Pre-game:
The Phillies send Kyle Kendrick (9-9 4.85) to the mound against Washington righthander Jordan Zimmerman (0-1, 5.29), who is recovering from Tommy John surgery. Earlier in the day, the Braves edged the New York Mets by a 4-2 score as Philly's favorite Apopka famer Billy Wagner collected his second straight save at Citi Field.
Top 1st:
Kyle Kendrick enters the contest with a .319 batting average allowed to left-handed hitters and a 7.06 career earned run average against the Washington Nationals.
In other words, Kendrick doens't need to huff Fear Toxin to get stressed against this bunch.
Leadoff hitter Danny Espinosa lines an 0-1 pitch to center for a single. Ian Desmond takes a funky inside-out swing at a high 0-1 fastball and lines an opposite-field triple to right that socres Espinosa.
Pitching coach Rich Dubee comes out to pay a visit to Kenrick.
Dubee: "What's the matter son? I thought that Phantic doll was helping with those terror attacks."
Kendrick: "Well . . .um . . .the Phanatic is great! I sleep real good when curl up with him under the covers with my Roy Halladay nite-lite turned on."
Dubee: "OK, well the Braves already won today so we need you to give us a chance tonight, you know. The Braves are coming in and - Kyle can you stand still? You look like you're about to pee your-
KYLE! Did you forget to pee before you went out to the bullpen for warmups?
Kendrick: "Um . . . my Mom packed me a Red Bull to drink before the game . . . but I was only half-done when warmups started so I chugged it . . . and I really have to pee BAD!! Can you take me out and let Vance Worley pitch now?
Dubee: "No son. You filled your bladder and now you have to deal with it like a man. Get me three outs and I'll make sure the guys take their time batting so you can go pee."
The next hitter, Ryan Zimmerman, owns a .500 lifetime batting average against Kyle Kendrick Thinking outside the box, Kendrick plunks a high-inside fastball off his left shoulder.
Cleanup hitter Adam Dunn represents potential disaster, but Kendrick is motivated by visions of the clubhouse urinal. He keeps Dunn off-balance with sinkers for a strikeout, than dusts Roger Bernadina with with third strike cutter.
After a walk to Mike Morse loads the bases, Kendrick earns his biological break by forcing Wilson Ramos into a weak grounder to second.
Bottom 1st: WSH 1 - PHI 0
Shane Victorino leads off with a single up the middle. The Phils lead the National League in steals during their 13-3 September, Victorino's attempt is doomed by some poor footing and a strong throw by catcher Wilson Ramos. Naturally, Chase Utley slaps a two-out single that goes to waste.
Bottom 2nd: WSH 1 - PHI 0
With Jordan Zimmerman still regaining his strength after returning to the majors, the Phils hope to push his pitch count tonight.
Jayson Werth works a 3-2 count plus a pair of fouls, before Zimmerman tries to finish him with a curve ball. But Werth puts a short swing on the ball and lets his CroMagnon strength send the ball into the left-field bleachers to tie the game.
Raul Ibanez and Carlos Ruiz follow with 3-2 singles to center.
Wilson Valdez comes to the plate and slams a liner into the left-field corner. Ibanez scores easily, Ruiz cruises into third and Valdez has his sights set on a double . . .
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: CRIMINAL MINDS PART VI (from 9/13/10)
Special Agent Derrick Morgan has always struggled with issues of faith and the supernatural. The former Northwestern running back is examining a sock puppet in the apartment of Wilson Valdez, which he is searching with Liutennant Aaron Hochner. The Phillies jersey sewn onto this puppet is blank.
Morgan: "So tell me again how this is supposed to work."
Hochner: "When Valdez wants one of his teamates to get hurt, he simply makes up a sock puppet, reads an incantation and performs some short of abuse to the talisman to cause an injury to the player.
Morgan: "OK . . . I think I got this. I'll take this red maker . . . write the letters VALDEZ on the back of the jersey above the number 21 . . .read a little incantation - OWHATAGOOFIAM! . . .and tug a little on the left hamstring and presto! Wilson Valdez will pull his left hamstring!"
. . . but as Valdez runs over the spot just beyond first where Victorino slipped during his stolen base attempt, his left foot plants on loose dirt, causing his left leg to extend fully for a split second. Valdez gingerly jogs into second base, but keeps rubbing his left hamstring.
Hochner: "MORGAN! I know this is a joke to you, but many things in this world can't be explained by science.
Don't mess with things you don't understand!"
Bottom 3rd: PHI 2 - WSH 1
Buoyed by Kendrick's first 1-2-3 inning of the night, the Phils continue their assult on Jordan Zimmerman's pitch count.
Chase Utley draws a walk on five pitches. With the runner on first, the Nationals adjust their usual over-shift on Ryan Howard to account for a possible double-play grounder.
But Howard sends the 1-1 pitch where shifts don't matter; over the left-field fence just past the outstretched glove of Roger Bernadina.
Raul Ibanez, who has been guilty of over-swinging through much of 2010, decides to duplicate Howard's short swing with one out. Like Howard, Ibanez is rewarded with an opposite-field home run out of Bernadina's reach.
After Ruiz comes within five feet of his own opposite-field home run, Wilson Valdez brings his tender hamstring to the plate. The reserve shortstop slaps a base-hit past the first base bag, and easily legs out his second double of the game. Valdez ends the inning on second base, but Phillies fans are thrilled nonetheless.
Top 7th: PHI 5 - WSH 2
Kyle Kendrick responds to Rich Dubee's 'tough love' sermon by pitching six full innings; allowing just two runs on six hits.
Chad Durbin enters the game in the seventh and promptly walks pinch-hitter Willie Harris. Durbin then recovers to strikeout Alberto Gonzalez for the first out.
Danny Espinosa looks at strike one, two pickoff attempts, and strike two before swinging and missing at strike three.
Thinking that the rules of baseball have been changed to four strikes for this one plate appearance, Espinosa and manager Jim Riggleman argue the matter briefly with home plate umpire Angel Hernandez.
This may be the second dumbest moment I've seen from a baseball player at Citizen's Bank Park this season.
Mr.Werth - would you care to tell us what 2010's DUMBEST moment might be?
Top 8th: PHI 5 - WSH 2
Ryan Madson pitches his was into trouble by issuing one-out walks to Adam Dunn and Roger Bernadina. The mercurial set-up man shatters the bat of Mike Morse, but with Wilson Valdez moving toward third base as Placido Polanco fields the ball, the third baseman has nowhere to throw the baseball.
Madson escapes disaster when Raul Ibanez makes a nice play on Wilson Ramos' liner to left for the second out. Madson then blows away Willie Harris to end the inning
Top 9th: PHI 5 - WSH 2
Brad Lidge gave Phillies fans - at least sentient ones - a reason to worry on Wednesday night as he allowed three walks and a single against the five Marlin batters he faced.
But Lidge appears to be in command tonight, as Kevin Mench pops a 1-0 pitch to Ryan Howard, Danny "1-2-3 strikes you're out" Espinosa sends a weak grounder to Chase Utley, and Ian Desmond sends an even weaker grounder to Lidge.
Final score: Phillies 5 - Nationals 2
Final score from Flushing: Braves 4 - Mets 2 (Thanks for NOTHING Mets!!!)
Magic Number to clinch NL East: 11 games
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!
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