Top 1st: 0-0
As the ESPN telecast begins from Flushing, a downpour that began at 7:20 PM continues to envelop Citi Field.
With a steady rain falling and glistening ponds of water stretching from first to third base, someone makes the foolish and dangerous decision to begin the game at its original 8:05 start time.
But what kind of IDIOT would make such a decision when the (a) radars showed that the rain would end within 60 minutes and (b) The Phillies would return to Citi Field for a weekend series 9/10 – 9/12?
Perhaps the Rules of Baseball can identify the culprit
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: THE RULES OF BASEBALL
4.01 Unless the home club shall have given previous notice that the game has been postponed or will be delayed in starting, the umpire, or umpires, shall enter the playing field five minutes before the hour set for the game to begin and proceed directly to home base where they shall be met by the managers of the opposing teams.
In other words, at 8:00 EST the New York Mets entrusted their baseball field and the safety of its 10 competing players to CREW CHIEF TOM HALLION
I swear Patrick from SpongeBob Square Pants could write this blog some nights
Bottom 1st: 0-0
One can only hope that the Hallion’s reckless incompetence won’t cause injury or impact the outcome of this crucial NL East game.
Reyes bails out Phillies starter Kyle Kendrick by jamming himself on an inside fastball, but the ball is targeted to shallow left where either Raul Ibanez or Jimmy Rollins is going to have a 50-yard sprint to make the play . . . in the rain . . . on a slick field.
Weather impact # 1 – The ball falls in for a base hit.
Weather impact # 2 – The speedy Reyes can’t accelerate to turn the slow-developing play into a double.
Weather impact # 3 – After two pitches and a pickoff attempt, Reyes breaks for 2nd, but only gets an average jump due to the wet infield. He’s called out following a perfect throw by Carlos Ruiz.
Replays were inconclusive – though ESPN color analyst Joe Morgan wants to believe Reyes is safe like my daughter wanted to believe in Santa Claus at the age of 9.
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: AWKWARD WHITE LIES
My daughter Jenn has a joyful spirit and sees the good in all situations. She easily believed in Santa Claus while in 3rd grade.
Little Pigeon was age 5 and attending a local pre-school. On the last day before Christmas Vacation, his teacher’s husband came in to set up for a party then suddenly vanished.
During the party, a man claiming to be Santa Claus came into the class to hand out presents. Little Pigeon recognized Santa’s boots as the ones worn by his teacher’s husband.
Little Pigeon came home from school and before saying, "HI MOMMY!!", made the following announcement:
"SANTA CLAUS ISN’T REAL."
The Bus Lady was caught so badly off-guard that she confessed he was right.
Jenn continued to believe in Santa Claus for two more years.
Top 3rd: 0-0
A moment ago, I verbally thanked God that I didn’t have to deal with the ramblings of Chris Wheeler during tonight’s ESPN telecast.
I no sooner got the words out, and then God reminded me that he has a sense of humor.
ESPN Color Analyst Joe Morgan: “K-Rod said he would apologize to each of his teammates individually – and some folks feel he should have apologized to his teammates as a group”.
I don’t give a CRAP whether K-Rod apologized to his teammates one-by-one, as a group, in height order or in alphabetical order.
You see, I don’t recall K-Rod being arrested and suspended for punching out a member of the NY Mets
After Rollins drops a single into left field, Morgan manages to say something even dumber . . .
Morgan: “You look at the Phillies and you think that once they get Utley and Howard back, everything’s going to be OK . . . but that’s not necessarily so . . .
Taking the page from the handbook of the Naked Emperor, Morgan tossed some random pieces of accurate data (fifth starter, blah-blah-blah, bullpen, blah-blah-blah, Rollins hitting .210 left-handed) to develop the baseball equivalent of junk science.
Joe, this is all you need to know:
1 – Phillies record since July 22: 18-5 (Utley has missed all 23 of these games)
2 – Phillies record since Ryan Howard was injured in Washington: 9-3
3 – Phillies record when Jimmy Rolling scores a run: 19-3
4 – Games started by career minor-leaguer Wilson Valdez: 81 (37 at 2nd, 4 at 3rd and 40 at short)
Conclusion: Once the Phillies get Utley and Howard back, everything’s going to be OK
Seriously Joe, how exactly do you keep this whole BREATHE IN-BREATHE OUT thing straight?
GOING PIGEON RANDOM MOVIE QUOTE:
From Ruthless People: “This may be the stupidest person on earth! Perhaps we should shoot him.”
Shoot Joe Morgan if you want, but you’d better leave Chris Wheeler for me!!!
After Rollins swipes 2nd and 3rd, Victorino doubles down the first base line to make the score 1-0.
Bottom 3rd: PHI 1 – METS 0
Sometimes, left with no one to blame, Phillies fans have to accept that their guy beat our guy.
Kendrick fires a filthy sinker on the inside corner to Jose Reyes . . . but Reyes cranks an even filthier swing and sends the pitch off the right field foul-pole to tie the score.
It really was a moment out of The Natural. Reyes jogs majestically around the bases as the rain begins to pour harder in Flushing. I expected to see Glenn Close stand in the club box seats with her purse and virgin white dress.
Top 5th: PHI 1 – METS 1
During a mid-game interview with Jon Miller, Jerry Manuel explains his dispute over Reyes being called out stealing in the first inning.
Manual:” I told the umpires that Reyes is usually safe on these things.”
That’s true.
Also true: Steve Irwin was usually safe on episodes of Crocodile Hunter.
After Victorino scolds a two-out single to center, Mike Pelfrey tosses five pickoff attempts before Victorino steals second base anyway.
As Victorino was stealing second base, Placido Polonco took a pitch outside to make the count 3-2.
Following the stolen base, Joe Morgan and Jon Miller had the benefit of personal ESPN video monitors and a Citi Field scoreboard that looked something like this photo (taking during a Stadium shakedown run on 2/21/09).
But despite all of the clues 21st century technology can provide, Joe Morgan made the following comment when Victorino broke for third as Polanco fouled off the next pitch:
“Sometimes you steal 3rd base simply because you want to mess with the pitcher’s head”
Wait . . . there’s more!
“There are 9 ways to score from 3rd with 2 outs that you can’t (score) from 2nd.”
If I operated the Citi Field scoreboard, it would have looked more like this . . .
HEY IDIOT!!!!
VICTORINO BROKE FOR THIRD BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO OUTS AND THE BATTER HAS A FULL COUNT!!!
I was wrong earlier . . . Patrick Star could not write this blog – he does not have fingers.
But he could be a color analyst for ESPN.
Polanco slaps the next pitch past Pelfrey and into centerfield to score Victorino and give the Phillies a 2-1 lead!
Watching Joe Morgan tonight - trying to prove to me that he is more clueless than Chris Wheeler made me feel like Bella from New Moon as Jake tried to win her away from Edward.
DON’T JUDGE ME!!!
“Joe, I hate you. So please, don't make me choose. Cause it'll be Wheeler. . Every time . . .
It's always been Wheeler”
Due to . . . I KNOW IT’S DINNER TIME! . . . time constraints this blog . . . I DO HAVE A LIFE! THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO REALLY LIKE READING THIS! . . . will be suspended with the Phillies leading 2-1 in the top of the fifth inning
I an Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!
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