7:15 - Comcast airs highlights of Scott Barry's Hanibal Lecter impersonation in the 14th inning of Tuesday's game.
The footage highlights Dan Baker's announcment of tonight's umpiring crew. Scott Barry and Greg Gibson are booed lustily.
I would have preferred a 2-hour of seranade of BAAARRRRRY - BAAARRRRY!
Naturally, Chris the Naked Emperor Wheeler has to take a shot at the Phillie fans that pay his salary (by watching the games on TV)
Wheeler: "(The fans that booed) knew who (Gibson & Barry) were. You know, these guys really don't like attention."
Pigeon: You've got to be kidding me! Scott Barry sure looked like he loved and wanted the attention when he was baiting Ryan Howard so he could throw him out on strike 3.
Pigeon: Chris . . . Please stop talking! On, second thought . . . please stop breathing!"
Bottom 3rd: 0-0
Roy Halladay is in full Cy Young mode as he retires the first 9 Astros on 30 pitches.
But J.A. Happ is throwing well and taking advantage of the Phils current obsession with trying to pull tape-measure homers.
Ben Francisco grounds weakly to short after trying to pull an 90 mph outisde fastball.
Carlos Ruiz jams himself on a high change-up and sends a soft looper to second.
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: WAR IS HELL
Marlon Brando - as Colonel Walter E. Kurtz in Apocalypse Now: "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning!"
Louis Gosset Jr. - as Sgt. Emil Foley in An Officer and a Gentleman: "Napalm sticks to little kids! (during marching song)
Hunter Pence- RF Houston Astros: "I love the smell of Napalm at Citizens Bank Park"
Solo homer to RF
Bottom 4th: HOU 1 - PHI 0
With one out and Victorino on first, Placido Polanco tries to pull a hanging slider instead of taking the pitch to right field.
No Pinky and the Brain segment for you tonight, Polly! YOU HAVE TO EARN THOSE!
Bottom 5th: HOU 1 - PHI 0
Jayson Werth begins his community service to Phillie fans for his Monday night pickoff by slamming a solo homer off the fence railing in left field.
Top 6th: 1-1
Houston regains the lead as Michael Bourn crushes a one-out homer to RF
Mr. Bourn; the HGH tester will see you now!
Bottom 6th: HOU 2 - PHI 1
Roy Halladay: "If I want something done right; I'd better do it myself!"
Halladay leads off with a ground single up the middle. It's fascinating how a guy who spent his entire career in the American League knew enough to take what Happ gave him instead of trying to pull a home run into the flower pots.
Shane Victorino appears to earn a free ticket to first base when a Happ pitch plunks off his elbow.
In spite of not wanting to draw attention to himself, home plate umpire Brian Knight elects to call Victorino back to home plate.
In fairness to Knight, replays showed that Victorino made no effort to elude the pitch.
In fairness to Victorino, he has been watching teammate Chase Utley do the same thing for 4 years and almost never get called back to the plate.
Sometimes, good umpiring is about consistency. But consistent umpires never get shown on Sportscenter.
For a brief moment, Karma shines on Phillies fans as Victorino dribbles a single to left field.
The moment continues when Polanco sends a routine liner to Carlos Lee, who manages to butcher the play into an RBI double.
Top 7th: 2-2
Chris Johnson sends a double past Jayon Werth into the right field corner.
Chris Wheeler gushes about how hot Chris Johnson has been - alluding to Ryan Madson's ill-fated pitch to Carlos Lee with Johnson in the on-deck circle in Monday's loss.
Johnson has been hot, but the pitch Halladay threw him (91-mph down the middle) would keep most hitters in a hot streak.
Halladay pays for that mistake when Humberto Quintero (a.k.a. - the Lukiest Catcher in the World), drops his bat on a tough curve ball and bloops an RBI double to left.
Bottom 8th: HOU 3 - PHI 2
Playing for the stressed out and sore Ryan Howard, Mike Sweeney greets Happ with a leadoff single.
Ben Francisco grounds into a 5-4 fielders choice. Ruiz then singles to left before Roy Halladay is lifted for a pinch hitter.
Facing Astros reliever Tom Byrdak, Raul Ibanez drives a ball that is caught deep in right center.
Jimmy Rollins then steps in against Mark Melancon.
Rollins takes a high curve for strike one
Tom McCarthy: "Rollins thought that pitch was high - and it looked like it was."
Chris Wheeler: "It looked like a good pitch."
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: MEDICAL MYSTERIES
How do major league umpires ever sit on the throne when Chris Wheeler always has his lips in their CENSORED?
Rollins manages to work the count even at 2-2, before LCW Quintero decides to make a routine toss to Chris Johnson at third.
Despite the hard work performed by CBP groundskeepers who cleared a clay pathway between 3rd base and home plate, Ben Francisco manages to get lost on the way back to third base.
Johnson nearly wet belches his pre-game dinner laughing as he tags Franciso to end the inning.
GOING PIGEON PRESENTS: EARLY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
For Jayson Werth: An IHome alarm clock Radio, for those days when standing at second base makes you sooooo sleeeeeeepy
For Ben Francisco: A Magellan eXplorist GPS Navigation system for when you just can't find third base hidden among those fellows in the red Astros shirts.
For Chris Wheeler: 4-ounce jar of Vicks Vapor Rub. Because some umpries don't shower as often as they should.
For Scott Barry: A dime bag of Crystal Methamphetamine; to see if you could act any more psychotic than you so when you're when allegedly sober.
Final score: Astros 3 - Phillies 2
Final score from Denver: Rockies 12 - Braves 10
BTW - The Phillies owe the Rockies one SERIOUS apology
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!
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