vineyard!</span></strong><br />
<br />
Ruiz follows by scolding a line-drive toward center field. But Weeks has his <strong><span style="color: red;">Biff Tannen</span></strong> on tonight, and starts cheating toward 2nd base just as Ruiz swings. The result is an <strong><span style="color: blue;">inning-ending double play.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 6th: PHI 1 - MIL 0</strong><br />
Kameron Loe comes in to relieve Chris Capuano<br />
The Brewer righthander looks pretty tall and tough customer. When your parents don't know how to correctly spell <strong><span style="color: red;">Cameron </span></strong>or <strong><span style="color: red;">Lowe</span></strong>, you've got to be pretty <strong>tall and tough</strong> to survive.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Prince Fielder</span></strong> somehow manages to field a Ryan Howard grounder and reach around his pitcher to tag Howard as he dives toward the bag.<br />
<br />
Curious to see if <strong><span style="color: blue;">Katy Perry</span></strong> is my companion in this dream, I glance to my left only to see <strong>Maddie the Projectile Vomiting Cat</strong> beside me.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange;">HOLY CRAP! I wasn't asleep! Fielder did make that play! LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!!</span><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 8th: PHL 1 - MIL 0</strong><br />
With Ryan Madson slated to pitch the ninth inning, Jose Contreras pitches the eighth in relief of Cole Hamels.<br />
<br />
With 2 outs and the bases empty, the <strong><span style="color: red;">Naked Emperor</span></strong> dispenses valuable information about Rickie Weeks.<br />
<br />
<em><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Wheeler: "With the score 1-0, you really have to be careful with Weeks!"</strong></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Pigeon: "Most 8-year veterans like Contreras know enough to be careful in the eighth inning of a 1-0 game!"</strong></span></em><br />
<br />
Top 9th: PHI 1 - MIL 0<br />
Ryan Madson attempts to save the game for the Phillies, while at the same time solving the mystery of why such a supremely talented and successful setup man can be such a <strong><span style="color: red;">HAZMAT DISASTER</span></strong> as a closer.<br />
<br />
After retiring Corey Hart on a soft grounder to short, Madson faces a potential choking situation when home plate umpire Deryl Cousins ignores a perfect 93-mph fastball at the knees.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WIRED FOR SOUND</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Home plate umpire Deryl Cousins: "Man, that Tony Luke's cheesesteak is going to taste so good with that bottle of Corona Lite with the little slice of li . . .um, I hope that pitch wasn't an obvious strike."</span></strong><br />
<br />
As Madson <strong><span style="color: red;">cracks four teeth and severs his tounge</span></strong> following the pitch, Chris Wheeler and Tom McCarthy hold their breath for 10 seconds. Both veteran announcers knew that Cousins missed the call, but Wheeler believes he will be sent to Hell if he ever criticizes an umpire on live television.<br />
<br />
Madson <strong><span style="color: red;">swallows three ounces of blood</span></strong> and proceeds to strike out Ryan Braun.<br />
<br />
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: FATHER-SON DAY<br />
I grew up watching a <strong><span style="color: blue;">jolly slugger named Cecil Fielder</span></strong> play for the "Brew Crew' Milwaukee teams of the 1980's. Always self-effacing and smiling, Mr. Fielder was the kind of fellow I enjoyed rooting for.<br />
<br />
As a middle-aged adult, I am now watching a <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">FAT,</span></strong> <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>arrogant</strong>,</span> and did I mention <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>FAT </strong></span>first baseman play for the Milwaukee Brewers. Prince Fielder seems like a <strong>home run watching, lazy yet successful anyway kind of PUNK that I hate with every fiber of my being.</strong><br />
<br />
Why haven't the Mets signed this guy yet? They'd go <strong><span style="color: blue;">PERFECT </span></strong>together!<br />
<br />
Madson jams Fielder, who despite being comprised of<strong><span style="color: red;"> 98.6% LARD,</span></strong> has enough strength to fist the ball 385-feet toward center field. Fortunately for Phillies fans, the fence at that trajectory is 390-feet, allowing Victorino to make a slick running catch to end the game!<br />
<br />
<strong>Final score: Phillies 1 - Brewers 0</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Final score from Miami: Marlins 6 - Braves 1</strong><br />
<br />
I am <strong>Don Pigeon</strong> and <strong>I AM OUT!!!</strong><br />
<br />
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<br />
<strong>Pre-game:</strong><br />
Tom McCarthy and Chris Wheeler open by discussing how on earth the Phils can stop <strong><span style="color: red;">Rod Barajas.</span></strong><br />
<br />
Career stats against Phils: 11 games - .514 avg. - 8 HR - 19 RBI<br />
Team record against Phils: 10-1<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WMPS NEED NOT APPLY</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">The way to deal with a career .234 hitter who is destroying your pitching staff is to SEND HIS FACE TO THE DIRT AND HIS CLEATS TO THE SKY.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Rod Barajas is feeling WAY-WAY-WAY too comfortable against Phillie pitchers. The surest way to reduce the Matador's comfort level is to test his ability to dodge a fastball headed for his ear-flap!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">If the benches clear, the benches clear. Incidently, we owe Joe Torre and the LA Dodgers a bench-clearing brawl for what Ronald 'Punk' Belasario did to Wilson Valdez back on August 10.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>Top 1st:</strong></span><br />
Rollins tries to uppercut a hanging curve to the seats, but Dodger Stadium is a fly ball graveyard. Can of Corn to RF.<br />
Polanco singles to RF and Utley gets<span style="color: red;"><strong> </strong></span><span style="color: black;">hit by a pitch.</span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">Howard crushes a fastball, but the</span> <strong>Biff Tannen defense</strong></span> <strong><span style="color: blue;">(Dodgers magically decide NOT to overshirt Howard?)</span></strong> produces a double-play as Rafael Belliard gobbles the wicked grounder.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st: 0-0</strong><br />
<em><strong><span style="color: blue;">Chris Wheeler: "The problem with Kyle Kendrick is too many base-runners."</span></strong></em><br />
<em><strong><span style="color: blue;">Don Pigeon: "The problem with obese people is too much fat."</span></strong></em><br />
<br />
Once again, Kyle Kendrick huffs a can of <strong><span style="color: #134f5c;">Fear Toxin</span></strong> before taking the rubber. <br />
Scott Posednik ends a brilliant at-bat with on opposite-field double to left on a tough outside-corner pitch with two strikes.<br />
Gripped by terror as the toxin takes effect, Kendrick plunks the mighty Jamie Carroll on the shoulder.<br />
Andre Ethier bails out KK with a first-swing pop-up. After Matt Kemp lines a single to center, Kendrick walks James Loney to force in the game's first run.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: LAD 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>Jayson Werth</strong></span> swigs a bottle of<strong> <span style="color: blue;">Monster Hitman</span></strong> before leading off the 2nd. With his brain fully engaged, Werth keeps his hands back and lines a double down the RF line.<br />
Following a deep <strong><span style="color: black;">Raul Ibanez</span></strong> fly to right and a walk to <span style="color: black;"><strong>Shane Victorino, Brian Schneider</strong> dons the <strong><span style="color: red;">Rod Barajas Matador cape</span> and slams a 3-run HR to right.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 3rd: PHI 3 - LAD 1</strong><br />
Following leadoff singles by Placido Polanco and Chase Utley, the Dodgers pull Carlos Monestarios in favor of Ramon Troncoso. <br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: purple;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WIRED FOR SOUND</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><strong>Troncoso: Hey, Big Guy! I got some</strong> <span style="color: red;"><strong>E.L.Fudge</strong></span> <strong>from home. You look like you could use a piece!</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: purple;">Howard: "I love you, man!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Howard blasts a 3-run HR to left center!</span><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 5th: PHI 6 - LAD 1</strong><br />
Rod Barajas singles to left field to start the inning. He would eventually score on a Jamey Carroll groundout.<br />
<br />
<strong>I swear to God; <span style="color: red;">Clark Kent</span> could pull on a Phillies jersey and <span style="color: red;">The Matador</span> would go 2-for3 off him!</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Botton 6th: PHI 6 - LAD 2</strong><br />
With just 76 pitches thrown, Kendrick should be able to give Charlie Manuel one more inning. But after <strong><span style="color: blue;">Matt Kemp</span></strong> starts the inning with a cue shot single to center, Kendrick sends some <strong><span style="color: red;">90-mph Napalm</span></strong> to <strong><span style="color: blue;">Janes Loney.</span></strong> The first baseman sends a souvenir to a lucky Dodger fan in right field. 2-run HR.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: PHI 6 - LAD 4.</strong><br />
After Scott Podsednik earns himself a <strong><span style="color: #bf9000;">WEB-GEM moment</span></strong> by spilling into the stands while catching an Utley pop-up, the batteries on <strong><span style="color: blue;">George Sherill's GPS</span></strong> go dead. The Dodger lefthander walks Howard and Werth.<br />
<br />
After a two-out intentional walk to <strong><span style="color: blue;">Shane Victorino</span>,</strong> Joe Torre begins the<strong><span style="color: red;"> long descent toward Alzheimer's</span></strong> when he brings Jonathon Broxton to face Carlos <strong><span style="color: red;">the Beast</span></strong> Ruiz. The Phils catcher triggers PTSS for Broxton by lining a two-run single<br />
<br />
<strong>Final Score: Phillies 8 - Dodgers 4</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!</strong><br />
<br />
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<br />
Pre-game: <br />
<br />
38-year-old righthander <strong><span style="color: blue;">Hiroki Kuroda</span></strong> brings a <strong><span style="color: red;">0.95 regular season ERA</span></strong> against Phillies into tonight.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: MYSTERY QUESTIONS OF LIFE</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Why do ancient Japanese players dominate the Phils? Kuroda is 38, Hideki Matsui was 35 when he curb-stomped the Phils in the 2009 WS.</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">I think Charlie Manuel may have played against these guys!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Top 1st:</strong> <br />
Rollins gets ahead 3-1, but takes 92-mph heat in the nitro zone and jams himself trying to pull a 90-mph pitch in the outside corner. POPUP!!<br />
<br />
Utley swings through a hanging change-up and K's on high-inside fastball. Pathetic AB!<br />
<br />
Polanco takes full cut at 85 change-up instead of a two-strike defensive cut and K's.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Chris Wheeler: (Kuroda) does not throw balls in the middle of the plate"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Pigeon: "Actually Chris, I counted FOUR in the first inning!"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 1st:</strong><br />
Howard pulls an <strong><span style="color: blue;">Adam Dunn</span></strong> by failing to reach down for an Andre Ethier grounder. An <strong><span style="color: red;">easy force-out</span></strong> becomes infield single.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #bf9000;">Baseball Karma</span></strong> pays Howard a visit two batter later as James Loney tomahawks a grounder past the first baseman for an RBI single.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd:</strong> <strong>LA 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Howard crushes a 3-2 pitch toward right, but shortstop Jamey Carroll pulls a <strong><span style="color: red;">Biff Tannen</span></strong> and catches the liner.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 2nd: LA 1 - PHI 0</strong><br />
After robbing Howard of a hit, Carroll robs Roy Halladay of a strikeout by poking an 0-2 outside sinker to right field in front of the charging Jayson Werth.<br />
<br />
On the surfact, this is a <strong><span style="color: purple;">lucky hit</span></strong> - but Carroll <strong><span style="color: blue;">played the game correctly</span></strong> and was rewarded. He was fooled on a filthy 0-2 sinker off the outside corner. He <span style="color: blue;"><strong>shortened his swing</strong></span> and gave himself a change to get lucky by making contact. Well done.<br />
<br />
Rod <strong><span style="color: red;">The Matador</span></strong> Barajas grounds into DP - and scores Casey Blake from 3rd.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 4th: LA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Rollins tries to uppercut a 93-mph <strong><span style="color: red;">Nitro Zone fastball</span></strong> into the seats, but Dodger Stadium is a <strong><span style="color: blue;">fly ball graveyard</span></strong>. <strong><span style="color: yellow;"> </span><span style="color: #f1c232;">Can of Corn to CF</span></strong><span style="color: #f1c232;">.</span><br />
<br />
Utley tries to uppercut a 94-mph <strong><span style="color: red;">Nitro Zone fastball</span></strong> into the seats, but Dodger Stadium is a<strong><span style="color: blue;"> fly ball graveyard.</span></strong> <strong><span style="color: #f1c232;">Can of Corn to LF.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 5th: LA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Howard tries to uppercut a 91-mph <strong><span style="color: red;">Nitro Zone fastball</span></strong> into the seats, but Dodger Stadium is a <strong><span style="color: blue;">fly ball graveyard</span></strong>. <strong><span style="color: #f1c232;">Can of Corn to SS.</span></strong><br />
<br />
With a 3-1 count, Werth tries to pull a decent, but hittable Kuroda fastball into the seats, <strong><span style="color: blue;">but swings over top</span></strong> and grounds weakly to short.<br />
<br />
With a 2-0 count, Ibanez puts a nice swing on a Kuroda sinker and lines out to left.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 5th: LA 2 - PHI 0</strong><br />
Roy Halladay experiences a <strong><span style="color: blue;">Brett Myers ADD moment</span></strong> and unconciously delivers Rod Barajas a <strong><span style="color: red;">Napalm fastbal</span></strong>l over the inner-half. <strong><span style="color: red;">The Matador</span></strong> slams the pitch over the left field fence to make the score 3-0.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: LAW AND ORDER</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Judge to Roy Halladay: You are charged with <span style="color: blue;">reckless endangerment of the 2010 Phillies season</span> in addition to <span style="color: #134f5c;">aiding and abetting a known stiff</span>. How do you plead?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Halladay: Your Honor, it was the weirdest thing. One second, Barajas stepped to the plate. The next thing I knew, he was jogging around the bases. </span><span style="color: red;">I DON'T REMEMBER THROWING A PITCH!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Judge: You are hearby prohibited from entering the Baseball Hall of Fame on your first year of eligibilty. You will receive full consideration in your second year. COURT IS ADJORNED!!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">Miscellaneous</span></strong><br />
Kuroda inexplicably takes a<strong><span style="color: red;"> no-hitter</span></strong> into the 8th inning, where <strong><span style="color: blue;">Shane Victorino</span></strong> justly denies the righthander a piece of history by lining a single to right.<br />
<br />
<strong>Final score: Dodgers 3 - Phillies 0</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!</strong><br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Since this is an afternoon game instead of the 10 PM game I expected, I've decided to put together a short blog today.<br />
<br />
<strong>Top 2nd: 0-0</strong><br />
<br />
Ryan Howard checks his swing on a 2-1 curve ball. Fox commentators Josh Lewin and Eric Karros note that Scott '<strong><span style="color: red;">Hannibal Lecter'</span></strong> Barry would have called a swinging strike.<br />
<br />
Karros looks like a goofball, but I like what I hear of his commentary in the early going.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 3rd: 0-0</strong><br />
<br />
After Brian Schiender walks, Joe Blanton does the unthinkable and lays a <strong><span style="color: blue;">successful sacrifice bunt</span></strong> on Garland's first pitch! <br />
<br />
At the same moment, a Metropolis scientist perfects the <strong><span style="color: #45818e;">cure to cancer,</span></strong> only to have <strong><span style="color: red;"><em>Bizzaro Superman</em></span></strong> snap his neck before he can document his findings.<br />
<br />
Blanton's effort goes to waste as 2nd baseman David Eckstein employs the <strong><span style="color: red;">Biff Tannen defense</span></strong> to intercept a bullet off the bat of Jimmy Rollins<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON BASEBALL GLOSSARY (reprinted from GP - 8/13/10)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">BIFF TANNEN DEFENSE – Defensive strategy where infielders use time travel to watch opponents offensive highlights – a la Biff Tannen in Back to the Future II - then return to the present so they can catch line drives. Invented by Eric Bruntlett on 8/23/09 during a Phillies-Mets game, the strategy resulted in a game-ending triple play off the bat of Jeff Francoeur.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;"><strong>Top 5th: 0-0</strong></span><br />
<br />
With Jayson Werth (HBP) on 2nd, Shane Victorino shortens his swing on a Garland curve-ball (rarely seen from Phillie hitters not named Chase Utley) and lines an RBI single to center. <br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 5th: PHI 1 - SD 0</strong><br />
<br />
With runners at second and third with two outs, the battery of Brian Schneider and Joe Blanton put their brains into <strong><span style="color: #45818e;">'Sleep Mode'</span></strong> and start Padre pitcher Jon Garland - and his <strong><span style="color: blue;">lifetime .133 batting average</span></strong> - with an 83-mph letter high change-up.<br />
<br />
Blanton certainly missed his spot, but why does he need to <strong>fool the opposing pitcher?</strong> Whoever decided on throwing that pitch should be forced to room with <strong><span style="color: red;">Scott Barry</span></strong> for 30 days.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Shane Victorino</span></strong> bails Blanton from further damage by gunning down Nick Hundley at home following an Eckstein single.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bottom 6th: 1-1</strong> <br />
<br />
Miguel Tejada looks at a third strike, and home plate umpire <strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Laz Diaz*</span></em></strong> stares down the shortstop as he returns to the San Diego dugout. <br />
<br />
Laz - as in <strong><span style="color: blue;">Lazlo </span></strong>- as in <strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Lazlo Hoyfeld</span></em></strong> from the <strong><span style="color: blue;">Val Kilmer</span></strong> 80's comedy <strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Real Genius</span></em></strong>? <br />
<br />
Being accustomed to Chris Wheeler's <strong><span style="color: red;">jock sniffing of umpires</span></strong> on local Phillies telecasts, I find it refreshing to hear Eric Karros - bad hair and all - call out Diaz for his childish attempt to bait Tejada. <br />
<br />
<strong>Top 7th: 1-1</strong> <br />
<br />
With Jayson Werth on 1st with one out, Shane Victorino launches an RBI triple to the gap in left center. <br />
<br />
The Padres decide to employ the <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Houston Astro Defense</span></strong> (just wait for a Phillie runner to go <strong><span style="color: red;">brain-dead</span></strong> away from the base bag) and throw <strong><span style="color: blue;">two pitchouts</span></strong> as Carlos Ruiz pinch-hits for Schneider. <br />
<br />
Mike Sweeney grounds into a potential double-play, but Carlos <strong><span style="color: red;">the Beast</span></strong> Ruiz burys Eckstein with a take-out slide that allows Victorino to score. <br />
<br />
Bottom 7th: PHI 3 - SD 1 <br />
<br />
The <strong><span style="color: #b45f06;">FOX WIRED FOR SOUND</span></strong> feature shows Laz Diaz <strong><span style="color: red;">sniffing Will Venable's jock.</span></strong> On Friday, Venable robbed Jayson Werth of a home run by leaping to snag a line drive aimed for the seats. <br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Diaz: "Dude, you made that fence out there looks short! You got some serious hops!"</span></em></strong> <br />
<br />
Oh yeah: That's how I want to hear my <strong><span style="color: red;">impartial umpire</span></strong> talk as an opponent bats during a crucial August game! <br />
<br />
Behind Blanton (tremendous save for one <strong><span style="color: #7f6000;">Brain Shart),</span></strong> Jose Contraras, Ryan Madson (who didn't take any pitches off today!) and Brad Lidge, the Phils stifle the Padres by a final of 3-1. <br />
<br />
<strong>I'm Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!</strong><br />
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<br />
Back when I planned my vacation week, I bought tickets for today's game online. So I attended this game along with my daughter Jennifer and my son A.J.<br />
<br />
Both of my kids love the Phillies, but neither has my sense of <span style="color: red;"><strong>indignant passion</strong></span> for the Fightins. So my original plan to chante <strong><span style="color: red;">BARRY . . . BARRY . . . BARRY . . .</span></strong> for three hours has been trashed.<br />
<br />
There will be a mixture of live texts with the Bus Lady and the usual inane comments by Chris Wheeler and company - because at the <strong><span style="color: red;">Cave of Insanity</span></strong> we're all abot <span style="color: blue;"><strong>PREPARATION</strong>.</span><br />
<br />
Top 1st: 0-0<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Wheeler: "Kyle Kendrick wasn't good in has last game."</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Pigeon: "But the umpires are good in EVERY GAME!"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">With one out, Kendrick starts Anderson Hernandez with a <strong><span style="color: blue;">perfect fastball</span></strong> at the knees for <strong><span style="color: red;">ball one.</span></strong> Hernandez grounds a single on the 3-1 pitch.</span><br />
<br />
Kendrick then hangs a 90-mph sinker to Carlos Lee, who sends a screaming liner into the LF corner. Raul Ibanez runs half-marathon to reach the ball, then sends a t-ball throw to Jimmy Rollins, who has no chance to nail Hernandez at home.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: OUTFIELD DEFENSE</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: blue;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Fact 1: Carlos Lee is a DEAD PULL HITTER</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: blue;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Fact 2: Kyle Kendrick's top velocity is 90-mph.</span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: blue;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Why is Raul Ibanez shading Lee toward center field???</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: THE POWER OF LOVE</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Throughout today's blog I'll be mixing actual text messages that I exchanged with Andrea, my wife of 23 years! Her handle is Bus Lady. Mine is DJP. The time of day is in parenthesis.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Bus Lady: We should of known if Halladay couldn’t do it u really think Kenderick (sp) can? (1:26)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">DJP: Ibanez played too far away from from foul line. Then he made a lousy throw. They should not have scored. (1:29)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Bus Lady: That's our Phillies (1:30)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Bottom 1st: HOU 1 - PHI 0</span><br />
<br />
Jimmy Rollins leads off with a hard grounder to third. Astros third baseman makes a great diving stop and throws Rollins out by a hair at first.<br />
<br />
Since Scott Barry is stationed at first bast today, Chris Wheeler is obligated to sniff his jock.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Wheeler: "The fans are going because of what has gone on this week. But (Barry) got it right!"</span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Pigeon: "The next time I get an Excel Spreadsheet right at my accounting job, will you play it in slow motion and announce it to 1,000,000 Comcast viewers?"</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
Top 2nd: HOU 1 - PHI 0<br />
<br />
After Angel Sanchez lines an 0-2 single with one out, Jason Castro takes an outside corner pitch for an opposite field single. Wandy Rodriguez then drops a perfect sacrifice bunt on the <strong><span style="color: red;">FIRST TRY!</span></strong><br />
<br />
Michael Bourn turns on an 87-mph fastball for an RBI single.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Bus Lady: It seems as though they were not yelled at enough. It’s like watching a team doen’t jnow what to do. (1:37)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Bus Lady: I think they should put in the relief team, they did better than the real team. (1:38)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Bottom 2nd: HOU 2 - PHI 0<br />
<br />
Ryan Howard leads off and works a 3-0 count. But he jams himself on an 87-mph hanger that should have gone to the upper deck in right - and pops out to short.<br />
<br />
Raul Ibanez draws a 2-out walk, though his check swing got more of the plate that one that got Ryan Howard ejected on Tuesday. Just saying.<br />
<br />
Victorino ends the inning by trying to pull a 74-mph curve and grounding weakly to short.<br />
<br />
Top 3rd: HOU 2 - PHI 0<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WHY YOU NEED A STRIKEOUT PITCH</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">With one out, Kendrick gets Carlos Lee into a 3-2 count. Here are the next four pitches.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">81-mph change-up. Foul</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">90-mph fastball. Foul</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">90-mph fastball. Foul</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">90-mph fastball. </span><span style="color: red;">Home run to left.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Top 4th: HOU 3 - PHI 0</span><br />
<br />
Sanchez hit a line drive toward Raul Ibanez. The ball has some top-spin, so for a <strong><span style="color: red;">MAJOR LEAGUE OUTFIELDER</span></strong>, it's moderately difficult.<br />
<br />
As Ibanez reaches the ball, he slips into <strong><span style="color: #bf9000;">WEB-GEM</span></strong> mode and does a gorgeous slide as he stabs at the ball. Less gorgeous, unfortunately, is the ball clipping the web of Ibanez's glove and rolling toward the fence for a double.<br />
<br />
I'm thinking things can't get worse than this. Naturally, I'm proven wrong as Wandy Rodriguez slams a piece of <strong><span style="color: red;">E.L. Fudge</span></strong> off the base of the RF wall to score Sanchez.<br />
<br />
Raul Ibanez has now cost the Phillies two runs with subpar defensive play.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">DJP: Ibanez should have caught the ball, he did not have to slide. Kendrick should be sent to the minors for allowing that hit to the pitcher. Im behaving, barely! (2:20)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Bus Lady: The only way this team will try is if all the fans walked out (2:28)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Bottom 4th: HOU 4 - PHI 0</span><br />
<br />
Utley - Chases 76-mph curve in dirt - 3-unassisted<br />
Polanco - Tries to pull 89-mph outside fastball - 6-3 groundout<br />
Howard: Tries to kill gnats and forgets that the ball is passing the batters box. Strikeout.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">DJP: Im trying to remember what sin Ive done to deserve seeing the Phils get no hit by this schmuck! (2:32)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Bottom 5th: HOU 4 - PHI 0<br />
<br />
The Phillies realize they are being no-hit by mediocre junkballer, and they actuall <strong><span style="color: red;">MAKE ADJUSTMENTS!!</span></strong><br />
<br />
Werth: tracks a curveball nicely for a line single.<br />
<br />
Ibanez: quick, compact swing produces 2B to RF corner. Despite being in full <strong><span style="color: red;">spear-hunting stride</span></strong>, the <strong><span style="color: blue;">Geico Caveman Doppelganger</span></strong> is held at third base.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Tom McCarthy: "The Astros are giving the Phillie a run here (by playing infield back)."</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
But as quickly as the Phils begin thinking at home plate - they stop.<br />
<br />
Victorino: chases fastball <strong><span style="color: red;">at his SHOULDERS</span></strong> for strike three.<br />
<br />
Schneider: lunges at curveball in the dirt with less than two strikes - a<strong><span style="color: red;"> Scott Barry HE WENT AROUND moment</span></strong> would have been better than the 250-foot fly ball he lifts to right field.<br />
<br />
Pence catches the ball on a dead run for out number two. Inexplicably - with a pinch-hitter <strong><span style="color: red;">locked and loaded</span></strong> in the on-deck circle - Sam Ferlazzo sends Werth to be sacrificed at home plate like a <strong><span style="color: blue;">lamb at passover.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #741b47;">DJP: They had no hits. They took shorter swings to get singles. They got a single and double. They went back to HR swings. End of rally. (2:46)</span></strong><br />
<br />
This blows my mind in person, but on DVR I hear Gary Matthews make an observation I missed:<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><strong><em>Matthews: "Jason Werth had a chance to knock Jason Castro down right there.</em></strong></span><span style="color: black;">"</span><br />
Even if Castro holds the ball for the out, Werth is <strong><span style="color: red;">OBLIGATED</span></strong> to make someone in an Astro uniform <span style="color: red;"><strong>PAY SOME KIND OF PRICE</strong></span> for paryting in <strong><span style="color: red;">OUR HOUSE</span></strong> for the past four days!!!<br />
<br />
Bottom 6th: HOU 4 - PHI 0<br />
<br />
Ben Francisco leads off by beating an infield single. <br />
<br />
In person, I thought he bunted. DUH! A Phillie bunt for a base-hit?<strong><span style="color: red;"> I should be drug-tested!</span></strong><br />
<br />
After a fielder's choice by Rollins, Chase Utley reminds Phillies fans of the good-old days by lining a Rodriguez pitch into the RF corner.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;">Unlike Werth,</span></strong> Rollins is allowed to come home to score the first Phillies run.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">DJP: Welcome back Chase! Weve missed you! (2:55)</span></strong><br />
<br />
But my joy is short-lived as Polanco works at 2-0 count only to <span style="color: red;"><strong>jam himself</strong></span> on an 85-mph hanger (foul), and <strong><span style="color: red;">swing late</span></strong> on an 89-mph fastball (miss) and another 85-mph hanger (beat into ground for 5-3).<br />
<br />
Ryan Howard should just bring a fly-swatter to home plate. Swings and misses at two curves in the dirt.<br />
<br />
Top 7th: HOU 4 - PHI 1<br />
<br />
Michael Bourn barely nicks a JC Romero pitch and sends a <strong><span style="color: red;">'swinging bunt'</span></strong> between the mound and first. Romero lunges for the ball and loses a shoe while Romero streaks through first for a single.<br />
<br />
AJ sees me seething in my seat.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: GENERATION GAP</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">AJ: Seriously, Dad, you're going to make fun of the guy because his shoe fell off?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">Me: Seriously, Son, you expect me to <span style="color: red;">NOT MAKE FUN OF HIM</span>?</span></strong><br />
<br />
Bourn provides a fitting conclusion to Houston's embarassment and torture of the Phillies and their fans, by rounding 3rd base on a routine grounder to Polanco and racing home for the fifth Astro run.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">DJP: I used to be afraid I’d go to hell. I’m not anymore. I’ve been there for 2 hours (3:19)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">Bus Lady: Ur right u r in hell because hell is paradise compared to what ur going thru now (3:22)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">DJP: An airplane just flew over me. For a brief second I hoped it would fall on me. (3:38)</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>DJP: I hope the Braves win 10 f-n games in a row! F- this team! (4:09)</strong></span> <br />
<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;"></span></strong> <br />
<span style="color: black;">Final score: Astros 5 - Phils 1</span> <br />
<br />
<strong>I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT (with a broken spirit)!</strong>Don Pigeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02935719013014134165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9211342217901211236.post-21674029695975354692010-08-25T20:02:00.000-07:002010-08-25T20:11:39.779-07:00Going Pigeon: Astros at Phillies - 8/25/10: djpigeon@comcast.net7:15 - Comcast airs highlights of Scott Barry's Hanibal Lecter impersonation in the 14th inning of Tuesday's game.<br />
<br />
The footage highlights Dan Baker's announcment of tonight's umpiring crew. Scott Barry and Greg Gibson are booed lustily.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: red; font-size: xx-small;">I would have preferred a 2-hour of seranade of BAAARRRRRY - BAAARRRRY!</span></strong><br />
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Naturally, Chris <strong><span style="color: red;">the Naked Emperor</span></strong> Wheeler has to take a shot at the Phillie fans that pay his salary (by watching the games on TV)<br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>Wheeler: "(The fans that booed) knew who (Gibson & Barry) were. You know, these guys really don't like attention."</em></span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>Pigeon: You've got to be kidding me! <span style="color: red;">Scott Barry</span> sure looked like he loved and wanted the attention when he was <span style="color: red;">baiting Ryan Howard</span> so he could throw him out on strike 3. </em></span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>Pigeon: Chris . . . Please stop talking! On, second thought . . . please <span style="color: red;">stop breathing</span>!"</em></span></strong><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Bottom 3rd: 0-0</span><br />
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Roy Halladay is in full Cy Young mode as he retires the first 9 Astros on 30 pitches.<br />
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But J.A. Happ is throwing well and taking advantage of the Phils current obsession with trying to pull tape-measure homers.<br />
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Ben Francisco grounds weakly to short after trying to pull an 90 mph outisde fastball.<br />
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Carlos Ruiz jams himself on a high change-up and sends a soft looper to second.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: red;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WAR IS HELL</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: red;">Marlon Brando - as Colonel Walter E. Kurtz in <em>Apocalypse Now:</em> "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning!"</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: red;">Louis Gosset Jr. - as Sgt. Emil Foley in <em>An Officer and a Gentleman:</em> "Napalm sticks to little kids! (during marching song)</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: red;">Hunter Pence- RF Houston Astros: "I love the smell of Napalm at Citizens Bank Park"</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: red;">Solo homer</span></strong> to RF<br />
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Bottom 4th: HOU 1 - PHI 0<br />
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With one out and Victorino on first, Placido Polanco tries to pull a hanging slider instead of taking the pitch to right field. <br />
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<strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">No Pinky and the Brain segment for you tonight, Polly! YOU HAVE TO EARN THOSE!</span></strong><br />
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Bottom 5th: HOU 1 - PHI 0<br />
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Jayson Werth begins his community service to Phillie fans for his Monday night pickoff by slamming a solo homer off the fence railing in left field.<br />
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Top 6th: 1-1<br />
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Houston regains the lead as Michael Bourn crushes a one-out homer to RF<br />
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<strong>Mr. Bourn; the HGH tester will see you now!</strong><br />
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Bottom 6th: HOU 2 - PHI 1<br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Roy Halladay: "If I want something done right; I'd better do it myself!"</strong></span></em><br />
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Halladay leads off with a ground single up the middle. It's fascinating how a guy who spent his entire career in the <strong><span style="color: red;">American League</span></strong> knew enough to take what Happ gave him instead of trying to pull a home run into the flower pots.<br />
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Shane Victorino appears to earn a free ticket to first base when a Happ pitch plunks off his elbow.<br />
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In spite of not wanting to draw attention to himself, home plate umpire Brian Knight elects to call Victorino back to home plate.<br />
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In fairness to Knight, replays showed that Victorino made <strong><span style="color: red;">no effort</span></strong> to elude the pitch.<br />
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In fairness to Victorino, he has been watching teammate Chase Utley <span style="color: red;"><strong>do the same thing</strong></span> for 4 years and almost never get called back to the plate.<br />
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Sometimes, good umpiring is about <strong><span style="color: blue;">consistency</span></strong>. But consistent umpires never get shown on <span style="color: red;"><strong>Sportscenter.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;">For a brief moment, Karma shines on Phillies fans as Victorino <strong><span style="color: blue;">dribbles a single</span></strong> to left field. </span><br />
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The moment continues when Polanco sends a routine liner to Carlos Lee, who manages to <strong><span style="color: red;">butcher the play</span></strong> into an RBI double.<br />
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Top 7th: 2-2<br />
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Chris Johnson sends a double past Jayon Werth into the right field corner.<br />
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Chris Wheeler gushes about how hot Chris Johnson has been - alluding to Ryan Madson's ill-fated pitch to Carlos Lee with Johnson in the on-deck circle in Monday's loss.<br />
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Johnson has been hot, but the pitch Halladay threw him (91-mph down the middle) would keep most hitters in a hot streak.<br />
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Halladay pays for that mistake when Humberto Quintero (a.k.a. - <strong><span style="color: orange;">the Lukiest Catcher in the World</span><span style="color: black;">),</span></strong> drops his bat on a tough curve ball and bloops an RBI double to left.<br />
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Bottom 8th: HOU 3 - PHI 2<br />
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Playing for the stressed out and sore Ryan Howard, Mike Sweeney greets Happ with a leadoff single.<br />
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Ben Francisco grounds into a 5-4 fielders choice. Ruiz then singles to left before Roy Halladay is lifted for a pinch hitter.<br />
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Facing Astros reliever Tom Byrdak, Raul Ibanez drives a ball that is caught deep in right center.<br />
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Jimmy Rollins then steps in against Mark Melancon.<br />
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Rollins takes a high curve for strike one<br />
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<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Tom McCarthy: "Rollins thought that pitch was high - and it looked like it was."</span></em></strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;"></span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">Chris Wheeler: "It looked like a good pitch."</span></em></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #0b5394;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: MEDICAL MYSTERIES</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #0b5394;">How do major league umpires ever sit on the throne when Chris Wheeler always has his lips in their <span style="color: red;">CENSORED</span>?</span></strong><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Rollins manages to work the count even at 2-2, before LCW Quintero decides to make a routine toss to Chris Johnson at third.</span><br />
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Despite the hard work performed by CBP groundskeepers who cleared a <strong><span style="color: blue;">clay pathway between 3rd base and home plate</span></strong>, Ben Francisco manages to <strong><span style="color: red;">get lost</span></strong> on the way back to third base. <br />
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Johnson nearly <strong><span style="color: red;">wet belches</span></strong> his pre-game dinner laughing as he tags Franciso to end the inning.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: EARLY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">For Jayson Werth: An <span style="color: red;">IHome alarm clock Radio</span>, for those days when standing at second base makes you sooooo sleeeeeeepy</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">For Ben Francisco: A <span style="color: red;">Magellan eXplorist GPS Navigation system</span> for when you just can't find third base hidden among those fellows in the red Astros shirts.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">For Chris Wheeler: 4-ounce jar of <span style="color: blue;">Vicks Vapor Rub</span>. Because some umpries don't shower as often as they should.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">For Scott Barry: A dime bag of <span style="color: orange;">Crystal Methamphetamine</span>; to see if you could act any more <span style="color: red;">psychotic</span> than you so when you're when allegedly sober.</span></strong><br />
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Final score: Astros 3 - Phillies 2<br />
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Final score from Denver: Rockies 12 - Braves 10<br />
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BTW - The Phillies owe the Rockies one SERIOUS apology<br />
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I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!Don Pigeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02935719013014134165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9211342217901211236.post-5297516158359573702010-08-25T01:04:00.000-07:002010-08-25T01:08:05.631-07:00Going Pigeon: Astros at Phillies - 8/24/10Top 1st: 0-0<br />
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As Cole Hamels works through a scoreless first inning, Tom McCarthy and Chris <span style="color: red;"><strong>The </strong></span><span style="color: red;"><strong>Naked Emperor</strong> </span><span style="color: black;">Wheeler</span> recap Greg Gibson's botched baseline call that led to the go-ahead Houston runs in the 8th inning.<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>Wheeler: "Howard said later that he tagged Bourn, but he never acted like he had after the play - all he did was point at the baseline!"</em></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>Pigeon: "Howard didn't make a fuss about the tag because he knew the tag was hard to see. But <span style="color: red;"><strong>Stevie Wonder</strong></span> could have made the baseline evasion call! That's why all the emotion was directed toward the baseline!"</em></span><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Wheeler: "I just would have liked to see Ryan be a bit more demonstrative about the tag!"</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Pigeon: Seriously? You, the <span style="color: red;"><strong>Man who Loves Umpires</strong></span> . . . wanted Howard to argue more passionately to an umpire?</span></em><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Bottom 1st: 0-0</span><br />
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For the first time since early June, the Phillies have their original starting lineup intact to face <strong><span style="color: blue;">Bud Norris</span></strong>, who brings an ERA of 5.23 into the game.<br />
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Norris is a right-hander who pounds the plate with 92-94 mph fastballs because he can't control his mediocre breaking stuff.<br />
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If the Phils went to <strong><span style="color: red;">Build-a-Stiff</span></strong> to create a pitcher for their left-heavy lineup to anihilate, they would plop Bud Norris on the cash register while grinning from ear-to-ear.<br />
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But Rollins starts the night by upper-cutting a 93-mph fastball into a pop-up to third.<br />
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After a Placido Polanco single, both Chase Utley and Ryan Howard managed to be late on a pair of 93-94 fastballs in the Nitro Zone.<br />
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Bottom 2nd:<br />
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Jayson Werth leads off the inning. MyPhilly17 airs a retrospective of Werth's <strong><span style="color: red;">Patrick Star</span></strong> moment in the 6th inning of last night's game.<br />
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Apparently, Brett Myers stuck his tounge out at Werth. The ensuing giggle caused the Hamster in Werth's brain to stumble in its wheel, which reduced the firing rate of syanapses and resulted in Werth falling asleep as the final intentional ball reached home plate.<br />
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Bottom line: Werth was outsmarted by Brett Myers: the guy who in 2009 said his <strong><span style="color: red;">four-year old</span></strong> gave him a black eye, rendering him unable to pitch in a Clearwater rehab assignment.<br />
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Finding of the <strong><span style="color: red;">Cave of Insanity:</span></strong> too . . . stupid . . . to . . . live<br />
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Fittingly, Werth is also late on a 94-mph fastball in the Nitro Zone.<br />
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This is becoming a disturbing trend.<br />
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Top 4th: 0-0<br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;">Hunter Pence</span></strong> puts a nice swing on a decent Hamels cutter for a single. <strong><span style="color: blue;">Carlos Lee</span></strong> - the beneficiary of <strong><span style="color: red;">Greg Gibson's blindness</span></strong> in game 1 - gets another gift in the form of a hanging change-up. Home run to left - Astros 2 - Phils 0<br />
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Bottom 4th: HOU 2 - PHI 0<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>Gary Matthews: "The Phils seem to be taking a lot of fastballs from Norris."</em></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><em>Pigeon: "And that doesn't include the fastballs they've jammed themselves on!"</em></span><br />
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Bottom 5th: <br />
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Tom McCarthy is having more trouble letting go of the baseline incident than I am.<br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">McCarthy: "I heard Charile Manuel's comment about the umpires earlier today - he said that "If I could see every calls umpires miss on replay, I would lose the trust I have for (Umpires) now."</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Pigeon: "That's the difference between me and Charlie Manuel. As far as my level of trust for umpires, I've got <span style="color: red;"><strong>NOTHING</strong></span> to lose!"</span></em><br />
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<span style="color: black;">To dramatize the discussion, MyPhilly17 shows a close-up of each umpire - ending with Scott <span style="color: red;">"<strong>Buster Douglas</strong></span><strong>"</strong> Barry, who managed to miss 15% of the pitches he needed to call on Monday night.</span><br />
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Bottom 6th: HOU 2 - PHI 0<br />
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After Ryan Howard is late on two more Norris fastballs, Jayson Werth finally decides to shorten his swing and lines a single to center.<br />
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"Hey Jayson, did Brett Myers make that suggestion? He is a <span style="color: red;"><strong>SUPER GENIUS</strong></span>, you know!"<br />
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Raul Ibanez then decides to wait on a breaking ball and hits a smart liner down the left-field line. Running as though the <strong><span style="color: red;">SuperCuts </span></strong>police are chasing him, Werth crosses home for the first Phillie run.<br />
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Bottom 7th:<br />
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Tim Byrdak comes in for the Astros, and promptly issues one out walks to Jimmy Rollins and Placido Polanco.<br />
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Chase Utley comes to the plate<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: MOVIE COACHING IDOLS</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>One of my favorite sports movies of all time is Hoosiers. It has everything a fan like me could ask for: a small school besting the powerhouse from the big city, a story of redemption for a coach who blew everything in a heated moment, and a star player who overcomes emotional trauma to deliver the game-winning shot.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Early in the film, Norman Dale - played by Gene Hackman - instructs his players to pass the ball <span style="color: red;">four times</span> before every shot. When the first game arrives and points are scarce, one of Dale's players begins firing shots without passes or conscience.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>After watching the player bury two consecutive jump shots, Dale calls time-out and pulls the player from the game.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Every time I see a player swing at the first pitch; especially when the player makes a weak out; I think of Norman Dale and smile.</span><br />
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Utley fouls off an off-speed pitch before flying out to rightfield.<br />
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Bottom 9th: HOU 2 - PHI 1<br />
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Once again, the Phils have managed to put Cole Hamels in the position of losing despite an oustanding performance. <br />
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But just as all hope is lost, Jimmy Rollins sits on a fastball from <strong><span style="color: blue;">Wilton Lopez</span></strong> and launches a game-tying blast into sixth-row of the RF bleachers.<br />
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Bottom 10th: HOU 2 - PHI 2<br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;">Fernando Abad</span></strong> enters the game with an <strong><span style="color: red;">ERA of 9.00</span></strong><br />
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This is where Richie Ashburn would say: "His ERA is 9.00; <span style="color: red;"><strong>somebody </strong></span>must be hitting him!"<br />
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<strong><span style="color: red;">Somebody</span></strong> was not in the Phillies lineup tonight.<br />
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Bottom 12th: HOU 2 - PHI 2<br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Mark Melancon</span> enters the game for Houston with an ERA of 4.91<br />
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This is where Richie Ashburn would say: "His ERA is 4.91; <span style="color: red;"><strong>somebody </strong></span>must be hitting him!"<br />
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Still no sign of <strong><span style="color: red;">somebody</span></strong>.<br />
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Bottom 14th: HOU 2 - PHI 2<br />
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After Melancon retires Brian Schneider (1-3 groundout) and Jimmy Rollins (line out to RF), the Phils manufacture a scoring opportunity as Placido Polanco singles to right and Chase Utley draws a walk.<br />
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Ryan Howard steps to the plate with an 0-for-10 albatross around his neck, including 7 strikeouts.<br />
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Howard <strong><span style="color: red;">checks his swing</span></strong> on Melancon's 0-1 pitch in the dirt. Astro catcher <span style="color: blue;"><strong>Humberto Quintero</strong></span> appeals to <strong><span style="color: red;">Scott Barry</span></strong> at third base. Barry rules that Howard swung.<br />
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Howard angrily puts his hands on his hips.<br />
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Like the victim in a <span style="color: red;">schoolyard copycat game</span>, Barry angrily puts his hands on his hips.<br />
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Like the <span style="color: red;">nerd who nobody played with</span> in the schoolyard, Chris Wheeler defends Scott Barry.<br />
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Tom McCarthy, rapidly becoming the voice of Reason in Phillies baseball telecasts, realizes that 2 days of anger are about to explode at Citizens Bank Pank.<br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">McCarthy: "Howard is getting pretty hot. Barry is getting pretty hot himself."</span></em><br />
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Chris Wheeler tries to respond without disparaging Scott Barry.<br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Wheeler: "Uh . . . yeah!</span></em><br />
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After a foul ball and a passed ball that allows Polanco and Utley to advance on the bases, Melancon spins another slider into the dirt.<br />
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Ryan Howard checks his swing again.<br />
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Scott Barry rules that Howard did swing - again.<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: FACE OF INSANITY</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Every morning after I take my shower, I step to my bathroon sink and shave with an electric shaver.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>During that process, I have the pleasure of spending 4-6 minutes staring at an insane person*</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: xx-small;"><strong>*I have the prescriptions to prove it - DJP</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><strong>But the person who stares at me while shaving each morning is nowhere near as dangerous as Scott Barry is right now.</strong></span><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #990000;">As Barry was waiting to eject Ryan Howard, his face resembled <span style="color: red;">Hanibal Lecter</span> from <em>Silence of the Lambs</em>, only Barry - <span style="color: red;">who has not blinked in 10 seconds</span> - looks like he is high on Crystal Meth at the same time.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #990000;">As Howard is ejected and moves toward Barry to argue, Tom McCarthy and Chris Wheeler go into a panic, fearing that Ryan Howard will assult the umpire and earn a suspension.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #990000;">Trust me, a suspension would have been the least of Ryan Howard's problems. </span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #990000;">I'm convinced that if Howard had gotten within kissing distance of Scott Barry, the umpire would have leaned forward and sunk his canine teeth into Howard's <span style="color: red;">Carotid Artery</span> - causing the first baseman to <span style="color: red;">bleed out</span> within 30 seconds.</span></strong><br />
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With Howard and <strong><span style="color: red;">Ross Gload</span></strong> ejected on the play - a fact that escaped both Wheeler and McCarthy as Howard approached Barry - the Phils were left with only 7 eligible position players. <br />
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Roy Oswalt was forced to play <strong><span style="color: red;">left field</span></strong> as Raul Ibanez made his way to replace Howard at first base.<br />
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I feel like <strong><span style="color: red;">Ellis 'Red' Boyd</span></strong> from <em>The Shawshank Redemption</em>: as cellmate Andy Dufrane is being serviced by a group of fellow inmates in the laundry room.<br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;"><strong>"I wish I could say the Phillies overcame their poor execution and incompetent umpiring to win the baseball game."</strong></span></em><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;"><strong>"I wish I could say that . . ."</strong></span></em><br />
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Final score: Astros 4 - Phillies 2 (16 innings)<br />
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Final score from Denver: Rockies 5 - Braves 2<br />
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I am Don Pigeon and I am OOUUUTTTTT!!!Don Pigeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02935719013014134165noreply@blogger.com0