Pre-game:
Tom McCarthy and Chris Wheeler open by discussing how on earth the Phils can stop Rod Barajas.
Career stats against Phils: 11 games - .514 avg. - 8 HR - 19 RBI
Team record against Phils: 10-1
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WMPS NEED NOT APPLY
The way to deal with a career .234 hitter who is destroying your pitching staff is to SEND HIS FACE TO THE DIRT AND HIS CLEATS TO THE SKY.
Rod Barajas is feeling WAY-WAY-WAY too comfortable against Phillie pitchers. The surest way to reduce the Matador's comfort level is to test his ability to dodge a fastball headed for his ear-flap!
If the benches clear, the benches clear. Incidently, we owe Joe Torre and the LA Dodgers a bench-clearing brawl for what Ronald 'Punk' Belasario did to Wilson Valdez back on August 10.
Top 1st:
Rollins tries to uppercut a hanging curve to the seats, but Dodger Stadium is a fly ball graveyard. Can of Corn to RF.
Polanco singles to RF and Utley gets hit by a pitch.
Howard crushes a fastball, but the Biff Tannen defense (Dodgers magically decide NOT to overshirt Howard?) produces a double-play as Rafael Belliard gobbles the wicked grounder.
Bottom 1st: 0-0
Chris Wheeler: "The problem with Kyle Kendrick is too many base-runners."
Don Pigeon: "The problem with obese people is too much fat."
Once again, Kyle Kendrick huffs a can of Fear Toxin before taking the rubber.
Scott Posednik ends a brilliant at-bat with on opposite-field double to left on a tough outside-corner pitch with two strikes.
Gripped by terror as the toxin takes effect, Kendrick plunks the mighty Jamie Carroll on the shoulder.
Andre Ethier bails out KK with a first-swing pop-up. After Matt Kemp lines a single to center, Kendrick walks James Loney to force in the game's first run.
Top 2nd: LAD 1 - PHI 0
Jayson Werth swigs a bottle of Monster Hitman before leading off the 2nd. With his brain fully engaged, Werth keeps his hands back and lines a double down the RF line.
Following a deep Raul Ibanez fly to right and a walk to Shane Victorino, Brian Schneider dons the Rod Barajas Matador cape and slams a 3-run HR to right.
Top 3rd: PHI 3 - LAD 1
Following leadoff singles by Placido Polanco and Chase Utley, the Dodgers pull Carlos Monestarios in favor of Ramon Troncoso.
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WIRED FOR SOUND
Troncoso: Hey, Big Guy! I got some E.L.Fudge from home. You look like you could use a piece!
Howard: "I love you, man!
Howard blasts a 3-run HR to left center!
Bottom 5th: PHI 6 - LAD 1
Rod Barajas singles to left field to start the inning. He would eventually score on a Jamey Carroll groundout.
I swear to God; Clark Kent could pull on a Phillies jersey and The Matador would go 2-for3 off him!
Botton 6th: PHI 6 - LAD 2
With just 76 pitches thrown, Kendrick should be able to give Charlie Manuel one more inning. But after Matt Kemp starts the inning with a cue shot single to center, Kendrick sends some 90-mph Napalm to Janes Loney. The first baseman sends a souvenir to a lucky Dodger fan in right field. 2-run HR.
Top 7th: PHI 6 - LAD 4.
After Scott Podsednik earns himself a WEB-GEM moment by spilling into the stands while catching an Utley pop-up, the batteries on George Sherill's GPS go dead. The Dodger lefthander walks Howard and Werth.
After a two-out intentional walk to Shane Victorino, Joe Torre begins the long descent toward Alzheimer's when he brings Jonathon Broxton to face Carlos the Beast Ruiz. The Phils catcher triggers PTSS for Broxton by lining a two-run single
Final Score: Phillies 8 - Dodgers 4
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!
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