Pre-game:
An already tense mood surrounding the Phillies-Braves series morphed into the bizarre as scheduled Atlanta starter Jair Jurrgens was scratched in favor of rookie rightnader Brandon Beachy, who compiled a 5-1 record with a 1.73 ERA record at the AA and AAA levels.
While Jarrgens has baffled the Phils over the past two seasons, basically any pitcher whose name begins with ROOKIE has the potential to stifle the Phillies. Take Florida's Adalberto Mendez, who brought a 1-8 minor league record to Citizens Bank Park on Labor Day and tossed 6 shutout innings before leaving the game with a groin pull.
Cole Hamels (11-10, 3.01 ERA), who has shown the ability to dominate in the spotlight, takes the ball for the Philles.
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: RETURN OF THE LEFTY
Looking above a model of Citizens Bank Park on a table in the war room of the rebuilt Douche Star, Imperial Commander John Scherholz complains to Sith Emperor Bobby Cox as Imperial fleet apporaches South Philadelphia.
Scherholz: "This Citizens Bank Park plays like a Band Box. Our rookie pitcher will be heading to slaughter against those savage hitters."
Cox: "If young Beachy surrenders himself to the Dark Side of the Force, no harm will come to him."
Scherholz: "You and your silly religion make me sick! You're sending the rookie into that fortress un . . .ACCCHHKKK . . .ACCCHHKK . . .
The Emperor raises his sand and clenches his fist as Scherholz begins floating off the floor.
Cox: "DO YOU DARE DOUBT THE POWER OF THE FORCE IN MY PRESENCE???"
Scherholz: "I . . . accchhkk . . .mis-spoke . . .sir . . .aaccchhhkk"
Cox: "You're lack of faith digusts me.
Cox lowers his hand and Scherholz collapses to the floor, hyperventilating.
Cox then brings his hands to his face and blows softly upon the model of Citizens Bank Park on war room table.
Cole Hamels enters the Phillies bullpen to begin his pre-game warm-up tosses.
Hamels: "Man, it sure got windy here all of a sudden!"
Top 1st:
Hamels delivers a clean first inning, allowing only an infield single to Jason Heyward.
Bottom 1st: 0-0
After a Victorino pop-out, Polanco crushes a 1-1 fastball to the gap in left center. But a strong head-wind allows Matt Diaz - a platoon player who kills the Phillies - to go into web-gem mode for a sliding catch.
Chase Utley rips an opposite-field liner, but the wind also kills this liner as Diaz makes a more routine running catch to end the inning.
Top 2nd: 0-0
In typical Braves fashion, Derrick Lee fouls off three two-stirke pitches before slapping a single to left.
The Naked Emperor notes that Hamels got away with a hanging change-up that could have been a home run.
Hamels' next pitch is a 93-mph in the Nitro Zone. All-Star catcher Brian McCann has hit plenty of those into the seats over the years, but this one luckily smacks the right-field wall about five feet from the top. The RBI double gives the Braves a 1-0 lead.
Matt Diaz slaps a single past a drawn-in Wilson Valdez to move McCann to third.
The Lefty sees the runners around him and tight strike zone authored by home plate umpire Mark Carlson and looks toward the sky . . .and grieves for the departed Lefty Master Jamie Moyer.
Hamels: "I can't do it Charlie . . . I can't do it alone"
The voice of Charlie Manual echos around Hamels
Manual: "Jamie-he done-he's-you know-done always gonna-well-when you-you know-with you"
Hamels summons the courage to strike out Alex Gonzalez and jam Melky Cabrerra into an inning-ending double play.
Bottom 2nd: ATL 1 - PHI 0
With Ryan Howard leading off, Beachy leaves a fastball on the inner-half. In August that pitch is missed or grounded to second base. But in September, Ryan Howard scolds a double into the right-field corner.
After a Jayson Werth fly out and a Raul Ibanez grounder, Howard is on 3rd with two outs.
But Beachy allows his first major league run when Carlos Ruiz crushes a hanging curve into the left-field corner to tie the game.
Bottom 5th: PHI 1 - ATL 1
Frustrated by his team's inability to solve Brandon Beachy - and the relentless wind - through four innings, Lefty Knight Cole Hamels decides to use the Force.
As Shane Victorino sends a high Beachy changeup toward Braves Rookie of the Year candidate Jason Heyward, Hamels stares intently toward the distant rightfielder.
Hamels: "The wind will knock it down."
Heyward: "The wind will knock it down."
Hamels: "The ball won't hook right."
Heyward: "The ball won't hook right."
Hamels: "You don't have to reach further."
Heyward: "I don't have to reach further."
To the delight of the sold-out Citizens Bank crowd, Heyward first circles, then short-arms the routine line drive off the tip of his glove; allowing Victorino to sprint to third.
Placido Polanco sends a grounder to short. Going on contact, Victorino hesitates long enough to get himself thrown out by Braves shortstop Alex Gonzalez.
But the Hamels feels the Force once more.
Hamels: "You can't beat the runner home."
Gonzalez: "I can't beat the runner home."
Hamels: "You should take the sure out at first."
Gonzalez: "I should take the sure out at first."
Victorino crosses home and Polanco is credited with an RBI.
Chase Utley lines a single to center, and tries to steal second on Braves All-Star Brain McCann. Martin Prado short arms McCann's throw, allowing Utley to move to third. Raul Ibanez grounds softly to short, allowing Utley to score for a 3-1 lead.
The Sith Emperor Cox mutters to himself in the Braves dugout.
"The Force is strong in this one."
Top 6th: PHI 3 - ATL 1
Cole Hamels quickly retires Omar Infante on a fly ball to Werth. But a walk to Heyward brings Martin Prado to the plate as the potenital tying run.
With the count 2-2, Hamels leaves a 92-mph fastball middle-in. Prado sends a rocket toward the left field foul pole.
Hamels stares at the soaring ball and stares intently: the ball suddenly hooks harmlessly about 20-feet foul.
Prado sends a hard grounder to Chase Utley, who joins with Wilson Valdez to complete a sweet 4-6-3 double play.
Cole Hamels goes on to complete eight innings for the Phils, allowing just the second inning run on six hits and striking out six.
Brad Lidge then comes in to pitch a perfect ninth inning for his 24th save of the season.
Final score: Phillies 3 - Braves 1
Magic Number to clinch the NL East: 8
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!
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